1. Dealing with Difficult People in Sports
Warren Hagman, CMAA
Las Vegas, NV
Doug Killgore, CMAA
North Little Rock, AR

2. Dealing with Difficult People in Sports
or, “Why I Changed Careers at 48”
Doug Killgore, CMAA
North Little Rock, AR
We all get calls, plenty of calls.
Most involve what parents perceive as:
Unfair, in their eyes, treatment
Mistreatment; again, in their eyes
Most all deal with misunderstanding or miscommunication
2-5 % deal with legitimate, addressable issues
Anonymous calls & s – If possible, acknowledge with “I generally will not deal with anonymous comments without the identification of the one making the comments.”

3. Dealing with Difficult People in Sports
Identify the Oxymoron:
A - Difficult and Parents
B – People and Parents

4. Dealing with Difficult People in Sports
Two Truths:
1 – Parents cannot be objective about their own children.
2 – No one is an expert on any child other than their own; and maybe not then.
As House, MD, of TV fame says: “All people lie.” Be extremely cautious of any who declare objectivity with own child/children until it is proven by action.
Many educators declare, “I know what is best for your child.” Such is generally not the case. Be cautious in its use.

5. Dealing with Difficult People in Sports
1 – Don’t deny it;
difficult people are.
A – Some people are not compatible; either by nature or choice.
B – It’s not you; it’s them.
People’s response – “Everyone else likes me.” It is still them, not you. Do not accept the blame and difficult people are EXPERTS at blaming others.
They will use an Ad Hominem, a logical fallacy. For example:
“Your decision is wrong because you didn’t play softball.”
What impact does playing softball have on when the bus returns?!?!?!?
Many perceptions have become one’s reality before complaints are lodged, therefore one is highly skeptical in allowing he/she may be wrong.

6. Dealing with Difficult People in Sports
2 – Do be a Barney;
Disarm them.
A – Find an area of agreement or praise.
B – Redirect by focusing on positives.
DO NOT join the blame game.
Defuse their anger through praise and compliments particularly of their child.
Acknowledge and identify any positive contributions of their child.
A humorous caution found in some literature: “Whatever you do, don’t cry.”

7. Dealing with Difficult People in Sports
3 – Deal with difficult
in different ways
A – Guard your self-esteem.
B – Guard against anger; rational and emotional do not mix.
C – Accept, “Agreeing to disagree.”
A-Do not become defensive; remember is it about the issue, not about you.
B-Anger, even years down the road, will come back to haunt you.
Emotional people (you or others) are prevented from using logical thought patterns until regaining a calmness.
Do not become a clone of the parent..
C-Eventually, you and the challenging must go separate ways. “You may not agree with the decision/situation but you must say we have discussed it.”
Another position; even if there is no respect for you PERSONALLY, there is to be respect for your POSITION.

8. Dealing with Difficult People in Sports
4 – Work hard; control
the situation.
A – Crisis Manager
1 – Silence; let them speak.
2 – Humor them; hear them out.
3 – Address issues, not people.
You may not be able to fix the problem but you must control the damage; both direct and collateral.
1-Do listen actively; nods, short questions for clarification; demonstrate your understanding and concern.
2-Allow them to completely state the problem; it might be the first time he/she has heard it all too.
3-Respond with questions about the issue:
What would you like to happen? How would you deal with this situation? How would that affect the program or others?

9. Dealing with Difficult People in Sports
5 – Don’t get ruffled.
A – Stay the adult.
B – Be understanding.
C – Give respect and courtesy.
D – Be what he/she isn’t.
A-There is room for only ONE child in the discussion; preferable NONE.
B-Be active, restate for clarity, ask questions about the issue, not people.
C-Above all, act respectfully; it is what all people deserve.

10. Dealing with Difficult People in Sports
“Be kind and friendly, even though they may act like a jerk. If they are just natural jerks who love to make others mad, then what you are doing will enrage them because they can’t figure out how to make you mad and eventually they will leave you alone.”
If the issue can be resolve; great.
If it can’t; at least they will likely not address it with you again.
Prepare your superiors if it goes unresolved. Don’t let them be blind-sided by the situation or continued attacks.

11. Dealing with Difficult People in Sports
And remember…,
Smile – It makes people wonder what you are up to.
Even if it is forced; always end with a smile and a Thank You for visiting and being the parent.

12. Dealing with Difficult People in Sports
Warren Hagman, CMAA
Touro University, NV
Doug Killgore, CMAA –
North Little Rock, AR –