1. Writing Good Essays (looking at your writing through someone else’s eyes)

2. When you write something, do you ever stop to think about how other people will look at it?

3. Good essay writing is: 4. organized 5. spicy 1. colorful 2. correct
3. complete
4. organized
5. spicy
6. beautiful

4. Rule # : Writing should be colorful
You make your writing more colorful by using
new and more difficult vocabulary
Remember, that words are like colors --- they
can be similar but also different
walk / run / stroll / crawl / march / hike / limp

5. Q: When you shop, what kinds of clothes do you usually buy. White
Q: When you shop, what kinds of clothes do you usually buy? White? Black? Grey? Tan?

6. No, you probably like colorful things ……

7. Which room is more interesting?
This one?
Or this one?

8. Why not use a variety of vocabulary to make it more colorful?
When you use the same old vocabulary again and again, your writing is kind of like this bedroom ……
Why not use a variety of vocabulary to make it more colorful?

9. Your fingerprints are unique
Your irises are unique
That means YOU are unique, so your writing should be, too.
Using new and different vocabulary makes your writing unique.
Different is good!

10. Rule # : Writing should be correct Make sure you are answering exactly what the topic asked you for. Read the directions carefully and follow them!

11. When you go to a restaurant ….
Q: What will you do if the waitress brings
you the wrong order?
Are you going to eat it, or are you going to send it back
to get what you really wanted?

12. “Enjoy your fish.”
“Fish? I ordered PIZZA!
I want PIZZA!”

13. Q: When you go to the tailor or a shop to pick up your wedding dress, how will you feel if they give you this?

14. Q: When you go the salon to get your hair done for a party or special occasion, how will you feel if they style your hair like this?

15. Of course, you expect to get exactly what you asked for
Of course, you expect to get exactly what you asked for. Anything less is unacceptable! You would surely agree that following directions and doing things correctly is important. Teachers, just like you, should receive exactly what they ask you for on your assignments.

16. Rule #. : Writing should be complete “Welcome to Sunshine Restaurant
Rule # : Writing should be complete “Welcome to Sunshine Restaurant. Enjoy your meal.” salad main dish dessert

17. You’re still hungry? Have some coffee ….

18. Q: When you buy perfume, how will you feel when you open the box and find this? Or this?

19. When you go to a restaurant, you expect a complete dinner
When you go to a restaurant, you expect a complete dinner. When you buy perfume, you expect a full bottle. Teachers , like you, want the complete package. When you write an essay, give lots of details and examples.

20. Rule # : A good essay is organized Q: What do a doctor, a mechanic, and a teacher all have in common? A: Hmmm, let’s see ……

21. “I’m a mechanic …..
so I look for certain things in certain places.”

22. “If I want to check the engine, I don’t look inside of the car!”

23. “If I want to check the oil, I don’t look at the tires!”

24. “ I’m a doctor, and when I check someone’s blood pressure … I don’t look at his feet!”

25. Doctors, like mechanics, look for certain things in certain places
“I look for the heart in the chest, not on top of the head!”

26. So do teachers … “I’m looking for an introduction with
a main idea in it.”

27. “To find the details, I look at the body paragraphs.”

28. “When I look at a conclusion, I expect to find a restatement of the main idea.”

29. If your essay is organized, then everything is in the right place
} introduction
body {
} conclusion

30. The “canned essay” …… ???
ESSAY
ESSAY

31. Body Body Conclusion 1-2 general sentences Introduction
specific main idea
topic sentence
Body
detail sentences
topic sentence
Body
detail sentences
restatement of main idea
Conclusion
1-2 general closing
comments

32. or Too formulaic, boring, and unimaginative?
A useful scaffold upon which students can build a good solid essay?

33. Rule # : A good essay is “spicy ”
it has simple sentences
it has compound sentences
it has complex sentences

34. Do your essays have only simple 4-5 word “baby” sentences?
My name is Mariam.
I live in Al Ain.
I have a big family.
We live in Zakher.
My major is Business.
I enjoy shopping.

35. Spice it up by using connectors
My name is Mariam, and I live in Al Ain.
Because I have a big family, we have a large villa
in Zakher. I want to have my own company, so
my major is Business. On the weekends, I spend
time with my family. In addition, I enjoy
shopping with friends.

