1. Communicating IN Stressful SITUATIONS
Kathleen Roebuck, FATV
9/16/2018
2016 GASFAA Conference

2. Communicating in Stressful Situations
Today’s Objectives
Discuss effects of stress on assimilating information
Identify methods of effective communication
Review techniques for dealing with stressful communications
Delve into financial aid case scenarios using these methods
Review agenda above

3. Ability To Retain Info When Stressed
Communicating in Stressful Situations
Ability To Retain Info When Stressed
Stress and mental noise can reduce the ability to process information by up to 80%.
When people are stressed, they…
tend to remember most what they hear first and last
understand information at 4 grade levels below their educational level
actively look for visual/graphic information to support verbal messages
Need 3-4 positives to overcome 1 negative
Dr. Vincent Covello, a behavioral, neuro and visual scientist – has studied extensively stress to help people and organizations improve communications
His research as well as others points out that typically people who are stressed have difficulty hearing, understanding and remembering information.
Stress & Mental noise – that is the constant chatter of the mind that never stops – reduce the ability for people to listen, understand, and apply information.
Dr. Vincent Covello as reported by Forbes on 10/03/2013

4. Effective Communication Skills
Communicating in Stressful Situations
Effective Communication Skills
Listening
Nonverbal communication
Managing one’s own stress
Emotional awareness
Effective communication is not only about the exchange of information; it's also about understanding the emotion behind the information
Using effective communication, you can communicate negative or difficult messages without creating conflict or destroying trust.
Effective communication combines a set of skills including nonverbal communication, attentive listening, the ability to manage stress in the moment, and the capacity to recognize and understand your own emotions and those of the person you’re communicating with.
Listening – this is not just about hearing. It’s your ability to absorb information and then reuse it.
Focus fully on the speaker, but be relaxed
Wait for the speaker to pause to ask clarifying questions & only to ensure understanding.
Empathize for speaker
Nonverbal communication – by paying attention to eye contact, gestures, posture, body movements, and tone of voice – it can help you effectively be heard
Concentrate on Your Tone of Voice When Speaking
Maintaining good eye contact
keeping hands above the waist and visible
body posture that signals that the speaker is listening such as standing straight or leaning slightly toward the audience while sitting.
Managing one’s own stress – communications go both ways. Understanding where you are at helps you communicate better.
Recognize when you’re becoming stressed & take a moment to calm down
Look for humor in the situation
Be willing to compromise.
Agree to disagree, if necessary
Emotional awareness – This is about using verbal and nonverbal queues to interpret others as well as yours
Learn how to identify emotions in others
Monitor your own emotional responses
Lawrence Robinson, Jeanne Segal, Ph. D., and Robert Segal, February 2014.

5. Communicating in Stressful Situations
Trust
They want to know that you care before they care what you know. 
Caring = 50% trust determination  
Judged in the first 30 seconds
75% of information about trust is communicated nonverbally.
Trust
Listening/Caring
Competence/Expertise
Honesty/Transparency
Trust is key to how people receive information, especially in stressful situations. To establish quickly, show you care.
Half of people’s assessment of trust is based on if they think you care.
They don’t give you a lot of time to determine – 30 seconds. once assessed, people are highly resistant to change. 
Caring = 50% trust determination.
Judged in the first 30 seconds; once assessed, people are highly resistant to change. 
So how can you establish in so little time? Nonverbal communication is key.

6. The good news is that you can easily establish your expertise just based on your position in the financial aid office. That can get you 20% on the way.
So we will explore ways both verbally & nonverbally you can establish caring/listening and Honesty/Transparency

7. Communicating in Stressful Situations
Bridging Statements
Before we continue, let me take a step back and repeat that...
With this in mind, if we look at the bigger picture...
If we take a broader perspective, ..
What all this information tells me is...
Let me put all this in perspective by saying...
When you speak to people who are stressed consider using statements such as the following to return to the key points or to redirect
the communication when the discussion moves off course.

8. Scenario 1: Loans are Not Financial Aid
Communicating in Stressful Situations
Scenario 1: Loans are Not Financial Aid
Some student and their families don’t think loans are financial aid. They are upset because they interpret that the school is not awarding them enough financial aid because to them – financial aid is synonymous with free money. We need to educate and raise their awareness beyond their current thinking.
Can I have a volunteer from the audience to play the student so we can test out a bridging statement?

9. Scenario 1: Loans are Not Financial Aid
Communicating in Stressful Situations
Scenario 1: Loans are Not Financial Aid
Response: If we look at the big picture, loans help you to bridge the gap between your grants, work-study, and what you and your family can afford out of pocket. The federal loan programs have low interest rates. No payments are required while you are in school and most often the government actually pays the interest until the student graduates.
Perhaps you can also add information about loan forgiveness if you think it’s appropriate to your audience.

10. Communicating in Stressful Situations
27.9.3
27 words (total of 27 words for all three key messages, with each key message averaging 9 words in length)
9 seconds
3 messages
Often times both print and televised media is limited to space and time and can only provide the sound bite.
We can use this when communicating with students. There is chance if you provide too much info in writing that it will be edited and effect the tone or accuracy of your messages or if given too little information that the person might fill with additional text.
This can work verbally as well.

11. Scenario 2: SAP Notification
Communicating in Stressful Situations
Scenario 2: SAP Notification
Raise your hand if anyone has had a student in their office upset about SAP? I’ve seen the tears and anger.
How about trying the technique to response clearly and concisely?
Can I have a volunteer from the audience to play the student so we can test out a technique?

