1. MASTERING COMMUNICATION STYLES & HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS8B
Scott & White Worth the Wait®
High School—Lesson 8
4th Edition, September 2011

2. COMMUNICATION STYLES AGGRESSIVE PASSIVE ASSERTIVE TEACHER SCRIPT:
We will discuss 3 primary means of communication: Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive.
AGGRESSIVE
PASSIVE
ASSERTIVE
Scott & White Worth the Wait®
High School—Lesson 8
4th Edition, September 2011

3. COMMUNICATION and CONFLICT
When faced with conflict or pressure to get involved with health risk behaviors, there are 3 communication styles we can use.
TEACHER SCRIPT:
What are the 3 we just identified?
Passive, assertive and aggressive.
Scott & White Worth the Wait®
High School—Lesson 8
4th Edition, September 2011

4. PASSIVE Unsure Non-confrontational Doesn’t matter
Wants the other person to be happy
Doesn’t want to disappoint
TEACHER SCRIPT:
The passive communication style doesn’t want to cause conflict, and sometimes does what the other person wants just to keep peace. It’s not always bad to use the passive communication style. For example, if someone asks you to do something that has no negative consequences, it’s okay to be passive. If someone asks you where you want to eat for lunch, or what do you want to watch on TV and it really doesn’t matter, it’s okay to be passive; however, when someone is trying to get you to do something you know you shouldn’t do, don’t be passive. Passivity can be seen as unsure or easily influenced. People will often continue to pressure passive people into doing something until the passive person either uses another communication style or does what the individual wants them to do. It is okay to upset or disappoint someone if they are trying to get you to do something you know you shouldn’t do!
Passive phrases include: “I’m not sure;” “Whatever you want;” or “I guess it would be okay.”
Scott & White Worth the Wait®
High School—Lesson 8
4th Edition, September 2011

5. ASSERTIVE Clearly and convincingly communicating intentions
Gives alternatives to the suggested activity
Seeks a win/win scenario
TEACHER SCRIPT:
The assertive style clearly and convincingly communicates intentions. The goal is to communicate that you do not agree with the suggested activity trying not to offend someone. An assertive person might also suggest alternative activities. A lot of people will respect the assertive stance and stop pressuring you to get involved with health risk behaviors; however, if a person continues to pressure you after you have clearly stated your intentions, it is okay to get aggressive.
Assertive phrases would include: “I see your point, but no thank you;” or “Let’s do something else.”
Scott & White Worth the Wait®
High School—Lesson 8
4th Edition, September 2011

6. AGGRESSIVE Forceful and hard-line
Serious eyes, raised eyebrows, strong stance and voice
Insistent and uncompromising
TEACHER SCRIPT:
To be aggressive means you forcefully give your opinion, end the conversation, and walk away if necessary. Some people will continue to pressure an assertive person. When that happens, it is okay to get aggressive, but never okay to get violent. Being aggressive may upset someone, but may be necessary to avoid being pressured into a risky behavior/situation. Stand up for your best interests and future.
Aggressive phrases include: “I said no and I mean no;” “Now don’t ask me again;” “Leave me alone;” or say “Goodbye” and leave.
Aggressive does not mean violent!
Scott & White Worth the Wait®
High School—Lesson 8
4th Edition, September 2011

7. Sometimes getting assertive or aggressive can offend someone
Sometimes getting assertive or aggressive can offend someone. It’s okay to offend someone if they are trying to push you to get involved with health risk behaviors!
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Read the slide.
Scott & White Worth the Wait®
High School—Lesson 8
4th Edition, September 2011

8. An association, involvement or connection
RELATIONSHIPS
An association, involvement or connection
Developing healthy relationships decreases the likelihood of engaging in health risk behaviors.
TEACHER SCRIPT:
By using communication skills, you can develop healthy relationships and avoid unhealthy relationships!
It’s important to realize the different types of relationships you are in and how they influence you. Let’s look at 3 types of relationships.
Scott & White Worth the Wait®
High School—Lesson 8
4th Edition, September 2011

