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Whittle Consulting Group, LLC
CONFLICT RESOLUTION for the lead worker Paris Boehm Doug D. Whittle Whittle Consulting Group, LLC
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Today’s objectives: Conflict Resolution Examine Review types & sources
of workplace conflict Apply conflict resolution models & approaches through practice Examine different ways to address & resolve conflict Conflict Resolution
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in order to improve your your skills in managing & resolving conflict
At the end of the day… To better know & understand yourself and others in order to improve your your skills in managing & resolving conflict
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T ruths There is no silver bullet One size does not fit all
Managing your behaviors and reactions…both a skill and an art Practice makes perfect
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You must agree… You can not control others You can control yourself
You accept responsibility for your actions, reactions, decisions, and emotions You share responsibility for the success of your team
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Power? Authority?
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When you think you are powerful, you are. When others think you are powerful, you are.
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POWERFUL powerless 8. Lead & Make It Happen 7. Find Solutions
6. “Own It” 5. Acknowledge Reality 4. Wait & Hope 3. “I can’t” - Excuses 2. Blame Others 1. Unaware / Unconscious powerless
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? Do you take risks
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If you do or if you don’t… either way, it’s risky business
What’s the risk of acting? What do you risk if you address the conflict? What’s the risk of NOT acting? What do you risk if you DON’T address the conflict?
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If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got.
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Aim Fire Fire Aim Ready Ready
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When conflict gets out of hand…
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Speak when you are angry…
and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Ambrose Bierce
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Models & Tools
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YES Desired Current State State No
Frequently, there is some type of barrier between the current and desired states…think of this as a stone wall…think of it as resistance… What are the possible ways to negotiate the barrier…the stone wall? To get from NO to YES Cut straight through it. Go over, under, around it Ignore it Take it seriously, but test it Find a crack in the wall… While we’d all like to take the straightforward and easy way, in the real world of emotions, politics, culture, you need to take the indirect route…particularly if you are not in a position of power. Remember the wind & sails analogy: in sailing you rarely ever get to your destination by heading straight for it. To get where you want to go, you need to tack—zigzag your way toward your destination. Throughout the workshop, we will be looking for ways to break through the barriers, both visible and invisible.
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YES Desired Desired Current State State State No
Frequently, there is some type of barrier between the current and desired states…think of this as a stone wall…think of it as resistance… What are the possible ways to negotiate the barrier…the stone wall? To get from NO to YES Cut straight through it. Go over, under, around it Ignore it Take it seriously, but test it Find a crack in the wall… While we’d all like to take the straightforward and easy way, in the real world of emotions, politics, culture, you need to take the indirect route…particularly if you are not in a position of power. Remember the wind & sails analogy: in sailing you rarely ever get to your destination by heading straight for it. To get where you want to go, you need to tack—zigzag your way toward your destination. Throughout the workshop, we will be looking for ways to break through the barriers, both visible and invisible.
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ORGANIZATIONAL CULTURE
GROUP BEHAVIOR Difficulty (Low) (High) INDIVIDUAL BEHAVIORS INDIVIDUAL ATTITUDES KNOWLEDGE Time involved (Short) (Long)
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Benefitsof managing conflict
Better motivated staff Staff energies directed toward work, not emotions More positive image of organization, team Improved teamwork Better personal development of individuals 2
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Benefitsof managing conflict
More, better ideas Increased creativity & innovation Increased self-respect Increased synergy 2
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Drawbacks of ignoring conflict
Lower morale Climate of mistrust, suspicion, hostility created Escalation & spread of conflict to others Dissipation of staff energy Misdirection of staff energy Reduced productivity Misperception that inaction is the easiest option—the problem will ultimately be harder to solve 2
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5 ways to deal with conflict 2 Avoidance Competition Collaboration
Compromise Avoidance Competition Accommodation 2
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Avoidance Withdraw Deny 2
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Maintains surface harmony Can result in feelings of
Accommodation 2 Minimizes, suppresses differences Maintains surface harmony Can result in feelings of powerlessness, frustration
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Competition Focuses on defeating other side 2
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Multiple options, solutions Use to build consensus
Compromise Each party gives up something Trade-offs Multiple options, solutions Use to build consensus 2
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expertise, perceptions of both parties recognized & valued
Collaboration Experience, expertise, perceptions of both parties recognized & valued Alternatives discussed openly Decisions made in broader context: What’s best for team, department, company 2
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Conflict Management Process
1. Recognize that a conflict exists 2. Monitor the climate 3. Examine, summarize the situation 4. Plan your approach 5. Address the issue 6. Involve & engage the stakeholders 7. Identify a forward path 8. Appraise, don’t dwell 3
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Conflict Management process
Recognize that a conflict exists 1. Overt vs. covert Visible vs. hidden Obvious vs. subtle 3
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Trip my TRIGGER 3
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Conflict management process
Monitor the climate 2. Keep eyes open Don’t ignore Early warning system 3
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To monitor conflict… Know yourself Know others Adapt and Connect
Do unto others as THEY would be done unto
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Who are YOU? questioning deliberate precise formal caring patient
sharing encouraging dynamic sociable persuasive enthusiastic strong-willed competitive demanding determined Who are YOU?
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Who is HE/SHE? questioning deliberate precise formal caring patient
sharing encouraging dynamic sociable persuasive enthusiastic strong-willed competitive demanding determined Who is HE/SHE?
