1. Emotional Development from One to Three
Chap 11.1

2. Writing Activity Temper Tantrum
Imagine that a toddler is having a temper tantrum. She is frustrated that she cannot have her way. Write a poem about the tantrum. Make your poem funny or serious, but be sure it expresses emotion.
Writing tips – remember that not all poems rhyme. Here are some tips to help you get started:
Use language that creates interesting images
Use emotion packed words
Your poem should have a tempo or rhythm. Try settingyour poem to music!

3. photo
Even toddlers enjoy playing around other children. What do you think these children are learning from each other?

4. Emotional Patterns Go in cycles throughout childhood
Pronounced in children 1 to 3
Frustration, rebellion, happiness, calmness, stability
New emotions: jealousy
Alternates between negative and positive periods
Depends on 2 factors: child’s experiences and the child’s temperment

5. Individual differences
Noticeable between 1st and 4th birthday
Due in part to the different experiences that each child has
Ex. Only child differ from triplet who differ from 1 of 5
Also result of the child’s temperament – the way the child naturally responds to other people and events
Intense child may become more frustrated than an adaptable child
A perceptive (observant) child may show more empathy than one who is less perceptive

6. Family members
Each member of a family is an individual. What are some ways that the emotional needs of a parent are different from those of a two year old?

7. Eighteen months
Children have become self-centered – refers to thinking about one’s own needs and wants and not those of others
Up to now caregivers have promptly meet the child’s needs and desires
Now parents start to teach that some desires will not be met right away and some request will never be met
Young toddlers are likely to do the opposite of what is asked and their favorite response to everything is “no” – that allows them to feel some control over his or her world

8. Temper tantrums
Toddlers go through negative periods as well as positive ones. What are some causes of negativism?

9. Negativism – doing the opposite of what others want
Causes
The desire for independence
Saying “no” is their way of saying “let me decide for myself”
Frustration
They want to do more than their bodies are able to do and they don’t have the language to express all their feelings so they just simply and emphatically say “no!”
The realization of being a separate person
Is exciting and frightening. They welcome the power and independence of being a separate person but they still want a tight bond with their primary caregiver

10. Strategies to help prevent conflicts (battle of wills between child and parent)
Give choices
Instead of saying “pick up your books and toys” ask “Which will you pick up first – the books or the toys?”
Redirect the child
Julia was having trouble stacking blocks so her mother suggested that they read a book instead
Encourage talking
Ask “what is wrong” or “Don’t you like that?” – encourage them to share what they are feeling

11. Temper tantrums
Release anger or frustration by screaming, crying, kicking, pounding, and sometimes holding their breath.
Begins around 18 months and continues until age three or four
Often have when tired or frustrated
Giving into tantrums teaches them how to get their way and it also makes them more likely to have tantrums

12. Handling Tantrums
If a tantrum is about to begin, try to avoid it. Distract the child with a toy or by pointing out an activity going on elsewhere
If a child has a tantrum at home, try ignoring it
If a child has a tantrum in public, take the child to a quiet spot to cool down
Always remain calm and speak quietly et firmly
Acknowledge the child’s feeling and restate why the child’s demands cannot be met
Adhere to set limits
Keep toddlers from hurting themselves or others
Once the tantrum is over, praise the child for calming down

13. Take charge
With a partner, create a skit about how you would handle a two year old having a temper tantrum at the mall

14. Two years old Less at odds with the world than 18 month old
Speech and motor skills have improved – easing some frustration
They understand more and is able to wait longer for various needs to be met
Express love and affection freely
Seeks approval and praise
Fewer and less intense emotional outbursts
Easier to reason with
Get along better with parents and other children
More outgoing and friendly
Less self-centered

15. Two and one-half years
Just as you adjust to a smoother, less intense toddler, the child enters another difficult stage
Not as easily distracted
Learning so much they often feel overwhelmed
Their desires and ability to understand tasks exceeds their physical ability to perform
They may know what they want to say but can not always say it clearly
Their frustrations may boil over
Struggle with immaturity and a powerful need for independence which causes them to resist pressures to conform
Sensitive about being bossed, shown, helped, or directed during this stage
They can be stubborn, demanding and domineering
Their moods change rapidly and within a short time they can become lovable and completely charming
Need for consistency – they want the same routines, carrier out the same way, every day – how they cope with confusing world and helps them build confidence and a feeling of security
Feel both independent and dependent
Sometimes they seek help and other times they want to do it themselves
Require love and patience, especially when their behavior is neither lovable nor patient
Need flexible limits rather than hard and fast rules

