1. Evidence and Elaboration
Building Support for your Claim

2. NON-EXAMPLE
In your designated “teams,” provide TWO comments to serve as feedback for the example below:
Many people feel that the American Dream is still alive, but they are wrong. This dream is dead. Like Howard R. Gold states the American Dream would cost the average family of four about $130,000 a year. That’s a lot of cash, like over $100,000. And most people don’t make that much money. With the cost of groceries, car expenses, medical expenses, education expenses, apparel, and utilities totaling $58,491, no one can afford this American Dream. It’s too much money, which very few people have. So, coming together to achieve the American Dream like Colin Powell suggests is just not possible, just like the dream itself.

3. Now, to the Body Paragraph…
Writing Essentials:
Transitional Devices
WAITED words / phrases (while, although, in spite of, though, even though, despite)
AAAWWUBBIS words (after, although, as, when, while, until, before, because, if, since)
Address the COUNTER CLAIM (as a transition, and sporadically throughout…)
Text-Based Evidence
Proper Citation / Text Reference / Parenthetical Citation
(source #, author’s name, title, etc.)
Elaboration
Appropriate Style, Objective Tone, and Vocabulary
Varied Sentence Structures (simple, complex / short, long)

4. Types of Evidence-Based Elaboration
DESCRIPTION
EXAMPLE
Explanation
Explain the evidence provided. (Often used when a direct quote is given.)
Evidence: According to authors, Africa lost more than 60% of its elephants to poachers over the last ten years.
Elaboration: That is more than half of all the elephants in the entire continent, meaning that at this speed, the elephants could soon die out.
Evaluation
Evaluate the evidence based on other facts in the passages.
Evidence: Surveys indicate that many citizens do not even realize that the elephants die when poachers get the ivory.
Elaboration: However, this is not a good enough reason to let this practice continue, since groups like CITE educate their citizens with such facts.
Definition
Defining concept or idea to help your reader better understand the evidence.
Evidence: Colony collapse disorder (CCD) is one possible reason why honeybees are disappearing.
Elaboration: Colony collapse disorder is when bees leave their nest but never return. Scientists are searching for the cause.

5. Types of Evidence-Based Elaboration
DESCRIPTION
EXAMPLE
Analyze (Compare)
Provide a comparison to the evidence.
Evidence: As the polar ice melts, polar bears become less afraid of humans as they look for food.
Elaboration: The graphic provided shows a polar bear trying to get into a truck. Thus, as their habitat disappears, they search elsewhere, finding food wherever possible.
Analyze (Prediction)
Analyze the evidence and make a prediction based on evidence in the text.
Evidence: Colony collapse disorder (CCD) is one possible reason why honeybees are disappearing.
Elaboration: If this continues to happen and bees keep leaving their hives, crops will fail, costing farmers millions of dollars.
Analyze (Cause/Effect Relationships)
Analyze the evidence to show a likely cause and effect relationship.
Evidence: Experts say that the coral reefs are disappearing at a rapid rate.
Elaboration: Therefore, many aquatic creatures like the clown fish will become greatly in danger of losing their natural habitat.

6. Practice, Practice, Practice! YOUR TASK:
Select TWO pieces of evidence below and practice your elaborative techniques in a blank word document. Before moving to the next slide, let me check your practice portion. (You may change the wording, the signal phrase, or the transition into the evidence provided if needed.)
According to Howard Gold, a survey conducted by the Brookings Institution revealed that the American dream was “harder to achieve.”
“AAA estimated it would cost $11,039 a year to own one four-wheel- drive sport-utility vehicle” (Source 2).
“Only 16 million U.S. households – around 1 in 8 – earned that much in 2013, according to the U.S. Census Bureau” (Source 2).
A graphic in “Price Tag for the American Dream” reveals that the costly amount for the average “extras” like family vacations, entertainment, and restaurants totals $17,009.

7. Practice, Practice, Practice! YOUR TASK:
Next, draft your body paragraph for the “American Dream: Dead or Alive” prompt. (You may choose to use the same evidence provided on the previous slide, or feel free to select other relevant evidence from the text. Don’t forget the writing essentials!)
PROMPT: Take the stance that the American Dream is NOT achievable, using evidence to support your claim from “The Price Tag of the American Dream,” while refuting the counter claim presented in “Sharing the American Dream.”
After finishing your written draft, upload to the designated Padlet page.