1. Nurturing Parenting Program
Session 10 – Rewarding Children and Their Behavior; Punishing Children’s Behavior
(C: Discipline)
Facilitator: Alicia
Phone:
Date/Time: Mondays & Wednesdays 1pm-3pm

2. Agenda Session 10 Competencies Welcome and Check In
Rewarding Children and Their Behavior
Consequences
Rewards
Break Time!
Punishments
Discipline
Praise!

3. Session 10 Competencies
1. Parents can discuss the importance of consequences to behavior.
2. Parents can describe the difference between rewards and punishments.
3. Parents can identify the five different types of rewards.
4. Parents can utilize nurturing rewards appropriately.
5. Parents can identify the five different types of punishments.

4. Welcome and Check in
Something that helps me feel better when I am feeling down is _____
Something that I am grateful for today is _____

5. Today’s Focus
Today’s focus will be on rewards and punishments as logical consequences to children’s behaviors. For punishment to be effective the time that you put in (rewards) is really important for time out (punishment) to work.

6. Rewarding Children and Their Behavior
For discipline to have value, consequences must follow as a means of reinforcing the standards or expectations! If
Then
Child’s Behavior
Parent’s Response
FOR EVERY ACTION, THERE IS A REACTION
FOR EVERY REACTION, THERE WAS AN ACTION (these can be based on the family values or morals that we talked about last week)
Responses to behavior are called CONSEQUENCES! (can be positive or negative)

7. What is the function of a consequence?
The primary function of a consequence is to help children learn right from wrong.
A consequence for desirable behavior is called a REWARD  let children know that behavior is desirable and should continue
A consequence for undesirable behavior is called PUNISHMENT  let children know that behavior is undesirable and should be replaced with desirable behavior.
*when there is no consequence, then children are left feeling uncertain; not knowing if their behavior was good or not

8. Benefits of consequences
They help teach children right from wrong (morals)
They help children develop a strong moral code to follow (values).
They help children learn to make good, healthy choices.
They help children feel successful in following the rules and pleasing their parents.

9. Two kinds of consequences
1. NATURAL
Happen all by themselves – no direct planning. Examples? Walking in the rain without umbrella and getting wet
2. LOGICAL
Planned and thought-out. Examples? Time out for misbehavior
Good discipline involves helping children learn right from wrong by providing non-abusive, nurturing logical consequences for appropriate and inappropriate behavior.

10. Rewards What types of rewards did you receive as a child?
What types of rewards do you give to your child?

11. Rewards Two types TANGIBLE INTANGIBLE Tangible rewards are things
Examples?
INTANGIBLE
Intangible rewards are privileges and recognitions
What are the benefits and dangers of only giving children tangible rewards when they do something good?
What are the dangers and benefits of only giving intangible rewards?

12. 5 Types of Rewards PRAISE TOUCH PRIVILEGES OBJECTS ALLOWANCE
Words that recognize a child (being) or their behavior (doing)
TOUCH
Gentle touch like massages, hugs, back rubs
PRIVILEGES
Bonuses awarded for desirable behavior such as staying up past bedtime, extra play time, etc.
OBJECTS
Toys, stickers, paints
ALLOWANCE
A logical reward for tasks completed. The functional purpose of allowance is to teach money management.

13. *Important note*
For punishments of any kind to be effective, quality parent-child time, founded on trust, good times, and positive recognition must exist.

14. Break time
10 minutes
Smoke 100 feet away
Keep it down 

15. Punishing Children’s Behavior
Teaching goal: to assist in implementing positive system of discipline
What kinds of punishments did you receive as a child and what types of punishments do you give to your child?

16. Logical Consequences as punishments
Important to note age-appropriateness of each strategy and technique. Babies should never be punished!
1. Loss of Privilege
Appropriate for children 2.5 years and older. Privilege is right granted by parent or family. Example? Toy taken away when it is misused (thrown, broken, etc.)
2. Being Grounded
Appropriate for children 2.5 years and older. Example: when a child repeatedly leaves a yard or an area purposefully, without permission, an appropriate logical consequence as a punishment is being grounded to the house for a period of time. Child must know it isn’t appropriate to leave the yard before “being grounded” can be used as a form of punishment.
3. Restitution
3-4 years and older. Paying for some misdeed either with money or extra chores. Effective only if child has means of income like an allowance or job. If they don’t have a job then chores can be appropriate. Example: child leaves baseball bat in driveway, has to do extra chore. Other examples?
4. Parental Disappointment
3-4 years or older. Parental disappointment is simple statement. Intent is to build awareness in child of parent’s disappointment. Example: “Son, I want you to know how disappointment I am that you chose to hit your brother. I’m sure the next time you’re upset you won’t hit your brother and you will tell him not to take your toys. But right now I feel very disappointed in your behavior. Depending on severity of action, statement can be followed by grounding or having time-out.
5. Time Out
3-10 years of age. Time-out is systematic removal of a child to a quiet area.

17. 12 Rules of Discipline
Rule 1: Help children learn appropriate behavior by involving them in direct experiences. Rule 2: All behaviors need consequences. Rule 3: What you pay attention to is what you get more of. Rule 4: Punishments are used to help children change inappropriate behavior. Rule 5: Punishments are never used to abuse. Rule 6: Time-out will only work if time-in is quality time. Rule 7: Time-out should be used sparingly. Rule 8: Punishment must fit the crime. Rule 9: Punishments must be meaningful and quick. Rule 10: If you misuse, you lose it. Rule 11: If you break it, you pay for it. Rule 12: Never punish babies!

18. Common Misunderstandings
If I pay attention to the good things my kid is doing, he’ll start acting up.
If you notice and encourage appropriate behavior, you will see it more because children learn this is how to get your attention (positively).
Kids get spoiled by too much attention.
There is no proof, scientific or otherwise, that a child can be given too much positive attention. However, this is information that supports the concept that if children aren’t given enough positive attention, they’ll continue to seek more attention through negative behavior.
She’s going to think she should be praised every time she does something.
Children want our attention. Positive attention teaches children that how they behave is important to us.
Kids should just help out around the house because they’re part of the family.
Children should learn that being part of a family requires that everyone contribute, but it doesn’t hurt to be recognized for these efforts. It feels good to all of us to have our efforts appreciated rather than just expected.
Things get done more quickly if I do them myself.
The younger the child, the more this is true. But you will have missed an opportunity to encourage and teach your child. This does not encourage autonomy.

19. Praise Yourself Praise Someone else
You know the routine!