36. Remember, people like to eat food that is spicy

37. people like food that has flavor

38. food without spices and flavor is boring!

39. You also should use “spices” and “flavor” in your writing simple compound complex

40. Here are some “spices” you can add to your writing: moreover. until
Here are some “spices” you can add to your writing: moreover until yet in contrast because however although therefore if as a result before so

41. Rule # : A good essay is beautiful
the handwriting is not too small
the handwriting is dark
the handwriting is easy-to-ready

42. Is your handwriting messy?

43. Is it too light to read easily?

44. Is your handwriting so tiny that no one can read it
Is your handwriting so tiny that no one can read it? (so tiny that no one can read it?) Do people need special equipment to read your handwriting? !

45. Remember! Like you, teachers like to look at attractive things.

46. … so your handwriting should be beautiful!

47. sloppy appearance = (often) sloppy content effort with appearance =
sloppy appearance = (often) sloppy content effort with appearance = (often) effort with content

48. To sum up: To sum up, a good essay is: 1. colorful 2. correct 3
To sum up: To sum up, a good essay is: 1. colorful 2. correct 3. complete 4. organized 5. spicy 6. beautiful

49. Common Writing Problems

50. Problem: Are your sentences like spaghetti (too long and stringy?)

51. On the weekend I like to spend time with my family, and we go to the desert or sometimes I go with my friend Mariam to the shopping mall because it’s fun there, and my favorite mall is Dubai Mall because it has a huge cinema, aquarium, Burj Khalifa and lots of other stores.

52. Solution: add some punctuation On the weekend I like to spend time with my family, and we go to the desert. Sometimes I go with my friend Mariam to the shopping mall because it’s fun there. My favorite mall is Dubai Mall because it has a huge cinema, aquarium, Burj Khalifa and lots of other stores.

53. Problem: Are your sentences like chopped onions (too short?)

54. My name is Noof. I’m from Sharjah. I have 10 brothers and sisters
My name is Noof. I’m from Sharjah. I have 10 brothers and sisters. We have a big villa. I like computers. My major is I.T.

55. Solution: combine some of your sentences My name is Noof, and I’m from Sharjah. I have 10 brothers and sisters, so we have a big villa. Because I like computers, my major is I.T.

56. Problem: Are your sentences too “salty” (because you repeat the same vocabulary?)

57. I like to go to Al Ain Mall because it’s near my home
I like to go to Al Ain Mall because it’s near my home. My favorite restaurant is Hatim because I like the food there. I shop at Paris Gallery because it has all my favorite perfumes. I also like to go there because of the games area and the cinema has good movies.

58. Solution: use synonyms I like to go to Al Ain Mall because it’s near my home. My favorite restaurant is Hatim since I like the food there. I shop at Paris Gallery as it has all my favorite perfumes. Another reason I like to go there is for the games area, and the cinema has good movies.

59. Problem: Are your sentences like cars that have crashed into each other (without periods at the end?)

60. Samira’s schedule is busy, first she wakes up at 6:30 and eats breakfast, then she goes to the university, after that she has English class at 8:00, next she takes Math at 10:00, then from 12:00 to 1:00 she has a break. (1 full stop)

61. Solution: add some punctuation
Samira’s schedule is busy. First she wakes up at 6:30 and eats breakfast, and then she goes to the university. After she has English class at 8:00, she goes to Math at 10:00. Then, from 12:00 to 1:00 she has a break.
(4 full stops.)

62. Problem: Are your paragraphs empty like a desert (with too few details

63. My bedroom is my favorite room. It is pink and. It’s quiet
My bedroom is my favorite room. It is pink and. It’s quiet. I like to sit in there with my sister. I can do what I want there.

64. Solution: add details My bedroom is my favorite room
Solution: add details My bedroom is my favorite room. The walls are pink, and the carpet is white. My bed has a pink cover with lots of white pillows. The curtains are also pink. There’s a large window, so I can see our garden. Some family pictures are on the walls. Beside my bed there’s a table with a lamp. Also, I have a desk and large wardrobe. This room is quiet, so I can study or read there. My sister likes to sit with me in my bedroom, and we can do what we want.

65. Now your desert is a garden!