1. Chapter 8 Communication
Describe the interpersonal communication process and the role of listening in the process.
Describe the five communication skills of effective supervisors.
Explain five communication barriers and the gateways through them.
Distinguish between defensive and nondefensive communication.
Explain the impact of nonverbal communication.
Explain positive, healthy communication.
Identify communication technologies and how they affect the communication process.
Learning Outcomes
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Learning Outcome 1
Describe the interpersonal communication process and the role of listening in the process.
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Terms to Know
Communication – the evoking of a shared or common meaning in another person
Interpersonal Communication – communication between two or more people in an organization
Communicator – the person sending the message
Receiver – the person receiving a message
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Terms to Know
Perceptual Screen – windows through which we interact; allows the message to transmit smoothly, or they can cause distinction
Message – the thoughts and feelings that the communicator intends to evoke in the receiver
Feedback– occurs when information is fed back to the sender that completes two-way communication
Language – the words, their pronunciation, and the methods of combining them used and understood by a group of people
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Terms to Know
Data – uninterpreted and unanalyzed elements of a message
Information – data with meaning to the person who interprets or analyzes them
Richness – the ability of a medium to convey meaning to a receiver
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6. Basic Interpersonal Communication Model
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7. Information Richness & Data Capacity
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8. This complex process needs to be divided to be understood
Reflective Listening
the skill of listening carefully to another
person and repeating it back to the speaker
This complex process needs to be divided to be understood
What I heard you say was we will understand the process better if we break it into steps
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Reflective Listening
Helps communicator clarify intended message and correct misunderstandings
Emphasizes role of the receiver
Especially useful in problem solving.
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10. Emphases of Reflective Listening
The personal elements of the communication process
The feelings communicated in the message
Rational and considerate response
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11. Reflect “core” feelings
REFLECTIVE LISTENING
Affirm Contact
Communicates attentiveness
Provides reassurance in expressing thoughts and feelings
Paraphrase
Reflects back to speaker what has been heard; assures accuracy
Builds empathy, openness, acceptance
VERBAL
Clarify the Implicit
Bring out unspoken (but evident) thoughts and feelings
Builds greater awareness
Reflect “core” feelings
Restate important thoughts and feelings
Exercise caution; danger of overreaching
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REFLECTIVE LISTENING
Silence
Listener:
Sort out thoughts and feelings
Identify and isolate personal responses
Speaker:
Useful for thinking
Determine how to express difficult ideas or feelings
Eye Contact
Useful to open a relationship
Improves communication
Be aware of cultural differences
Use moderate eye contact
Use times of no eye contact for privacy and control
NONVERBAL
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13. Beyond the Book: Listen Up!
Ways to improve your reflective listening skills:
Stop talking
Put the speaker at ease
Show the speaker you want to listen
Remove distractions
Empathize with the speaker
Be patient
Hold your temper
Go easy on criticism
Ask questions, paraphrase, and clarify
Stop talking! Be sure the speaker has finished before you talk.
SOURCE: From “Steps to Better Listening” by C. Hamilton and
B. H. Kleiner. Copyright © February Reprinted with permission,
Personnel Journal, all rights reserved.
SOURCE: J. Sandberg, “Bad at Complying? You Might Just Be a Very Bad Listener,” The Wall Street Journal Online (26 September 2007). Available at
Are You an Active Listener?
Reflective listening is a skill that you can practice and
learn. Here are ten tips to help you become a better
listener.
1. Stop talking. You cannot listen if your mouth is
moving.
2. Put the speaker at ease. Break the ice to help the
speaker relax. Smile!
3. Show the speaker you want to listen. Put away
your work. Do not look at your watch. Maintain
good eye contact.
4. Remove distractions. Close your door. Do not
answer the telephone.
5. Empathize with the speaker. Put yourself in the
speaker’s shoes.
6. Be patient. Not everyone delivers messages at the
same pace.
7. Hold your temper. Do not fly off the handle.
8. Go easy on criticism. Criticizing the speaker can
stifle communication.
9. Ask questions. Paraphrase and clarify the
speaker’s message.
10. Stop talking. By this stage, you are probably very
tempted to start talking, but do not. Be sure the
speaker has finished.
Think of the last time you had a difficult communication
with someone at work or school. Evaluate
yourself in that situation against each of the ten
items. Which one(s) do you need to improve on the
most?
Bad at Complying? You Might Just Be a Very Bad Listener By Jared Sandberg From The Wall Street Journal Online
Whenever you enroll in soft-skills training for work -- leadership, conflict resolution, team-player -- there are aspects of the experience you can pretty much count on: You'll find yourself in a classroom with fluorescent lighting, unstainable carpet and motivational posters that invariably include puppies, elephants or monkeys.