12. Scenario 2: SAP Notification
Communicating in Stressful Situations
Scenario 2: SAP Notification
Response: You have not met the SAP guidelines. You have two options – complete the SAP appeal process to reestablish eligibility or pay for next semester out of pocket.
Be prepared to go into more detail. But remember, starting out with a brief statement with only 3 messages may help the student understand.

13. Compassion, Conviction And Optimism (CCO)
Communicating in Stressful Situations
Compassion, Conviction And Optimism (CCO)
Use when asked a question with high-emotion
Compassion
Conviction
Optimism
Examples:
I am very sorry to hear about...
I believe that...
In the future, I believe that …
Using the CCO template of Compassion, Conviction and Optimism can make the difference between an understanding student and an angry student.
Don’t inundate them with regulations and verbatim rules... tell them you care about their situation, that you will help them understand their options and/or get to the root of the problem, and that, if applicable, the circumstance does not happen again.

14. Scenario 3: Loss of Job Communicating in Stressful Situations
Can I have a volunteer from the audience to play the student so we can test out a CCO technique?
So often people who are upset leap to exit strategies. To help them, we need to show empathy, faith that we can help , and a commitment that the situation can be overcome. The CCO Technique can work nicely into situations like this one where the person just leaps to the worst case scenario.

15. Communicating in Stressful Situations
Scenario 3: Loss of Job
Response: I am so sorry to hear about your dad’s job loss. Before you consider leaving school, can I walk you through an appeal process to explain your change in situation so we can consider your family’s change in income to consider awarding more financial aid? Our office has helped other students with like circumstances to award more financial aid to keep them in school.

16. I Don’t Know Template Repeat the question the person asked
Communicating in Stressful Situations
I Don’t Know Template
Repeat the question the person asked
Say you don’t know/can’t answer/wish you could answer*
Give the reason(s) why you don’t know or can’t answer*
Indicate follow up with deadline*
Bridge to what you can say, such as overarching message
The I Don’t Know Template is much like it sounds. Use this technique when asked a question you do not know the answer to or can not comment on at the moment, possibly because you are not the expert or not the responsible party.
What I like about this technique is that you can say you don’t know, without saying you don’t know” - EX: “I wish I could answer that” or “I wish I knew.”

17. Scenario 4: No VA Benefits Yet
Communicating in Stressful Situations
Communicating in Stressful Situations
Scenario 4: No VA Benefits Yet
I think we all have run into situations where a student is asking us a question but there is no way that we can gather the information for them on the spot. This is when the “I don’t know” technique is best.
Can I have a volunteer to be the student?

18. Scenario 4: No VA Benefits Yet
Communicating in Stressful Situations
Scenario 4: No VA Benefits Yet
Response: Sounds like you are asking about when your VA benefits will be disbursed this semester. I wish I could answer this on the spot, but we need to check with the Registrar’s Office to confirm the enrollment certification has been sent. Since their office is closed for a staff meeting currently, I will contact you via this afternoon.

19. False Allegation Template
Communicating in Stressful Situations
False Allegation Template
Use when responding to a hostile question, false allegation, or criticism
Paraphrase the question without repeating the negative
Use neutral language
Demonstrates the underlying value
Indicate that the issue is important if possible
Indicate what you have done, are doing, or will do to address the issue
Examples:
You’ve raised a serious question about “x”...
“x” is important to me...
We have done the following to address “x”.
These are hard ones. Often when the student is expressing them to you, they can make you upset or want to be defensive.
Instead turn it around. Don’t repeat the allegation. It may just help to keep the stress levels high for them and you.
Repeat using neutral language and show underlying value – the why
If possible, let them know that you recognize the issue to be important to the person or your office if applicable
Confirm what you have done, are doing, or will do to address the issue. In fact, if you can tell them 3 facts that indicate what you have, are, or will do to overcome the allegation

20. Scenario 5: Change in Aid
Communicating in Stressful Situations
Scenario 5: Change in Aid
We don’t just talk to students. Let’s run through a scenario of a parent communication with a change in aid between years
I think we have all dealt with a version of the “change in aid” scenario. Sometimes it could be a parent, other times the student him/herself.
So often in these situations, the person who is upset. To them the situation is not logical and they may not remember any of the history. They often use untrue claims to boost their position.
This is a good time to use the “false allegation” technique. Another volunteer?

21. Scenario 5: Change in aid
Communicating in Stressful Situations
Scenario 5: Change in aid
Response: I understand you are concerned about the amount of financial aid your student receives. At our college, we value every student, including your child. When we reviewed your financial aid last year, we used estimated year income because you were not working at the time. This created eligibility for the Federal Pell Grant, FSEOG, and FWS. Since you have reported a new income, we are now using your current income. I would be happy to discuss your financing options if you like.
Remember this response is needed to :
Use neutral language
Recognize the importance of their concern
Remind the person what has been, is being or will be done.

22. Practice Makes Perfect
Communicating in Stressful Situations
Practice Makes Perfect
FATV encourages you to practice these techniques
Find a partner to practice on
Review this student statement.
Decide what technique you might use, formulate your response, and share with your partner
Gather improvement feedback from your partner
Whether someone attended this session with you or not, we suggest finding a partner to practice. To make this easy, we will be sending all attendees the list of examples student or parent statements used in the session, along with a few more to practice with.
Ask a colleague, you significant other, or friend to help you out. It can be a lot of fun

23. Handout Communications Template
Communicating in Stressful Situations
Handout Communications Template
We will be sending you a Communications template with all the techniques we discussed today PLUS a few more!

24. ANY COMMENTS OR QUESTIONS?
Kathleen Roebuck
9/16/2018
2016 GASFAA Conference