1. Welcome to the Junior League Conflict Mode Workshop
Presented by BJ Fuller Holmberg, Ph. D.
Organizational Consultant
October 25, 2005
San Francisco
9/21/2018
Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

2. Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use
Conflict
Situation where your concerns or desires differ from another’s
9/21/2018
Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

3. Five Modes for Handling Conflict Adapted from the Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument
Competing
Collaborating
High
Assertiveness
Compromising
Low
Avoiding
Accommodating
Low
High
Cooperativeness

4. Steps for Finding a Collaborative Solution
Create an effective atmosphere
Clarify perceptions
Focus on individual and shared needs
Build shared positive power
Look to the future; learn from the past
Generate options
Develop “doables” – stepping stones to action
Make mutual-benefit agreements
From the Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution, Dudley Weeks
From the Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution, Dudley Weeks
9/21/2018
Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

5. Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use
Criticism
has the power to do good when there is something that must be destroyed, dissolved or reduced,
but it is capable only of harm when there is something to be built.
Carl Jung
9/21/2018
Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

6. Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use
Giving Feedback
SBI (Situation-Behavior-Impact)
Describe the Situation
Describe the Behavior
Describe the Impact
9/21/2018
Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

7. Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use
Top 10 Feedback Mistakes
Judge individuals not actions
Too vague
Speaks for others
Sandwich negative feedback between positive messages
Exaggerated
Psychoanalyzes motives
Goes on too long
Contains an implied threat
Inappropriate humor
Question, not a statement
Adapted from materials from Center for Creative Leadership
9/21/2018
Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

8. Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use
Skill Building
Practice giving feedback using the SBI model in a non-threatening situation to build your skills
Pay attention to how you typically give feedback (at home, to the kids, at work, to friends) and see if you habitually make any of the top 10 mistakes; work on doing feedback differently if you do
Choose a conflict that’s worth the time and effort to come to a collaborative solution and try out the Eight Steps
9/21/2018
Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use