1. Relationships

2. History of relationships research
Pre1960s
Festinger, Schachter, & Bach, 1950
1960s-70s
Newcomb, 1961
Byrne, 1961
Walster, Aronson, Abrahams, & Rottman, 1966
Dutton & Aron, 1974
1980s
Love, Investment model
1990s
Evolutionary psych
2000s
“Real” relationships
People say that physical attraction isn’t that important, but research shows that it is

3. Predictors of attraction (target)
What factors affect perceptions of physical attractiveness across cultures?
Where are there
cultural differences?
Who is it more important
for?

4. “Averaged” faces are more symmetrical

5. And it doesn’t just matter for romantic relationships
Physically attractive children are punished less
Physically attractive defendants get lighter sentences
Plain people make 5-10% less than average-looking people, who make about 4% less than very physically attractive people (controlling for gender, education, occupation, etc.)
Strong consensus across cultures
Why?

6. What is beautiful is good stereotype (Snyder, Tanke, & Berscheid, 1978)
Physically attractive seen as more
Sociable Extraverted
Happy Popular
Friendly Mature
Sexually warm Likeable
Well-adjusted Poised
In US/Canada, also strong, assertive, and dominant
In S. Korea, also sensitive, honest, empathic, trustworthy, generous

7. What else affects attraction?
Other target or perceiver or situation variables?
What’s the story on
similarity vs.
complementarity?

8. Major theoretical approaches
Social exchange theory (Blau, 1964)
Equity theory (Walster, Walster, & Berscheid, 1978)
Interdependence theory (Thibaut & Kelley, 1959)
Investment model (Rusbult, 1990)
Attachment theory (Hazan & Shaver, 1987)
Evolutionary psychology (Buss, Kenrick)
Communal vs. exchange relationships (Clark)

9. Investment Model (Rusbult)
Draw the model
Predicts 50-90% of commitment in relationships of all types (dating, marriage, domestic abuse, homosexual, jobs)
Predicts willingness to accommodate
Predicts when people will derogate alternatives
EVLN
How does it differ from equity? From social exchange?

10. Attachment Bowlby Ainsworth “Strange Situation”
Secure, Avoidant, Anxious-ambivalent
Hazan & Shaver, 1987
Avoidance vs. Ambivalence as separate dimensions
Secure
Preoccupied
Fearful avoidant
Dismissive avoidant

11. Secure
I find it relatively easy to get close to others an am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don’t often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close.

12. Avoidant
I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others. I feel it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets close and often romantic partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being.

13. Anxious/ambivalent
I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or won’t stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, and this desire sometimes scares people away.

14. More recent measures of attachment
Adult Attachment Interview (George, Kaplan, & Main, 1985)
ECR-R (Fraley, Waller, & Brennan, 2000)
List of measures

15. Attachment theory (Bowlby, Hazen & Shaver, Feeney, Simpson)
Our experiences with parents and later partners can affect how we view relationships
Views of others vs. views of self
What is the problem with looking at these categorically?
When does someone
become an attachment figure?
What is main point of
Attachment theory?
Is it evolutionary?

16. Love (80s)
Rubin’s love scale
Companionate vs. passionate love (Berscheid & Walster, 1978)
Sternberg’s triangular theory (intimacy, passion, commitment)
Love styles (Henrick & Henrick)
eros, ludus, storge, mania, agape, pragma
Sternberg’s love as a theory (scripts)
How can love be best conceptualized?

17. Passionate vs. companionate love
Passionate: intense longing with arousal. I would feel deep despair if X left me. My thoughts are often on X. I would rather be with X than anyone else. X always seems to be on my mind.
Companionate love: intimacy and affection. I have confidence in the stability of my relationship with X. I am committed to X. I expect my love for X to last the rest of my life.

18. Sternberg’s triangular theory

19. Evolutionary psych Parental investment model (Trivers, 1972)
Strategic pluralism (Gangestad & Simpson, 2000)
What is attractive
Long vs. short term strategies
Jealousy
Scent
Rape
Avoiding temptation
Warding off rivals

20. Evolution vs. Relationship Sci
How do these 2 approaches tend to differ?
Their focus
Their type of explanation
Their questions
Adversarial collaboration

21. Conflict-confluence continuum model
What does the model do?
Figure 1—give examples of each
What affects when people will be more on one side vs. the other?
What other findings could this model explain/integrate?