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Conflict management process
Examine, summarize the situation 3. WHAT is the actual issue? WHAT is the root cause? WHAT are potential and actual impacts? Avoid snap judgments. Be empathetic 3
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CONFLICT = STRESS
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Demonstrated Behaviors
questioning deliberate cautious precise formal strong-willed competitive demanding determined purposeful Demonstrated Behaviors caring patient sharing relaxed encouraging sociable dynamic persuasive enthusiastic demonstrative
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…on a bad day suspicious indecisive reserved stuffy cold overbearing
aggressive controlling intolerant driving …on a bad day bland docile reliant stubborn plodding hasty frantic excitable indiscreet flamboyant
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Stress Cause Stress Remedy
poor quality, time wasted, lack of structure First Response impatient aggressive irritable demanding Flipped Out withdrawn helpless offended misunderstood time out, fast action, place in control Stress Remedy
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Stress Cause Stress Remedy
rejection, restricted flexibility, no fun First Response hasty scream indiscretion throw things Flipped Out ice cold mission to kill no emotion detached save face, outside the box, distraction Stress Remedy
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Stress Cause Stress Remedy
value violation, interruptions, unfair treatment First Response self doubt hurt feelings rumination stubborn Flipped Out very critical vicious destructive nasty sincerity, personal contact, trust restoration Stress Remedy
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Stress Cause Stress Remedy
lack of focus, indecisiveness, out of control First Response withdraw split hairs hesitate go quietly Flipped Out lose control cry get loud get emotional information, build a path forward, analysis Stress Remedy
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Conflict management process
Plan your approach 4. Build climate of open exchange Avoid taking sides Identify preferred outcome(s) Build your BATNA Build your strategy 3
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Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.
Daniele Vare, Italian diplomat
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Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement
4 Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement
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BATNA Aspire To Content With Live With
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Conflict management process
Address the issue 5. Maintain control Consider a time out Take time to consider all points of view Listen & hear 4
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critical elements of communications Talking Points Timing Channels
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2-3 Talking Points
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Timing Setting Level of formality Preparation Process time
Decision & commitment Timing
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Oral: In person Oral: Distance Electronic Print Grapevine Channels
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People don’t resist change… …they resist being changed Edgar Schein
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RESISTANCE Reasons for I don’t get it! I don’t like it! I don’t like
you! I don’t like it! RESISTANCE
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Barriers to agreement Barriers Others See 4 Not their idea
Fear of losing face Too much too fast Unmet interest 4
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Helping others through
A N C Involve the other side Ask for and build on their ideas Ask for constructive criticism How might we...? Offer choices and alternatives Not my Idea! 4
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Helping others through
A N C Walk in their shoes Would I agree to this if I were them? Why? Why not? Review basic human needs Look for intangible motivations that drive their behavior Look for low cost, high benefit trades If-then bargains Unmet interests 4
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Helping others through
A N C Help them back away without backing down Show how circumstances have changed Ask for third-party recommendation Provide testimonials Share credit Give them the limelight Fear of losing face 4
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Helping others through
A N C Go slow to go fast Pilot project Don’t ask for final commitment until the end Don’t rush to the finish Caution: avoid verbal contracts Too much, too fast 4
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Commitment Denial Resistance Exploration Anger Checking Out
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Two ways to QUIT and LEAVE QUIT and STAY QUIT!
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Conflict management process
Involve and engage stakeholders 6. Recognize all parties’ alternatives Emphasize communication Work to improve relationships Be nondiscriminatory and compatible with organization’s preferred practices Generate a lasting commitment to the solution 4
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! It’s all about stakeholders
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You have more than one! STAKEHOLDERS
Anyone with a vested interest in the outcome of your mission & initiatives Interest groups to whom your organization is accountable You have more than one!
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Who’s who? Identifying the needs What do I need from them? Who are my
key stakeholders? What do they need from me? Identifying the needs
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Mapping your stakeholders
Who’s who? Who do they influence? Where do they currently stand? Who influences them? Mapping your stakeholders
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Coaching point out that the blue space between the yellow and red is where the "translation" occurs. IT should represent whatever YOUR organization is
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Helping people to learn rather than teaching them
Unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance COACHING Helping people to learn rather than teaching them
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COACHING Principles of A skillful coach It may be rarely provides
or prescribes solutions Coaching focuses on future possibilities not past mistakes It may be harder to give up instructing than it is to learn to coach COACHING
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Perhaps the hardest thing a coach has to learn is to
SHUT UP!
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Questions for effective coaching
OALS What do you want? R EALITY What is happening now? O PTIONS What could you do? ILL W What will you do? 7
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Conflict management process
Identify a forward path 7. Examine options Explore compromise Identify acceptable path forward Obtain commitment from all parties ARCI 4
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A ccountable R esponsible C onsult I nform
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Conflict management process
Appraise, don’t dwell 8. Post-mortem Lessons learned Continuous improvement 4
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Conflict management process
Appraisal questions to ask 8. What did you gain or lose for now? What will you gain or lose in the future? What did the other person gain or lose? What will the other person gain or lose in the future? How do you feel about this outcome? What would you do differently the next time? 4
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Conduct autopsies, without blame. Good to Great p77
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Stop Continue Start 8
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PARTNERSHIPS RELATIONSHIPS With whom do I need to build strong
minimize association? RELATIONSHIPS
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is one of the simplest ways to
Saying thanks is one of the simplest ways to build relationships Office Politics for the Utterly Confused (Salmon & Salmon)
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words of wisdom C.W. Metcalf
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uncomfortable becomes unbearable (even when you are tempted)
Save energy for the battles that count Know when uncomfortable becomes unbearable Don’t burn bridges (even when you are tempted)
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Overcome terminal professionalism
Take yourself lightly and your job seriously Understand that you are not the center of the universe
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Do something for the fun of it Find absurdity in adversity
Expect the best Find absurdity in adversity
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THANK YOU!!! WHITTLE CONSULTING GROUP Paris Boehm, Associate
Paris Boehm, Associate THANK YOU!!!
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