2. Dragon, Dragon By John Gardner

3. Many years ago, there was a king who had a very nice kingdom.

4. The king had a big problem. His kingdom was being ruined by a dragon!

5. The knights in the kingdom were all cowards who hid under their beds whenever they saw the dragon, so they were no help.

6. The wizard couldn’t help because he was very old. He couldn’t remember his magic spells and he had lost his spell book.

7. The king didn’t know what to do!

8. Every time there was a full moon, the dragon left his lair and made trouble in the countryside.

9. He frightened the maidens…

10. …he put frogs in people’s drinking water…

11. …he tore the last chapters out of books…

12. …and to top it all off, he changed around all the roads so that people had to go the wrong way to get anywhere!

13. The king said, “That is enough!” and he had a meeting with everyone in the kingdom.

14. Everyone wanted to know why the wizard didn’t say a magic spell to get rid of the dragon. The wizard tried, but his magic spell turned the queen into a rosebush!

16. The king decided that something had to be done about the dragon before the wizard turned the queen into something worse! So he said that whoever stopped the dragon could marry his daughter, the princess.

17. “That’s not enough,” said the cobbler. “She’s a very nice girl, but I’m already married!” So the king offered half his kingdom to anyone who could stop the dragon. The cobbler didn’t want to have to be in charge of half the kingdom, so he went home.

18. The cobbler’s oldest son wanted to marry the princess, so he said that he would kill the dragon! Everyone clapped and celebrated.

19. The cobbler’s oldest son was very smart. He was sure that he could trick the dragon, but he thought it would be polite to ask his father for advice. So he went to his father and said, “I’m going to kill the dragon! Do you have any advice for me?”

20. The cobbler told his son, “When you see the dragon, say this poem: Dragon, dragon, how do you do? I’ve come from the king to murder you. Then the dragon will fall at your feet!”

21. The oldest son thought, “My father isn’t as wise as I thought! The only way to kill a dragon is to trick him, not tell him poems!” Then he went to the dragon’s lair.

22. The oldest son put on a disguise and pretended he was a brush salesman, but the dragon was too clever. Instead of buying brushes, he swallowed the oldest son in a single gulp!

23. Inside the dragon’s belly, the oldest son felt very sorry that he hadn’t listened to his wise old father’s advice and he started to cry

24. “Well,” said the king the next day to his family, “I see that the dragon has not been killed yet.” “I’m glad,” said the princess. “I would have had to marry that oldest son, and he had warts.” The queen didn’t say anything, because she was a rosebush.

25. The cobbler’s middle son decided to try to kill the dragon. He was very strong, and he was sure he could just surprise it, but he thought it might be polite to ask his father for advice. So he went to his father and said, “I’m going to kill the dragon! Do you have any advice for me?”

26. The cobbler told his son, “When you see the dragon, say this poem: Dragon, dragon, how do you do? I’ve come from the king to murder you. Then the dragon will fall at your feet!”

27. The middle son thought, “My father isn’t as wise as I thought! The only way to kill a dragon is to surprise him, not tell him poems!” Then he went to the dragon’s lair.

28. But the dragon wasn’t surprised. It had seen him coming a long way off. It swallowed the middle son in a single gulp.

29. Inside the dragon’s belly, the middle son too felt very sorry that he hadn’t listened to his wise old father’s advice and he started to cry.

30. “Well,” said the king the next day to his family, “I see that the dragon has still not been killed.” “I’m glad,” said the princess. “I would have had to marry that middle son, and he was a kind of humpback.” The queen didn’t say anything. She was still a rosebush.

31. The cobbler’s youngest son decided that he had to kill the dragon. He was very nervous, because he was not clever or strong. He was just a normal boy who always minded his elders.

32. The youngest son borrowed a suit of armor and a sword from one of the knights, and it was so heavy he could barely walk.

33. Then the youngest son went to ask his father for advice. The cobbler told his son, “When you see the dragon, say this poem: Dragon, dragon, how do you do? I’ve come from the king to murder you. Then the dragon will fall at your feet!”

34. The youngest son thought that was strange, but he put on his armor and started walking to the dragon’s cave.

35. The dragon saw the youngest son coming and sat at the door, waiting to eat him. He waited and waited for the boy to come into the cave, but nobody did.

36. Finally, the dragon looked outside and saw the youngest son with the armor and sword that were so heavy he could barely walk.

37. When he saw the dragon, the youngest son started to tremble so much that his armor rattled!

38. The dragon thought it was very funny to see the youngest son so afraid, and he started to laugh.

39. The youngest son remembered what his father said, and yelled, “Dragon, dragon, how do you do? I’ve come from the king to murder you.”

40. “What?” yelled the dragon, “You? You’re going to murder me?” He laughed so hard he cried.

41. Then the dragon laughed so hard he fell on the floor and rolled back and forth.

42. The youngest son was annoyed. “Yes, I did come from the king to murder you. You shouldn’t laugh at people for something like that.”

43. The dragon kept laughing. “Sorry, but just the idea of it! And that ridiculous poem!”

44. “It’s a good poem,” said the youngest son. The dragon was making him angry! “My father made it up. I want you to stop laughing.”

45. The dragon kept laughing, and the son got so mad that he dragged the heavy sword over to the dragon.

46. Then he accidently dropped the sword and it sliced the dragon’s head right off!

47. Then the two older brothers crawled out of the dragon and thanked the youngest brother for saving them.

48. The three brothers gathered all the treasure from the dragon’s cave and carried it home. The youngest son was glad he listened to his father. “Now I’ll be the richest man in the kingdom!” he said.

49. When they arrived back at the castle, everyone clapped and celebrated. The princess ran out and kissed the youngest son, because she had secretly hoped to marry him.

50. Then the wizard saw his wizard’s book in the pile of treasures! He looked up a spell and poof- the rosebush turned back into the queen!

51. Everyone lived happily ever after, once the queen forgave the king for letting the wizard turn her into a rosebush.