1. Improving Family Communication

2. Start with your communication
Practice your listening skills
Become more aware of how you send messages
Are you too vague?
Are you assuming the receiver has knowledge they may not have
Are you using the wrong channel for the message?
Are you asking for feedback
A good review for participants is to apply these principles to their goal setting meetings. Practice listening and improving communication at all the steps along the way. 2

3. Improving Family Communication
Take time to explain
Does the next generation know your wants & desires for the farm and other assets?
Off-farm heirs might not understand today’s farm language
Estate planning comes with its own set of terms – does everyone understand what is being said 3

4. Improving Family Communication
Take time to explain
Does the next generation know your wants & desires for the farm and other assets?
Off-farm heirs might not understand today’s farm language
Estate planning comes with its own set of terms – does everyone understand what is being said 4

5. Improving Family Communication
Learn about personalities and their communication styles
Participate in a communication workshop
Hold a farm based Real Colors Workshop
Spend some time reading feedback and body language of others
Body language—arms crossed 5

6. Hold Family Business Meetings
Begin holding regular family business meetings
Work out an agreement to allow for consistent and productive meetings
Regular family business meetings are good way to begin to get the family used to discussing farm related topics, goal setting, future planning, planting decisions, etc. It’s a lot easier to put estate planning on the agenda b/c everyone knows that topic is coming up and can be prepared for it.
Move your meetings away from home base, mom’s kitchen table, etc. Have them somewhere that is neutral. This too can help with when there is a person who tends to dominate the conversation. Make sure the location is comfortable with no phones, table and chairs be able to adjust heat and coolness. Serve refreshments.
Don’t be afraid to change the invitation list. There may be some meetings that estate planning is the topic and off-farm heirs need to be involved with that meeting and other meetings that don’t affect them. Decide if in-laws are going to be a part of the meeting or not. Written minutes from the meetings are important also. They give an accurate record of topics discussed and decisions made…much better than trying to remember. Written minutes can also be shared with those not at the meeting…that way everyone is getting the same information and it is not be relayed and interpreted by a spouse or other family member. 6

7. Tips for Successful Family Business Meetings
Decide who are the “right” people to attend
Chose a person to run the meetings
Distribute an agenda in advance
Meet in a neutral place
Begin and end meetings on time
Decide who are the “right” people to attend each family business meeting
How many generations?
In-laws?
Family members not in the business?
Young family members not yet in the business?
Family members who are employees with no management responsibilities?
Chose a person to run the meetings who knows how or is willing to learn
Need not be Mom or Dad
Delegate authority and responsibility to the person running the meetings
Demand that the person is fair, consistent, even tempered, responsible and patient
Be willing to go outside family for the person if necessary
Distribute an agenda in advance
Include enough detail so that people know how to prepare for the meeting
Use consistent format for agenda
Expect everyone to come prepared
Stick to the agenda
Avoid introduction of topics not on the agenda
Identify topics for future meetings as you go
These are some ways to get the conversation started…remember little steps are important – tackle one issue at a time and don’t overwhelm yourself or other members of the family. These are sensitive issues that take time and consideration.

8. Tips for Successful Family Business Meetings
Stick to the agenda
Avoid socializing during the meeting
Expect recorder/secretary to distribute minutes soon after meeting
Minimize reconsideration of actions taken at last meeting
Evaluate the effectiveness of your meetings at least once each year
Avoid socializing during the meeting
Socialize before or after the meeting
Take breaks as necessary
Have refreshments available before and during the meetingExpect recorder/secretary to distribute minutes soon after meeting
Use consistent format for minutes
Record actions taken but not all the discussion that led to the actions
Include next steps agreed to
Include to whom assignments were made for follow up
Minimize reconsideration of actions taken at last meeting
Reconsider only when there is new and important information
Disallow members wearing down the rest of the family until they get what they want
Evaluate the effectiveness of your meetings at least once each year
Be willing to admit something is not working
Be willing to experiment

9. You may wish to… Incorporate an outside facilitator
Help make sure everyone understands what is being said
Make sure everyone has a chance to share their input
Keep the conversation flowing in a positive direction
This person can help make sure everyone is understanding what is being said and help guide the communication flow – keeping the conversation going and moving in a positive direction.
The facilitator can take some of the power away from the dominate personality. It’s easier for an outside person to say, please let Billy talk, it’s his turn, because they don’t have to go to Christmas dinner with that person. 9

10. General Communication Tips
Small agreements build rapport and momentum
Questions are powerful language tools
Express more appreciation & affirmation
Use “I” statements and limit “you” statements
Advise and consent for day to day management
Majority rules for housekeeping
Consensus for big picture decisions 10

11. Help each other by: Establish a home independent of your parents
Be consistent in your mood, humor, temperament and cheerfulness
Admit your mistakes
Ask about what others feel and think
Pay attention to non-verbal cues 11

12. Help each other by: Encouraging friendly, open conversation
Invite and respect differing viewpoints
Don’t make assumptions—ask
Rephrase to be sure you understand
If you have reservations, voice them respectfully 12

13. Cautions Problems that are bigger than communication
Get over past hurts. This won’t go away after Mom and Dad go, it will only get worse
No one can get everything they want
Not even possible to get everything you think you “must” have
Must often overcome history of failed meetings 13

14. The Good News! Everyone of us can become a better communicator
Every family business can learn to have successful business meetings
Hard work and an open mind earn big rewards 14

15. How would your communication change if you had you had 3 months to live?

16. Personal Observations
Don’t assume you will have time or feel well enough to complete your “bucket” list
What knowledge has not been transferred?
Don’t leave the burden of making decisions to the surviving spouse or next generation
Communicate! Be open about your wishes
No time like today to start--What regrets can you eliminate today?
Talk to your kids and spouse!
Does the next generation want it?
Can we get along?
Introduce the case study “My farm problem” about the 37 year old farm boy talking about communications with dad.
Discuss with class.
What advice would you give ………….