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Was it something I said? Advanced Communication skills
Sue Duraikan and Lindsay Abbott Was it something I said? Advanced Communication skills
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Breaking down barriers
Sue Duraikan Breaking down barriers Building your University-wide network
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Networking Prepare Mindset Confidence Communication Good judgment
Follow up
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Objectives Build rapport in social/professional situations
Deliver your message with enthusiasm, sincerity and clarity Improve your skills in communicating persuasively Give and receive criticism constructively Know when and how to use different strategies for handling conflict
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It’s not about position
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It’s not about using force
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So why do people willingly do what you want?
Because they… know you like you respect you admire you
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…and because they… Trust you Owe you Can see how it will benefit them
Want to fit in with the majority
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Persuasiveness
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What is persuasive communication?
Effective Needs some work Verbal Vocal Visual
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Why do people willingly do what you want? Because you…
Come across as competent/expert Express clearly and succinctly what you want/need Make it easy for them
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Nudge theory
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The persuasive mindset
Swe The persuasive mindset Self control Courageous Clear goal Collaborative Compassionate Curious Committed
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Plan What do I know about this person? How can I hook them?
What do I really want? What are my key points? How can I bring them to life? What objections are likely? What’s my back up option? What will make it easy for them to agree? What if we can’t agree?
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The 3As Accuracy Agreement Action Plan Focus Give information/
ask questions/ listen Mutual understanding commitment Agreement creativity goodwill Joint problem solving Agreed action plan Action Post-meeting review
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Make it two way!
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Visual impact Eye contact Angle Hands Posture Facial animation Clothes
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Vocal impact Volume Articulation Pace Pitch Range Inflection
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Planning corrective feedback
Mindset: desire to help, not to hurt How much is helpful? Think what it says about you Time it close to the event
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Giving corrective feedback
Beware assumptions Ask rather than tell Be specific Focus on the future Focus on behaviour not personality Don’t exaggerate or generalise Ensure degree of agreement Suggest specific improvements Agree action plan
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Handling aggression: verbal
Communicate clearly Ask questions and listen Answer questions Apologise if in error Show you’re keen to find a solution Don’t appear hurried Don’t take it personally Point out consequences if appropriate
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Handling aggression: visual and vocal
Breathe deeply - even, warm tone Open position Keep hands calm Watch personal space Both sit down
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Handling criticism When do you respond positively to criticism?
When do you respond negatively? What makes the difference? What could you do better?
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Handling criticism Emotional self-control Roll with the punch
Hold back and ask questions Repeat back Consider whether justified Avoid counter-attack Show you value feedback Ask for time Act on it!
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Personality clashes and warring egos 44
Causes of conflict Respondents’ (%) rating as a most important source of conflict at work Personality clashes and warring egos 44 Poor leadership 30 Poor line management 29 Poor performance management 21 Heavy workload/inadequate resources 14 Bullying /harassment 13 Lack of openness and honesty 12 Lack of clarity about accountability/ownership Lack of role clarity 11 Clash of values 10 Stress Taboo topics 9
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Self-talk in conflict It’ll sort itself out.
I daren’t say anything. It might all blow up in my face. I’ll call Liz. At least I can get it off my chest. A stiff drink’s what I need right now. How dare she?! What does she know anyway? I’m just going to get it out in the open.
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How not to manage conflict
Behind the scenes manipulation Manoeuvring for position Get you later games Sarcastic jokes Emotional blackmail Concealing/giving false information Defensiveness Office politics Gossiping bullying How not to manage conflict Tension Mistrust Anxiety Fatigue Self-preservation Low morale Dysfunctional communication Poor decision making Lower performance
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Approaches to conflict
Im Approaches to conflict High Appease Collaborate Avoid Compete Importance of relationship Compromise Low Importance of issue High
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Competing: how it sounds
Patronise ‘Calm down.’ ‘I think you’ll find..’ ‘It was clearly stated…’ Clichés ‘I hear what you’re saying but…’ ‘I understand your position.’ ‘With all due respect…’ Judge ‘You’re overreacting/being unreasonable.’ ‘That’s just typical of an academic.’ Impose solutions ‘What you need to do is..’ ‘There’s only one possible way forward.’
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Competing: how it sounds
Avoid concerns ‘That’s not the point.’ ‘I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.’ ‘What do you expect me to do about it?’ ‘That’s ridiculous.’ Give negative message ‘… not possible.’ ‘…not our policy.’ ‘Nothing I can do.’ Be defensive ‘…not my fault.’ ‘I wasn’t informed of that.’ ‘That’s not true.’
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How to manage conflict Effective decision-making Improved performance
Honest, direct communication Joint problem-solving Sharing information Creative energy Mutual respect Assertiveness How to manage conflict Effective decision-making Improved performance Collaborative effort Commitment Trust Motivation Calmness Energy
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Stages of development of conflict
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Reduce risk of conflict
Watch when banter turns sour Address underlying tensions before they escalate Keep an eye on workloads Support employees under stress Set clear objectives Manage underperformance firmly and fairly Communicate clearly Have regular informal 1-1s
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