9. Healthy In a healthy relationship, there is… Encouragement to do well
Motivation to succeed
Trust
Honesty
Safety
TEACHER SCRIPT:
You know you are in a healthy relationship when there is encouragement to do well in school, be involved in activities that promote your talents and skills, and motivate you to excel in life. In a healthy relationship, there is trust and honesty. There is also safety, as there is absence of health risk behaviors.
Scott & White Worth the Wait®
High School—Lesson 8
4th Edition, September 2011

10. Unhealthy In an unhealthy relationship, there is… Fear Embarrassment
Discouragement
Health risk behaviors
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Experiencing fear or pressure to become involved in an activity that you know could possibly lead to harm, or be illegal, is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. If you find yourself making bad decisions or getting in trouble when with a particular person or group, this could signal a relationship that is unhealthy. An unhealthy relationship may also include being constantly put-down or discouraged to do well in school.
Scott & White Worth the Wait®
High School—Lesson 8
4th Edition, September 2011

11. An unhealthy relationship may become dangerous
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Unhealthy relationships may lead to dangerous relationships. This occurs when an unhealthy relationship leads to a dangerous situation. Let’s look at some examples.
Scott & White Worth the Wait®
High School—Lesson 8
4th Edition, September 2011

12. QUESTION Have you seen unhealthy relationships become dangerous?
How will you protect yourself from dangerous situations?
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Sometimes friends use peer pressure to influence each other to do things that could lead to dangerous situations. It’s important that people learn to stand up for themselves even when they are feeling the peer pressure. It is also important that students apply more positive peer pressure instead of negative peer pressure. Applying positive peer pressure leads to healthier relationships and less risky behavior.
Scott & White Worth the Wait®
High School—Lesson 8
4th Edition, September 2011

13. SCENARIO 1
Justin and I have been going out for two weeks. He says it is time for us to show each other our love by having sex. I love him, but I don’t think I want to have sex with him. I told him I’ll call him today after school and we’ll talk about it. I do love him and don’t want to lose him over sex. How should I respond to this?
TEACHER SCRIPT:
We have provided 3 scenarios. Choose the scenarios you feel are most applicable for your students and as time allows. Have students utilize the 3 communication styles-passive, assertive, and aggressive to suggest ways to avoid unhealthy relationships.
Read the slide.
Scott & White Worth the Wait®
High School—Lesson 8
4th Edition, September 2011

14. SCENARIO 2
This party is great but a lot of people are smoking. Janice has been smoking cigarettes for a few months now. I’ve noticed that her grades are slipping and she’s starting to hang out with some girls who dropped out last year. She’s offered me a cigarette twice tonight. Here she comes to offer me one again.
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Read the slide.
Scott & White Worth the Wait®
High School—Lesson 8
4th Edition, September 2011

15. SCENARIO 3
Alex’s dad keeps a refrigerator full of beer. Alex says he always takes some and his dad never notices. He invited several of us to come to his house and skip 5th period. He said we could drink a couple of beers, then come back to school. The 5th period bell is about to ring. What should I do?
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Read the slide.
Scott & White Worth the Wait®
High School—Lesson 8
4th Edition, September 2011

16. Remember effective communication is based on:
What you say
How you say it
Body language
Appearance
Listening
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Read the slide.
By using communications skills, you can develop healthy relationships and avoid unhealthy relationships!
Scott & White Worth the Wait®
High School—Lesson 8
4th Edition, September 2011

17. Freedom of Expression: I Can Say “NO!”
“This party is awesome!! I heard Sam has marijuana. I bet it would make this party even better if we tried some!” 
“We’ve been dating since middle school, and now we are in high school. We should have sex because we are more mature.”
“I can still drive you home. I’ve had one drink, and I’ll be fine.”
“Ashley really made me mad today, and she left her locker open…we should trash it!”
“My parents are out of town. Let’s ditch math class and go to my house. My brother can get us some beer!”
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Assign a group to each scenario. Leave the slide up while students discuss the assignment and follow the handout Freedom of Expression: I Can Say “NO!” (8C). When completed, have students review their answers with the class.
Scott & White Worth the Wait®
High School—Lesson 8
4th Edition, September 2011