1. Revising/Editing “Say, Mean, Matter” Paragraphs

2. Format Review Say Mean Matter
This is a direct quote of what the text says.
What does the text say?
What happened?
* Must cite text, have a lead-in introducing the quote, or paraphrase.
This is about interpretation.
Ask questions like, “What makes you think that?”
“How do you know that?”
What are the implications? (Possible outcomes or results?)
Why does it matter to me or others?
Why is it important? (to the story as a whole?)
What is the significance?

3. Topic Sentence
The topic sentence explains what the paragraph is about.
The topic sentence takes the writing task and answers the prompt.
The topic sentence drives the entire paragraph.

4. Topic Sentence
“The Cask of Amontillado”, by Edgar Allan Poe, is a tale of madness and revenge.

5. “Say” Statements Must include a lead-in introducing the quote:
X acknowledges that
X agrees that
X argues that
X believes that
X claims that
X demonstrates that
X insists that
X suggests that

6. “Say” Statements
Must include a lead-in and contain in-text citations at the end.
For example:
Montressor vows revenge upon Fortunato, “The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could; but when he ventured upon insult, I vowed revenge” (1).

7. Sample Paragraph Build…
“The Cask of Amontillado”, by Edgar Allan Poe, is a tale of madness and revenge. Montressor vows revenge upon Fortunato, “The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could; but when he ventured upon insult, I vowed revenge” (1).

8. “Mean” Statements Read between the lines.
Explain the quote in the context of the text.
Identify any rhetorical devices (simile, metaphor, personification, symbolism, etc.) used.
Use at least two of these:
This means ___.
This occurs when ___.
This is an example of ___ (rhetorical device).

9. Sample Paragraph Build…
“The Cask of Amontillado”, by Edgar Allan Poe, is a tale of madness and revenge. Montressor vows revenge upon Fortunato, “The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could; but when he ventured upon insult, I vowed revenge” (1). Montressor means that Fortunato has repeatedly offended him and he has decided to take revenge upon his enemy.

10. “Matter” Statement Why does the text matter?
Explain why the quote is significant within the text and to the reader (text-to-self), to others (text-to-world), and to other texts (text-to-text). Analyze the effect of any rhetorical devices used. Use at least two of these:
This situation is similar to society today because ___.
___ says/does/thinks this because ___.
This creates a tone of ___ because ___.
This evokes a mood of ___ because ___.
The significance of this situation is ___ because ___.
This raises the question of ___ because ___.
___ (author) uses ___ (rhetorical device) to show ___ because ___.
This relates to the theme of ___ because ___.
This context of ___ is significant because ___.

11. Sample Paragraph Build…
“The Cask of Amontillado”, by Edgar Allan Poe, is a tale of madness and revenge. Montressor vows revenge upon Fortunato, “The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could; but when he ventured upon insult, I vowed revenge” (1). This quote raises the question of Montressor’s sanity because he demonstrates madness by his excessive anger and mental instability.

12. Additional “Say, Mean, Matter” Statements
Add another set of “Say, Mean, Matter” statements to the paragraph. This set of statements must relate directly to the topic sentence and reinforce your main claim.

13. Sample Paragraph Build…
“The Cask of Amontillado”, by Edgar Allan Poe, is a tale of madness and revenge. Montressor vows revenge upon Fortunato, “The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could; but when he ventured upon insult, I vowed revenge” (1). This quote raises the question of Montressor’s sanity because he demonstrates madness by his excessive anger and mental instability. Montressor continues to provide questions about his sanity by stating, “I continued to smile in his face, and he did not understand that I was now smiling at the thought of what I planned for him, at the thought of my revenge” (2). Montressor suggests that he continues to treat Fortunato as a friend while devising a plan to seek revenge. This behavior demonstrates Montressor’s madness through his division of personality through his treatment of Fortunato and his mental thought processes which reveal his true intentions and the depth of his manipulations.

14. Concluding Sentence
The concluding sentence must relate back to the topic sentence reinforcing the information contained within your body paragraph.

15. Sample Paragraph Build…
“The Cask of Amontillado”, by Edgar Allan Poe, is a tale of madness and revenge. Montressor vows revenge upon Fortunato, “The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could; but when he ventured upon insult, I vowed revenge” (1). This quote raises the question of Montressor’s sanity because he demonstrates madness by his excessive anger and mental instability. Montressor continues to provide questions about his sanity by stating, “I continued to smile in his face, and he did not understand that I was now smiling at the thought of what I planned for him, at the thought of my revenge” (2). Montressor suggests that he continues to treat Fortunato as a friend while devising a plan to seek revenge. This behavior demonstrates Montressor’s madness through his division of personality through his treatment of Fortunato and his mental thought processes which reveal his true intentions and the depth of his manipulations. Montressor’s madness furthers Poe’s mastery of narration by providing an unreliable narrator whom believes that he is, in fact, of sound mind.

16. The Format of the Paragraph
Topic Sentence
“Say”
“Mean”
“Matter”
Concluding Sentence

17. Peer Review of the “Say, Mean, Matter” Paragraph

18. Peer-Review It is important to make the peer review process useful.
Basics of useful feedback:
It is given in a positive way
It is specific
It offers suggestions
It is given both verbally and in writing

19. Revision Strategies Look for Unity
Does everything refer back to main point?
Does each topic sentence refer to the thesis?
Does each sentence in each body paragraph refer back to the topic sentence?
Detail and support
Does each body paragraph contain at least two examples?
Is each example followed by at least one supporting detail?
Coherence
Are all points connect to form a whole?
Are transitions used to move from one idea to the next?

20. Revising
Revising is finding & correcting problems with content; changing the ideas in your writing to make them clearer, stronger, and more convincing.
Revising looks at the “Big Picture”— the Idea level.

21. Do Not Use These Words in Formal, Academic Essays
a lot
amazing
as being
bad
excellent
I believe
I think
I feel
in conclusion
in my opinion
kind of
me/my/mine
nice
ok/okay
our
really
sort of
stuff
this shows that
in addition to
to me us
we/we’re
you/your/yours/you’re
* no contractions or personal pronouns

22. After Peer Review…
Begin revising your paragraph by re- reading your paragraph, reading you peers’ comments, and adding your own ideas.

23. Self-Revision Tips
Take a break from your draft before attempting to revise.
Read your draft out loud and listen to your words.
Imagine yourself as your reader.
Look for consistent problem areas.
Read the feedback from peers.
Make necessary changes to your paragraphs.

24. Work Cited
Herring, D. "The Writing Process." . N.p., n.d. Web. 4 Jan < VanG/the-writing-process >.