1. Interpersonal Communication
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Interpersonal Communication
Dr. Martha Reavley
Odette School of Business

2. Introduction Key to interpersonal and organizational effectiveness
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Introduction
Key to interpersonal and organizational effectiveness

3. 11/10/2018
Topics of Discussion
Models of effective communication: basic model and the pyramid of mutuality
Communication styles
Native tongue exercise

4. The Basic Model of Communication
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The Basic Model of Communication
Sender message receiver
channel
noise

5. Pyramid of Mutuality Mutual Respect Mutual Meaning Mutual Purpose
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Mutual Respect
Mutual Meaning
Mutual Purpose
Silence
Violence
Withdrawing Hiding Politicking Monologuing Labeling Attacking

6. Mutuality A win-win situation that is built on a foundation of trust
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Mutuality
A win-win situation that is built on a foundation of trust
Sharing things in common
Seeking for things in common:
interests
goals
values

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Mutual Purpose
Common goals or objectives that are built on a foundation of trust
Something we want

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Mutual Meaning
Observations, assumptions, conclusions, and feelings that both parties acknowledge as valid
Available Meaning: When ideas, observations, and values are acknowledged and understood, they become part of the available pool of common meaning
Hidden Meaning: Through sharing meaning we become more aware of inconsistencies in our own thinking

9. Mutual Respect Critical for maintaining dialogue
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Critical for maintaining dialogue
Both parties choose to treat each other with dignity, decency, and consideration, based on the assumption that others are reasonable, and decent

10. Silence - to - Violence continuum
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Dialogue
Violence
Silence
Withdrawing hiding politicking monologuing labeling attacking

11. Silence Strategies
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Politicking: selectively hiding and showing meaning. We hide our motives or withhold assumptions
Hiding: talking without revealing anything. Manipulative conversations
Withdrawing: Pulling out of communication completely. The most severe form of silence.

12. Silence Strategies exs.
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Silence Strategies exs.
At work
In school
At home
With friends

13. Violence Strategies
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Monologuing: Talking with the sole purpose of getting what you want. Communication is unidirectional.
Labeling: Turing people into categories or things in order to get what you want. Makes it easier to do or say anything.
Attacking: Communicating for the sole purpose of pushing or hurting. It includes harsh accusation, yelling and raw invective.

14. Violence strategies exs.
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Violence strategies exs.
At work
At school
At home
With friends

15. Strategies Test 1. Let me see if I understand. 2. Oh yeah, you bozo.
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1. Let me see if I understand.
2. Oh yeah, you bozo.
3. If you say so.
4. Well, guarantee means a lot of things. So , I guess I could say I guarantee.
5. I can see you’re angry. Is it because we missed the deadline?
6. There’s no time for discussion. Just do it!
7. No, I have nothing to add. I never have anything to add.
8. You bean counters always think that way.
9. I know I missed the meeting, but you guys are doing a terrific job.

16. Answers 1. Let me see if I understand. -dialogue. Trying to understand
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1. Let me see if I understand. -dialogue. Trying to understand
2. Oh yeah, you bozo. - labeling. Name calling
3. If you say so. - Hiding. Decreased meaning
4. Well, guarantee means a lot of things. So , I guess I could say I guarantee. Politicking. Wanting to allow for different definition
5. I can see you’re angry. Is it because we missed the deadline? - dialogue. Trying to understand
6. There’s no time for discussion. Just do it! Monologuing
7. No, I have nothing to add. I never have anything to add. labeling
8. You bean counters always think that way. labeling
9. I know I missed the meeting, but you guys are doing a terrific job. politicking

17. Effective Communication:
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Effective Communication:
A change of heart, not just a change in behaviour

18. Underlying Values
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20. Native Tongue Exercise
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Native Tongue Exercise

21. What This Means For Change
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Make specific, personal ground rules: I will use a calm voice when speaking to…
Critique your performance: How did you violate the rule? What went wrong?
Manage expectations: begin an interaction with some explanations - “in the past this has ended in shouting match….
Apologize appropriately to allow dialogue to continue

22. Next Steps Commit to effective communication
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Next Steps
Commit to effective communication
Understand the problems within your group
Document your progress in you diary