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May 31, 2016 Entry task: What is engagement?
Target: Identify engagement and warning signs.
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Marriage Preparation the Foundation of Marriage!
Engagement
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Seven Predictors of a successful relationship
Dating for at least one year Financial stability Personal stability Parental approval Similar attitudes about birth control and children Similar life goals, religious, and ethnic backgrounds Ability to communicate
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Engaged to Be…. ....married, of course! It goes without saying that engagement is a statement of intention to marry, but there are other, perhaps less obvious, functions of engagement as well???
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Engagement ??? Establish Yourselves as a Couple Spend Time Together
Get to Know Each Other Better Observer Each Other in a Variety of Situations Discover Similarities and Differences Seek Counsel or Advice Arrange for a place to live Plan the Wedding Reconsider the Marriage if Necessary
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Are you Ready for Commitment?
Do You Know Yourself? Expectations Idiosyncrasies Values Goals What Do You Have in Common? Beliefs Dreams Interests Activities Do You Know Your Loved One? Life Plans Priorities Attitudes Habits
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What might Happen to a couple who cannot make this adjustment?
Seeing Double As a single person, you think with your own individual point of view. As a Married Person, you must adjust to being part of a couple. You must think in terms of “we” not just “I”. The challenge is to learn to see things as a couple while maintaining your own individuality at the same time. I want We want I will We will I need We need I wish We wish I should We should I Expect We expect I plan We plan + You I = US What might Happen to a couple who cannot make this adjustment?
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Engagement Warning Signs
A successful engagement is one that either confirms the wish to marry or the fact that marriage would be a mistake. While breaking an engagement is not easy, it is far better than entering a lifetime commitment with serious doubts.
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WARNING This marriage may be Hazardous to your Happiness!
Too much Dependency on one person Great Differences in Values, Goals, Expectations Lack of Family Approval and Support Excesses – Drug, Alcohol, etc. Abusive Behavior Brief Acquaintance Frequent Quarrels or Fights Guilt or Pressure Motivations to Marry Personal History of Frequent Changes (Jobs, Friends, Etc) Under Eighteen or Shows signs of Immaturity
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How much do weddings cost?
$26,951 (*The Knot: $29,800) Honeymoon? $3,600 Engagement ring? $4,630
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Average Cost… Wedding dress: $1,124
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Average Cost Cake: $591
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Average Cost Rings: $6113 bride (includes bride's ring and band) and $468 (for the groom)
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Average Cost Photographer: $2,307
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Average Cost Flowers: $1,971
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Average Cost DJ: $782
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Average Cost Reception: $13,106
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Average Cost Venue: $1,993
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Average Cost Invitations: $368
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Average Cost Catering: $59 per guest X 150 = $8,850
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Average Cost Center pieces: DIY - $273 Hired - $988
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Average Cost Wedding bouquet: $108
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Average Cost Tuxedo: $141
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Average Cost Wedding favors: $281
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Average Cost Bridal party gifts: “Something between $75 and $125 should suffice” 6 bridesmaids 6 groomsmen 12x$75=$900
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Average Cost Hair and makeup: $150
Do you want your bridesmaids and mother? 6 bridesmaids, mother and bride X $150 =$900
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Average Cost Rehearsal dinner (typically paid for by the grooms family): $1,100
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Average Cost Grooms cake: $200
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Average Cost Prenuptial agreement: $780
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So, who pays for this anyway?
Traditionally Brides family pays for ceremony and reception and brunch Grooms family pay for rehearsal dinner Now Bride and groom pay for the event 33% of the time.
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