1. Reflecting Meaning
Basic Skills

2. Take a moment…
“It is not just what we inherit from our mothers and fathers that haunts us. It’s all kinds of old defunct theories, all sorts of old defunct beliefs, and things like that. It’s not that they actually live on in us; they are simply lodged there and we cannot get rid of them. I’ve only to pick up a newspaper and I see ghosts gliding between the lines” –Henrik Ibsen, Ghosts, Act 2
“We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are.” –Anais Nin
When we reflect meaning, we are digging below the surface of content, past feeling, to the underlying meaning. Take a moment to reflect on these quotations. How do they relate to reflecting meaning in a counseling context?

3. Meaning-Making is a Human Activity
Reflecting meaning is about listening for the client’s worldview.
Each person’s interpretations, values, and perceptions are unique.
They are formed by the person’s history, current needs, values, and beliefs.
Reflecting meaning names the “why” behind a person’s behaviors or feelings.
Constructivism:
The idea that humans actively work with their experiences, and based on their language and acquired beliefs, to construct reality in concert with others (Mahoney, 2004).
Meaning-making is a higher order skill that makes us uniquely human. Each person perceives of situations differently based on their past experiences. In counseling, we seek to understand the other person’s perspective, the meaning and significance they give to events in their lives. Reflecting meaning goes beyond understanding the facts (i.e. reflecting content) and the feelings (i.e. reflecting feelings) to the personal meaning of the story, which in turn tells us about the client’s theories about life.
Constructivism is the idea that humans actively construct their own reality based on language, acquired beliefs, and experiences. If we want to help our clients, we must try to see things the way our client sees them.

4. Levels of Disclosure
Reflecting content or paraphrasing  “What happened?”
Reflecting feelings  “How did you feel?”
Reflecting meaning  “What did it mean to you?”
Reflecting meaning helps us
understand the unique perspective
of the client
Helps client be aware of their
own lens
So far you have already learned how to reflect content and feelings. If we consider a person’s story to contain layers, the outermost layer is the content. In other words, reflecting content is explaining what happened in the story. The second layer, one layer deeper, is reflecting feelings. This helps the client and counselor understand what the client is or was feeling. The deepest layer is the personal meaning, or what the story means to the client. Reflecting meaning helps us understand the client’s perspective and help the client become aware of their unique perspective.

5. Why reflect meaning? Increases therapeutic alliance.
Helps client distinguish her perspective from the facts.
Helps client look at their values and worldview.
Opens up new perspectives and opportunities for change.
Brings content of counseling to deeper level.
What other reasons should we reflect meaning? By increasing our understanding of the client’s perspective, we deepen the therapeutic alliance. The client-counselor relationship is centered around empathy, which means to experience the client’s world as if you were the client. As meaning is the deepest layer to the story, reflecting meaning shows the client we understand the core of the story. A second reason to reflect meaning is to help the client sort out the facts from his or her perspective. It allows the client to take a step back and reflect on the situation. Yet another reason is to help the client to see his or her own worldview and values. By taking a step back to separate the facts from the client’s own perspective, the client can begin to see larger patterns emerge in his or her life. Once the client can see these patterns, he or she can choose new perspectives or make changes. And finally, reflecting meaning brings counseling to a deeper level.

6. Inner Circle Strategy E D C A B
E: public information (information you would discuss with anyone at your first meeting)
…levels get progressively deeper…
A: very personal issues (secrets)
Most relationships start at D and move towards A as the relationship grows. D C B A
One way to think about reflecting meaning is to think of our lives as concentric circles. The outer ring of the circle, represented by E, is public information. This is information you would be comfortable telling anyone, or information that someone can tell just by meeting you. This might be your occupation, style of dress, etc. The levels get progressively deeper, with level A being the deepest level. Most relationships start with safer disclosures in level D and move towards A as the relationship goes. Take a moment to consider issues in your own life that would fall into these categories. Perhaps you have opinions, experiences, or thoughts in level A that you have never told anyone or maybe just a few very close people in your life. Applying the inner circle strategy to reflecting meaning, as we get to know clients we try to go deeper and deeper with them to help uncover more layers of meaning.

7. Worldview & Values
Worldview: a person’s view of self, others, and the world
Worldview is influenced by:
Language
Gender
Ethnicity/Race
Religion/Spirituality
Age
Physical Ability
Socioeconomic status
Trauma
Personal Values: what is important to the client in life
Reflecting meaning is directly related to worldview, a person’s view of him or herself, other people, and the world in general. Worldview is influenced by many factors, some of which are listed here. In addition to worldview, each person also has a value system that reflects what is important to that client in life. Reflecting meaning by stating the values implied or stated in a client’s story is one way to go deeper.

8. The Challenge of Reflecting Meaning
Why is reflecting meaning difficult?
Formula: “You feel (reflect emotion) because (reflect personal meaning behind the situation that accounts for the feeling).”
Reflecting meaning is difficult because each person is unique, and therefore each person’s worldview is unique. It requires a great deal of listening and empathy. In addition, reflecting meaning is challenging because meaning is the deepest level of the story. Many people will readily share the facts of a situation, and some will reveal their feelings. The meaning level is even deeper than feelings, and it may take awhile to hear the meaning in a person’s story. Sometimes reflecting meaning comes in the form of playing a hunch that you intuitively sense may resonate with the client. Reflecting meaning requires patience and trust-building, which can best be achieved by listening attentively and reflecting content and feelings until the meaning begins to emerge.

9. Using Open Questions
Sometimes, when a client is not forthcoming with personal meaning behind his or her story, it helps to ask open questions
The Ultimate Meanings Technique
Although “why” questions can feel interrogative, reflecting meaning is essentially uncovering the “why” behind the story.
To practice, write down a question that starts with “Why do people…?” and fill in the last part of that sentence with a behavior.
Answer the question, and continue asking
“why” until you uncover the innermost layer
of meaning.
Sometimes counselors use other helping skills such as open-ended questions to uncover meaning in a client’s story. This is especially helpful when a client does not reveal deeper meanings behind their stories, even after you have worked to deepen the therapeutic relationship. An example of an open-ended question might be, “What makes you feel this way about this situation?” or “What is important about this situation?” This may lead the client to explore the deeper meaning.
A technique you can use to practice finding meaning is the ultimate meanings technique, developed by Leontiev. Although we often avoid asking our clients “why” questions because it can feel like an interrogation, meaning is in fact the “why” behind the story. To practice, write down a question that starts with “Why do people…?” and fill in the blank with a human behavior. Answer that question, then continue asking “why” to your answer until you reach the deepest meaning you can reach. For example: “Why do people travel?” “To see new things.” “Why see new things?” “Because you can see different ways of doing things?” “Why see other ways of doing things?” “Because you will be able to think of new ideas.” “Why think of new ideas?” “So that you can create new products at work and get an edge on other people.” Based on this line of questions and answers, you might guess that the person who answered values creativity, success, and competition. Another person would likely have completely different answers based on their own values and personal meanings.