4. Why Are Faith Communities Important?
Address the spiritual nature of individuals
Many women are active in faith communities
Statistics suggest that “pastors” are sought out for help by battered women
Batterers tend to seek spiritual support
Children wrestle with questions of good vs evil
Clergy carry an amount of respect in the community

5. The Churches Response to Domestic Violence and Abuse
The number one place people
Seek help for issues of domestic
Violence and abuse is clergy.
Know you have power to make the
Issue better or worse.

9. CLERGY RESPONSE TO DV- STUDY
26% of the pastors said they normally tell a woman who is being abuse by her husband that she should continue to submit to him “and to trust that God would honor her action by either stopping the abuse or giving her the strength to endure it.”
25% said a lack of submissiveness in the wife is what triggered the violence in the first place.
Mid-80’s Research done by Jim M. Alsdurf graduate Of Fuller Theological Seminary Questions 5,700 Protestant Pastors in the US and Canada: From “10 Lies the Church tells Women” J. Lee Grady

10. CLERGY RESPONSE TO DV- STUDY
The majority of pastors said it is better for a woman to tolerate some level of violence in the home – even though it is ‘not God’s perfect will’ –than to seek separation that might end in divorce.
71% said they would never advise a battered wife to leave her husband or separate because of the abuse.
92% said they would never counsel her to seek divorce.

11. How Does the Faith Community Fit Into This Issue?

12. If a person shuts their ears to the cry of the poor, they too will cry out and not be answered… Proverbs 21:13 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are oppressed, speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the vulnerable/humiliated and needy… Proverbs 31:8-9

13. Definition of Abuse
A pattern of coercive behavior used by one person to control and subordinate another in an intimate relationship. These behaviors include physical, sexual, psychological, and economic abuse. Tactics of coercion, terrorism, degradation, exploitation, and violence are used to engender fear in the victim in order to enforce compliance.

14. Power and Control Wheel
Many people believe that abuse is about social class, race, alcoholism, or drugs. While abusers may try to kill the pain with alcohol or drugs, these only aggravate abuse. All races or social classes abuse. Abuse is an attempt to gain control!

15. Cycle of Abuse
Storm
Tension

16. #1 Controlling and Violent People Use Sacred Texts to Control, Manipulate, and Exploit Others Peaceful People Use Sacred Texts to Treat People With Respect

17. #1 Controlling and Violent People Use Sacred Texts to Control, Manipulate, and Exploit Others Peaceful People Use Sacred Texts to Treat People With Respect and Enhance Themselves and Others

18. God has called us to peace… 1 Corinthians 7:16

19. #2 Sacred Texts Teach that Relationships Involve Mutual Respect, Honor, Value, Love, Mercy, and Compassion

20. Submit to each other out of respect for Christ… Ephesians 5

21. Husbands be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the more vulnerable partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will will hinder your prayers… 1 Peter 3:7

23. Culture and a Family System
Silence
Traumatic bonding
Fear to break through
Sense of justice is not clear
Forgiveness
Marriage and Parenting
Victimization

24. #3 We (Males Especially) Live In A World Where #2 is Seen as Negative

28. Male and Female Behaviors
Girl
Sissy
strong
sexual
independent
tough
passionate
Woman
Wimp

30. Ways Clergy/People of Faith Can Help
Speak Out Against Abusive/Controlling/Manipulative Behavior
Listen to those who come forward
Model Healthy Relationships
Collaborate with Agencies
Repentance is behavior modification
Empathy and Compassion

34. Making Amends “If you are offering your gift at the alter and there remember that your brother/sister has something against you, leave your gift in front of the altar. Go first and be reconciled to them, then come and offer your gift.” Matt 5:23

35. Create Safe Space Listen to vulnerable = A culture of safety
Speak Out… = Preach it!
Stress Repentance

36. Jeff Means, Trauma and Evil
The worst forms of trauma are the “human intentional type,” or trauma perpetrated consciously and intentionally by one human being on another.
Jeff Means, Trauma and Evil

37. Create Safe Space Listen to vulnerable Speak Out Stress Repentance
Confront oppression/oppressors
Address cultural views of misogyny, bullying, oppression
Collaborate with others

38. Resources www. theraveproject. org www. agapecoc
Resources Broken Silence

39. Ron Clark Agape Church of Christ www.agapecoc.com rclark@agapecoc.com