There will always be a bulky binder for course materials, a pull-down projection screen and some form of journal or note card on which you can write your "learnings." Your instructor will likely be unfailingly patient and well-informed. And there will be role playing -- a bummer for those of us just now getting used to ourselves. You almost always begin by exploding commonly held misconceptions and move on to a new set of skills that include some easier-said-than-done bullet points: "Clear your mind."
And so it went last week during a visit to Cornell University's school of Industrial Labor Relations for a two-day class on "The Power of Listening." If you go in with the assumption that you will be fixed like a slipping transmission, it's not very long into the listening exercises, questionnaires and videos before you might think to yourself, I've heard enough.
But, then, of course, you probably weren't listening. Some people here take the course because it helps with certification requirements for certain jobs. Most attendees, ranging from labor-relations managers to a police officer, take it for personal development. There's usually someone who takes it because their bosses are looking to fix them. It's a course I've been wanting to take -- almost as much as my family has wanted me to.
Just an hour into the first morning, you're likely to understand the limitations of your listening skills. Bad listeners tend to tune out dry subjects, get into arguments, fake attention, react to emotional words and daydream. (Wow, do humans actually drink from that encrusted water tower on the building across the street?)
While allegedly listening, bad listeners often are rehearsing what they're about to say, grab every conversational opening and scout for flaws in an argument.
By the end of the first day, you're not simply looking at a second day of course work but a long, slow rehabilitation.
The trick to listening better begins with readiness to listen, which, concedes instructor Jennifer Grau, isn't easy in an age of interruption abetted by call waiting and instant messages. It also helps a lot if you can set your judgments aside.
Truth is, bad listening often is blamed falsely when a listener has chosen not to comply. But Ms. Grau, raised in Brooklyn, isn't going to put lipstick on that pig. "Sometimes the hardest part of listening is the mental part of getting yourself willing," she says.
Assuming you've overcome the hurdles, the task of listening to understand rather than simply to reply has three key elements: Involved silence (eye contact, vocal encouragements), probes (supportive inquiry using questions like "what" as opposed to the aggressive "why") and paraphrasing ("What I think you said is..."). That last step shouldn't simply be spitting back what people say, but integrating information about the speaker's attitudes and feelings, 55% of which is communicated nonverbally in body language (only 7% of feelings are communicated with words, Ms. Grau says).
When you consider that these skills are culled from a longer list (awareness, attending, perceiving, etc.) it's clear that listening takes an awful lot of time, which few of us have.
"Efficiency and politeness are inversely correlated," concedes Ms. Grau.
We spend much of Day Two practicing our involved silence as classmates take turns talking about something important and listening to someone else. That means no eye-wandering, eye-rolling or slouching boredom.
The speaker in our little subgroup begins, "It's difficult to be green."
It turns out to be a marketing executive's struggle to reduce his carbon footprint. Even one laid-back administrative staff manager who, judging from her ability to recall all of the instructor's directions is also a varsity listener, is having trouble being attentive and mustering probing questions.
"There are no boring subjects -- just unskillful listeners," Ms. Grau reminds us.
But the chips are stacked against the speaker -- and the rest of us. Humans speak at an average pace of between 110 to 200 words per minute, but they can understand in a range of 400 to 3,000 words per minute. "Human beings can't produce at the rate our brains find interesting," says Ms. Grau.
The final bit of advice before the session ends is to try out our new soft skills at home. My wife, who had asked me to make sure I returned her bank card to her before she left for work the next morning, ended up stranded at the subway station several blocks away without it. Her nonverbal communications accused me of not listening, but now I know it was merely a failure to comply.
Evaluate yourself: Which of these items do you most need to work on? Think of specific times you had a difficult communication with a coworker or peer.
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14. One-way vs. Two-way Communication
One-Way Communication – a person sends a message to another and no questions, feedback, or interaction follow
Good for giving simple directions
Efficient, but often less accurate
Two-Way Communication – an exchange of thoughts and/or feelings, through which shared meaning often occurs.
Good for problem solving
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Learning Outcome 2
Describe the five communication skills of effective supervisors.
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16. Five Keys to Effective Supervisory Communication
Expressiveness
Empathy
Sensitivity
Persuasion
Informative
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Learning Outcome 3
Explain five communication barriers and gateways through them.
