1. An Analysis of Weddings and Our Need to Have Them
A Time To Wed
An Analysis of Weddings and Our Need to Have Them

2. Hail, wedded love, Mysterious law; true source of human happiness
Hail, wedded love, Mysterious law; true source of human happiness. -John Milton
The traditions and customs, the pomp and circumstances, the money that is spent – have weddings become a social event or a sacred bond?

3. History and Origin of Customs and Rituals
Cost related to weddings
Religion and Marriage
Civil Ceremony
Marriage and Civil Union
Women and marriage in the 1800s

4. Customs and Rituals
A discussion of the symbolism represented by different rituals included in a wedding suggest that if rituals are consciously chosen and included in the wedding, there may be an important and lasting effect on the marriage.
-Barbara Jo Chesser

6. Wedding Apparel The Veil Bridal Gown
Symbolizes protected purity-gift wrapping.
Pulling the veil back indicates the brides new status as a wife.
The Tuxedo
Prince of Wales, Grisworld Lorillard
Tuxedo Park in Orange County
This outlandish style caused a new tradition.
Bridal Gown
White is symbolic of virginity.
Queen Victoria was married in white rather than silver which was the color used for royal brides.
Modern idea is that once the gown has been chosen, the rest of the wedding can be planned.

7. Wedding Ring Oldest Symbol Everlasting love
Highest form of trust and power
Romans and Greeks
Worn on left hand as a symbol of submission and obedience
It was believed that a small artery ran from the fourth finger to the artery of the heart
Diamond Ring
Ancient Greeks believed that the fire of a diamond reflected the flame of love, they actually thought them to be teardrops from the gods.
Roman – Diamonds to be splinters from the falling stars that tipped the arrows of Eros.
Puritans –the power of the ring revealed its true superstition and heathen origins, they wanted to ban rings.

8. Bridal Bouquet
During Greek and Roman times only fragrant herbs were used. They were placed in the brides hair to ward off evil spirits.
Victorian times the bouquet replaced the herbs
In Medieval times Knights would wear their “Ladies” colors.

9. Wedding Cake
Roman times the cake was composed of wheat, water and salt.
Wheat was a symbol for fertility
Small loaves of wheat bread were crumbled over the heads of the bride and groom
Considered good luck for guests to take home crumbs from the cake.
Cutting the cake signifies the sharing of lives between the bride and groom.
When guest eat the cake it is to ensure good luck

10. Bridesmaids and Ushers
Roman law
Required ten witness to be present
Bridesmaids and ushers dresses identical to the bride and groom to confuse evil spirits who presumably would then not know who was getting married.
17th Century
The duty of the attendants increased
Undress the bride and groom and saw to the “placing of the couple side by side in bed.”

11. Business of Marriage Fathers used their daughters as currency
Pay off debt to a wealthy land owner
Symbolize a sacrificial, monetary peace offering to an opposing tribe
Buy their way into a higher social strata
A father ‘owned’ his daughter until he had chosen a worthy marriage partner to give her away to.
Roman marriage vows were made between the groom and his father-in-law.
Medieval times
Process of making marriage required elements of ritual expression.
Property rights made valid with the public act of a church wedding
A contract made through marriage was a formal binding contract
In ancient times the kiss was legally binding and signified mutual acceptance of the contract of marriage.

12. 1939 Survey of 154 couples Ring - $2. 50 to $200 Stationary - $16
1939 Survey of 154 couples Ring - $2.50 to $200 Stationary - $16.75 Lowest- $7.00 Highest - $1,927 Average - $ Clergy Judge - 21
Average for 2008 Wedding Planner Ring - $3,000 Stationary - $400 Clergy/Justice of the Peace -$250 Average - $24,000 *This does not include the Rich and Famous weddings

13. Religion and Marriage Catholic Faith
Christian marriage is a communal event
If a marriage is to be blessed, the ceremony needs to be performed in the church
The community agrees to help and support the couple
Begins with a prayer of support from the community
The Chapel is considered a “House of the Lord” and is where the “Blessed Sacrament, the Real Presence of Christ is Reserved”
Have been occasions where a Priest has refused to perform ceremonies out of the Church.

14. Religion and Marriage Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
LDS faith believes in marriage for time and eternity
Marriage is conducted in LDS Temple
Covenant is made between the couple and God
Not a one-time event that guarantees marital success and happiness –only through their continual faithfulness to God’s commandments.
Interview process
Protects those who are found worthy as well as those who are not ready or willing to make important covenants with God.

15. Marriage Counseling
Protestant faiths require marriage counseling before marriage to help the couple prepare for marriage. Marriage counseling is a new and timely aid to help alleviate marital strife

16. Civil Ceremony Many couples choose to be married by a civil servant
Friend or family member
Bride and groom belong to different religions
The pledge and commitment made is no less sacred

17. Definition of Marriage “The state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband and wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law”
Civil Union “The legal status that ensures to same-sex couples specified rights and responsibilities of married couples”

18. Marriage and Civil Union
Difference Marriage is recognized by church and state Marriage is socially accepted. “Marriage is as soluble as sugar is to water.”
Theorist Michel Foucault
“As if in order to gain mastery over it in reality, it had first been necessary to subjugate it at the level of language.”
Concept is that once society applies meaning to a word, it is then that the word has power.

19. Women and Marriage in the Nineteenth Century
Idea of the Spinster took shape in the literature of 1800s
Unattractive
Slightly hysterical
Often unhealthy
Many women of the time chose not to marry and created a major social problem

20. Women and Marriage in the Nineteenth Century
Role of women
Wife
Mother
Caretaker
Spinster
Completely dependant on her family for monetary support
Working class – textiles or domestic work
Genteel class - Governess
Wealthy Families
No benefit to have daughters' marry
Remained celibate to benefit the family
Take over head of household
Found lives fulfilling and satisfying
Older brother served as surrogate husband
Dedicated lives to their family

21. Why Do We Marry?
Marriage is no longer a economic institution but a choice There are some who say that those who are married have good health, both physical as well as mental through the act of marriage. E. J. Graff said that marriage is “the single most important relationship that human beings throughout history have had: the one in which we share our bodies and our lives.”

22. Conclusion
If a wedding is a social spectacle with all of the trimmings or a simple affair with a Judge, the sacred and legal promises and covenants made that day between two people fulfill our need as human beings to share and express our love and commitment for one another.

23. “Marriage is the most natural state of man, and
“Marriage is the most natural state of man, and The state in which you will find solid happiness.”
-Benjamin Franklin