16. Three years Happier nature More cooperative Learning to be considerate
More physically capable and therefore less frustrated
More willing to take directions from others
They will modify their behavior to win the praise and affection they crave
Fewer temper tantrums
Like to talk – to their toys, their playmates, themselves, and their imaginary friends
Want to tell parents all about their day
Respond when others talk to them
Can be reasoned with
Can be controlled by words

17. Three and one-half years
Have suddenly become very insecure
Parents may feel the child is going backward rather than forward emotionally
Fears are common – the dark, imaginary monsters, strangers, loud noises
Emotional tension and insecurity show up in physical ways – thumb sucking, nail biting, stumble or stutter
Try to ensure their own security by controlling their environment – “I want to sit on the floor to eat lunch!” or “talk to me!”

18. Expert adivce
“emotional well-being and social competence provide a strong foundation for emerging cognitive abilities, and together they are the bricks and mortar that comprise the foundation of human development.”
The science of early childhood development, national scientific council on the developing child

19. It is important to keep in mind these differences in temperament when teaching children how to control their emotions

20. Most young children go through predictable stages in their emotional development. How do children typically change between eigtheen months and two years of age

21. An emotional roller coaster
Eighteen months
The eighteen month old is defiant, trying to establish some control over her life
Two years
The two year old is affectionate and may often be in the caregivers way
Two and one-half years
At two and one-half, the child may feel overwhelmed. Frustration the becomes anger
Three years
The three year old is generally a happy child who is eager to help
Three and one-half years
At three and one-half years, a child is often bothered by fears

22. Specific emotions
Children express emotions openly until 2 or 3 and then begin to learn socially acceptable ways of displaying feelings
Anger
Fear
Jealousy
Love and affection
empathy

23. Anger Child’s way of reacting to frustration
By 3 they are less violent and explosive – so less likely to hit or kick
Use name calling, pouting or scolding
Anger directed more towards object or person they hold responsible for their frustration
Most causes temporary
Sick, tired, uncomfortable, hungry, don’t get own way - frustrations leads to anger
Sometimes anger is expressed as aggression
Over toys they are trying to figure out how to get along
Certain factors can cause more anger than normal
Parents overly critical or inconsistent, has not learned self control
Make sure demands on child limited and reasonable

24. Tips to handling anger Use words Speak calmly Take deep breaths
Rather than hitting or lashing out, children and adults should try to express feeling with words
Speak calmly
Don’t scream or yell
Take deep breaths
Have child take a few deep breaths to calm down
Have the child rest for awhile – then discuss misbehavior and any punishment once the child has calmed down (make sure explain what they should have done)
Don’t respond with anger it only makes the situation worse and sets a poor example

25. Dealing with misbehavior
Discussing misbehavior and punishment is easier once a child has calmed down. What are three acceptable ways of handling anger?

26. fear Different at different ages
1 frightened of strangers
3 frightened of the dark
Some fears useful as they keep them from dangerous dituations
Phobia – an unexplainable and illogical fear
2 Most common: fear of heights and public speaking
More likely to develop in children who are shy and withdrawn
Sometimes adults pass their fears to their children (Do you have any of the same fears as your parents?)
Separation anxiety – fear of being away from parents, familiar caregivers, or the normal environment
12 to 18 months when parents eave to go to work or run errand or when go to bed in a room different than their parents
Don’t feel guilt – remember it just shows they are attached to you
Tell the child when you will be back and give them something special for safe keeping until you return like a blanket or stuffed animal

27. How to deal with fears Offer support and understanding
Encourage children to talk about their fears
Sometimes it is best to accept the fear and avoid trying to force the child to comfort it
Read books together about a child who experiences fear
Make unfamiliar situations more secure
Teach the child how to control frightening situations

28. Parenting skills Managing changes in a child’s routine
Toddlers and preschoolers find a sense of security in a predictable routine. When their routine is changed, some become anxious. Transitions fom one activity to the next are also difficult for some children this age. The following tips can be helpful.
Make time for transitions
Warn children ahead of time of changes in activities. For example let a child know it is time to leave in five minutes. This notice helps gives them a sense of control and security
Familiarize children with the unfamiliar
Give them time to check out new places and people. For example visit their school a day before their first day
Be as clear and consistent as possible
They find security in the predictability of adults reactions when the rules are clear and caregivers respond to them consistenty

29. Take charge
Providing children with predictable routines is an important parenting skill. Write a paragraph explaining how you would provide a child with a predictable bedtime routine.