22. Ovulatory shift hypothesis
What is it?
What moderates its effects?
Why does it occur?
Maintenance hypothesis
Dual-mating hypothesis
Adaptive workaround
Integrations (Table 1)
Moderated by relationship features
Extended sexuality
Inhibition (I3 model, Figure 6)

23. Fertility effects on women
Women prefer the smell of symmetrical and genetically dissimilar men when they are ovulating (and similar men otherwise)
Women dress more fashionably
They buy sexier clothing
They make more money if they use attractiveness to make money
They are attracted to more masculine men (e.g., strong jaw, deep voice, tall)
They flirt more
They are less committed to partner

24. Fertility effects on men
When a man’s partner is ovulating, he
Is more attentive
Is more jealous
Sees other men as more of a threat

25. Adaptions/Big questions
What necessarily is adaptive?
Does everything have to be?
If someone doesn’t cheat, is it always for the partner?
Moderators in Table 2
How does dissonance fit in with all this?
Your questions/comments

26. Jealousy effects Imagine your partner having sex with someone else.
Imagine your partner sharing his/her deepest secrets with someone else.
Which would bother you more?

27. Men—more sexual jealousy Women—more emotional jealousy But:
Does one imply the other?
Are men just more affected by thinking about sex?
Or are men just more avoidant?
Hard to test in the real world

28. Understanding Why is this important in relationships?
Is perceived or actual more important?
What are moderators of understanding?
Break down Figure 1
What does this model suggest about other types of understanding (e.g., political, empathy for other groups, police)?
Your questions

29. Manipulations of closeness
Aron, Melinat, Aron, Vallone, & Bator, 1997

30. Equilibrium Model of Relationship Maintenance (Murray et al. 2015)
Builds on risk regulation model
Draw the model
Who are these “high risk” partners?

31. Murray et al., 2015 Questions/Issues with study SoReMo (Kenny)
Diary study
Multilevel model
Operational definition of risk
Table 1 significance
How would you do this with same-gender couples?
What alternatives did they rule out?
What about gender differences?

32. Cavallo, Murray, & Holmes, 2014
Commitment insurance system
Seek connection vs. avoid rejection
When does this model apply more?
Is trust a matter of the individual or his/her partner?
Is self-esteem a good operationalization of trust?
How do attachment styles relate to the model?
Why would this be a controlled process?
What is the “smart unconscious”?

33. Moderators of risk regulation
Whether immediate or distant (not tied to certain relationship) threats
Chronic trust in the partner
Self-esteem
Attachment anxiety
How do these factors relate to anxious vs. avoidant attachment and their reactions?
How does this affect initiation of relationships?

34. Rules If = ptr, then ptr committed Find similar mate value
Maintain match
Comparisons change commitment (lke Swann study)
Doubt of self leads low SE to doubt ptr
High SE to think ptr loves them more

35. If exchange concerns, promote dependence If ptr dependent, then = ptr
If ptr committed, pursue connectedness
Low SE responds to rejection w/ withdrawal
How different from attachment?
Is low SE = anxious attachment? Avoidant attachment?

36. Similarities between theories
Cognitive dissonance and
Risk regulation/Equilibrium model
Attachment
Investment
Three with each other
What implications do the three have for how to make a relationship work?

37. How interconnected are we?
Six degrees of Kevin Bacon
It also only takes about 6-7 steps to get to another person in the same country by mail
Or to anyone among the millions of people on the internet ( study and Microsoft messenger project)

38. Speed dating

39. Gottman research http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oB6zNcLIH0
4 horsemen of the apocalypse
Contempt
Stonewalling
Defensiveness
Criticism

40. How to have a good relationship
Have surprise (Berscheid, 1983)
Do novel, exciting activities (Aron)
Make positive attributions
Assume they love you and make them feel loved (Murray)
Remember the positive
Think you’re better than other couples
Be accurate but positive (Fletcher)