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18. Barriers to Communication
Factors that distort, disrupt or even
halt successful communication
Physical separation
Status differences
Gender differences
Cultural diversity
Language
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19. Gateways to Communication
Openings that break down communication barriers
Requires awareness
and recognition
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20. Gateways to Communication
[Gender differences gateways]
Awareness of gender-specific differences in communication
[Cultural diversity gateways]
Increased awareness and sensitivity
Acquiring a guide for for understanding and interacting with members of other cultures
[Language gateways]
Speak in the native language of the listener
Avoid jargon or technical language
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Learning Outcome 4
Distinguish between defensive and nondefensive communication
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22. Defensive Communication
aggressive, malevolent messages as well as passive, withdrawn messages
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23. Defensive Communication
[Leads to]
injured feelings
communication breakdowns
alienation
retaliatory behaviors
nonproductive efforts
problem solving failures
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24. Nondefensive Communication
communication that is assertive, direct, and powerful
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25. Nondefensive Communication
[Provides]
positive and productive basis for asserting and defending oneself against aggression.
restores order, balance, and effectiveness to working relationships
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26. Two Defensiveness Patterns
Subordinate Defensiveness – characterized by passive, submissive behavior
“You are right, I am wrong.”
Dominant Defensiveness – characterized by overtly aggressive and domineering behavior.
“I am right.”
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Defensive Tactics
Defensive Tactic
Example
Power Play
“Finish this report by month’s end or lose your promotion.”
Labeling
“You must be a slow learner. Your report is still not done?”
Misleading Information
“He didn’t finish the report because he was out drinking last night.”
Hostile Jokes
“Can you finish the report, or are you too stupid?”
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28. Nondefensive Communication: A Powerful Tool
An alternative to defensive communication.
Centered, assertive, controlled, informative, realistic, and honest
Speaker exhibits self-control and self-possession.
Speaker exhibits self-control and self possession
Enhances relationship building
Listener feels accepted rather than rejected
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Learning Outcome 5
Explain the impact of nonverbal communication.
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30. Nonverbal Communication
all elements of communication that do not involve words
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31. Types of Nonverbal Communication
Proxemics
Kinesics
Facial and Eye Behavior
Paralanguage
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Proxemics
Territorial Space – bands of space extending outward from the body; territorial space differs from culture to culture
Zone a: intimate space: significant others, spouses, family members.
Zone b: personal distance: friendships
Zone c: social distance: business associates and acquaintances.
Zone d: public distance: strangers
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Proxemics
Seating dynamics – seating people in certain positions according to the person’s purpose in communication
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34. Kinesics
Different gestures mean different things in different cultures.
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35. Facial and Eye Behavior
Facial expression and eye behavior are used to communicate an emotional state, reveal behavioral intentions, cue the receiver or give unintended clues.
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Paralanguage
variations in speech send messages
What message is sent by:
High-pitched, breathy voice
Rapid, loud speech
Interruptions
Tongue clucking
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Learning Outcome 6
Explain positive, healthy communication.
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38. Communicative Disease
the absence of heartfelt communication in human relationships leading to loneliness and social isolation
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39. Positive, Healthy Communication
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Learning Outcome 7
Identify communication technologies and how they affect the communication process.
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41. Information Communication Technology (ICT)
Information databases
Voice mail
Smartphones
Video conferencing
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42. Characteristics of ICT
Instant exchange of information across geographic boundaries and time zones
Schedules and office hours become irrelevant
Normal considerations of time and distance less important
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43. How ICT Affects Behavior
Impersonal in nature
Decrease in interpersonal skills
Eliminates non-verbal cues
Alters social context of exchange
Equalizes participation
Increases potential for overload
Encourage multi-tasking
May make people less patient with face-to-face communication
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44. 1. This chapter defines communication as creating “a shared or common
meaning in another person.” Do you perceive Coach Gaines as
having reached that communication goal? Why or why not?
2. The chapter described an Interpersonal Communication Model.
What are examples from this film sequence of each part of the
model?
3. Assess the effectiveness of this communication event. How do you
expect team members and the assistant coaches to react in the second
half of the game?
Friday Night Lights
The Odessa, Texas passion for Friday night high school football
(Permian High Panthers) comes through clearly in this cinematic treatment
of H. G. (Buzz) Bissinger’s well-regarded book of the same title.
Coach Gary Gaines (Billy Bob Thornton) leads the Panthers to the 1988
semifinals where they must compete against a team of much larger players.
A fast-moving pace in the football sequences and a slower pace in
the serious, introspective sequences give this film many fine moments.
This sequence draws from DVD Chapter 27, “Half-Time,” and other parts of the film.
Ask your students:
1. This chapter defines communication as creating “a shared or common
meaning in another person.” Do you perceive Coach Gaines as
having reached that communication goal? Why or why not?
2. The chapter described an Interpersonal Communication Model.
What are examples from this film sequence of each part of the
model?
3. Assess the effectiveness of this communication event. How do you
expect team members and the assistant coaches to react in the second
half of the game?