30. jealousy During 2nd year (peaks about 3)
Sometimes parents are the target
Resent love and affection between parents because they don’t understand that parents have enough love for everyone
Sibling rivalry – the competition between brothers or sisters for parents’ affection and attention
Often when new baby born
They will try to get more attention – show off, act inappropriately, go back to baby like behaviors (bed wetting, baby talk) because they are afraid of losing the parents love (give them more affection and reassurance not punishment)
Many experts suggest not leaving toddler alone with new baby

31. How to cut down on sibling rivarly
Make sure each child feels love and appreciation
Set aside one on one time with each child
Avoid making comments that compare one child to another
Let the children take turns in choosing activities, such as a game the family plays together or a movie to watch
Make it clear that you will not accept ne child tattling to get another one in trouble
Talk to children about their jealous, how hard it can be to have siblings, and how lucky they are to have each other

32. Toddlers and jealousy
A new baby sometimes causes jealousy in a toddler. What are some ways parents can help prevent sibling rivalry?

33. Love and affection Must learn to love
As they grow it expands to include siblings, pets and people outside the home
Loving relationships between parents or other caregivers and children need to be strong but not smothering
A child who depends entirely on caregivers for love has difficulty forming other relationships

34. Showing affection
Young children gradually learn to show love and affection for others. Have you seen a young child try to comfort someone who seemed unhappy?

35. Empathy – the ability to understand how another person feels
They learn that their actions can hurt others
They may pat a child who is unhappy
Give a stuffed animal to a friend/sibling to help them cheer up

36. Individual traits
Every child devel9ops in a unique way because of his or her individual traits. How can caregivers help children develop empathy of other people.

37. Emotional adjustment
Signs that child has a healthy relationship with his or her parents:
Seeks approval and praise
Turns to parents and caregivers for comfort and help
Tells caregivers about significant events so they can share in the joy and sorrow
Accepts limits and discipline without too much resisitance
Also their relationship with siblings (should not be continuously and bitterly at odds with them)

38. Emotional adjustment
Promote positive self-concept – how people see themselves (self esteem is how highly you value yourself)
Positive : see themselves as good and capable
Negative : see themselves as bad or unable to do tasks
Parents strongest influence but also mastery of skills so give them a chance to explore their world
Remember self confidence lead to positive self-concept
Discourage negative behavior
Explore feelings
read stories to a child or watch children’s videos together
Acknowledge feelings
Everyone gets angry sometimes but it is not okay to hurt people (responses to child who hits when playmate takes their toy)
Give choices
Offer simple choices to empower them (what shirt would you like to wear) and give them a sense of control

39. Giving praise
It is important that young children have a good relationship with parents and their caregivers. Why is it important that young children receive love from parents and caregivers?

40. Sleep and emotional behavior
The importance of adequate sleep
Sleep cycles
REM sleep – a sleep cycle characterized by rapid eye movement. This is a light sleep where dreams occur
NREM sleep – a cycle of sleep in which rapid eye movement does not occur. It is a deep sleep
Prevent sleep deprivation
Determine a child’s best bedtime
People need different amounts of sleep
Limit toys in the bed
Toys signal playtime not sleep time
Establish a bedtime routine
Follow every night: bath brush teeth, bedtime story, bed
Keep bedtime pleasant
Talk and cuddle with the child
Try a backrub

41. After you read
1. describe the changes in emotions that occur in children between ages three and three and one-half years
2. explain the difference between self-concept and self-esteem
3. identify what separation anxiety is and at what age it typically becomes the strongest
4. summarize what parents can do to minimize sibling rivalry

42. After you read continued…
5. (ELS) Locate a book for young children that deals with emotional issues such as a fear of the dark or a new baby in the family. Write a paragraph evaluating the book. Do you think it would help a young child?
6. (science) Conduct research to learn more about sleep cycles and the differences between REM and NREM sleep. Write a report describing what you have learned. You may wish to include charts in your report.