1. DEVELOPING RESILIENCY SKILLS TO MANAGE EMOTIONS
Kevin Harrington, PhD

2. Joy
“Surely joy is the condition of life.”
-Thoreau

3. Resilience
Keeping the container full.

4. LIFE OF A TEENAGER Stress at home, school and peers
Depression and anxiety increasing at an alarming rate
Increase in suicide
Sleep, nutrition, exercise
Social Media
Socially isolated
Monkey brain

5. What Erodes Resilience?
Body Imbalance and Toxicity
Monkey Brain
Not feeling connected to others

6. Skills You Need Before You Go
Developing self-care skills
Developing non-critical view of self(compassion for self)
Ability to delay gratification
Ability to self calm-self soothe
Cognitive flexibility Problem solving skills Comfortable with failure
Internal locus of control Develop your dream
Mind-Body Heart Balance

7. What your teen needs from you before leaving
Building their ship
Validating their ship anointing your teen
Managing our anxiety Did I do a good job?
Letting your teen struggle to develop internal resources
Helping your teen be comfortable with their full range of emotions
Nurturing their independence

8. MIND-BODY-HEART BALANCE
Heart emotions
MIND

9. BRAIN BASICS Back of brain-Reptilian Alert Flight/Flight/Freeze
Middle –Limbic system Emotional Hub High
Front- Judgment, planning, natural intelligence (Continues to develop until 25)
Memory
Plasticity of the brain Developing new brain pathways

10. MOVING TO THE FRONT OF THE BRAIN
Calming the Body Nutrition, sleep, exercise BREATHE- BREATHE- BREATHE
Calming the Thoughts Discrimination skill “Turning off false alarms” “How big of deal is it?”
Calming the Emotions Triggering feelings of calm, competence, mastery ”You have what it takes”
 Calming the Spirit

11. PHYSICAL BALANCE Nutrition Sleep Exercise Physical stamina
Energy level
Physical complaints

12. BRAIN BALANCE
Internal conversations about self and others Internal critic
Discrimination Skills- How big of deal is it? Turning off false alarms.
Cognitive flexibility- thinking outside the box, ability to focus, problem solving
Making a plan.
Positive expectancy Internal locus of control

13. EMOTIONAL BALANCE
Self acceptance I am competent. I have what it takes.
Treat self with kindness
Forgiveness and Empathy
Gratitude and appreciation
Feeling I matter, I am delighted in, I am chosen, I am cherished
Feeling connected-part of the group.

14. Triggers that set off your alarm
Your 3 biggest triggers
Your teens 3 biggest triggers
Signs you have been triggered- physical-mental –emotional
Signs your teen is triggered

15. ADDING PAUSE THROUGHOUT THE DAY
Breathing throughout the day. Mini-breaks
Setting an intention for the day. Declaring what you want to grow
Pairing breathing with reviewing plan
Images associated with feelings you want to grow Reinforcing your competence

16. Helping Your Teenager Learn to Pause
You pausing before each transition and discussion
Asking to talk in 5 minutes when asked a question
Taking a break anytime anyone is over a 3
Are you sure you want to do that? (refusal)
Being clear about what is open for discussion
Stating what you want to happen with your teenager

17. Pause Ways you can pause Ways to help your teen pause
Ways you can help your parent pause

18. Emotional balance Emotional tsunamis
Emotional regulation Interrupting the storm
Being able to tolerate unpleasant emotions
Triggering positive emotions
What you focus on is what you grow TWO WOLVES
Learning to take a different path
AUTO BIOGRAPHY

19. The Two Wolves

20. WHEN TO Help/When to Back Away
What happens if I help too much?
What happens if I don’t help enough?
Managing your anxiety
How to give the message “You have what it takes”
Identifying push back as anxiety
How to help your teen learn to manage their anxiety

21. DEVELOPING CONNECTIONS
Self- Compassion for self, non-judgmental view of self, self-reflection, self correction
Family- siblings, parents, extended family MANDATORY FUN
Peers- friends, classmates, neighbors, teammates
Community- neighborhood, city, country, world, universe

22. TECHNOLOGY When is technology helpful? When does it drain resiliency?
HELPFUL APPS

23. Developing New Brain Pathways 51% Rule
Develop a practice
Mindfulness
Quieting monkey brain
Developing feelings of gratitude
Developing feelings of connection
Logistics Set yourself up for success One minute meditation

24. MOVEMENT Add movement to your day Triggering the relaxation response
Changes the energy
Running, yoga, walking
Homework time

25. TAKEAWAYS Mind-Body Heart Balance Turning off false alarms
Adding pause and movement to your day
Developing a non critical view of yourself
Developing connections

26. TAKEAWAYS/PARENTS Same as teens
Give the message “You have what it takes” by standing back when appropriate
Developing a ritual for time together

27. Contact Info
Kevin Harrington, PhD