1. Establishing Healthy Relationships
BOUNDARIES
Establishing Healthy Relationships

2. What is a Boundary?
Physical Boundaries
Relational Boundaries
Spiritual Boundaries
Legal Boundaries
Boundaries define us - show where I end and someone else begins.

3. Why do we need boundaries?
Establish roles and expectations in relationships
Establishes who is responsible
Galatians 6:2
“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”
Galatians 6:5
“We must each carry our own load.”

4. Why do we need boundaries?
PROTECTS from temptations
Allows people around you to GROW
Helps develop trust and interdependence= CONNECTION
Creates FREEDOM
Helps people achieve their goals.

5. The Fundamentals of Boundaries
Boundaries are innate- natural to every being.
Setting boundaries is not disrespectful, bad or wrong.
Boundaries help us feel safe in our environment and protect us from hurt
Boundaries help others feel secure in your relationship
Boundaries help others show care and respect

6. When Are Boundaries Difficult?
Fear of abandonment, loss of love
Fear of confrontation, anger
Guilt
Payback
Need for Approval
Adult boundary problems are often old boundary problems from childhood

7. Setting Appropriate Boundaries
Care-givers are typically sensitive hearted and prone to take on other people’s problems. We are to LOVE one another- not BE one another I can’t grow FOR you. I can grow WITH you.

8. Clarifying Responsibility from Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands by Paul Tripp
Concern
Responsibility

9. Steps to Appropriate Boundaries
Consistency
Practice
Communicate: Clearly, calmly, firmly, respectfully

10. Phase I: Personal Awareness
Recognize and acknowledge your own feelings
Recognize how your boundaries have been crossed
Recognize how you need to set a limit: time, space, actions
The better your boundaries of self-awareness and self-definition are,
the greater your capacity to offer empathy and love to others.

11. Phase II: Setting Boundaries With Others
Inform
Request
Instruct
Warn (if needed)
Take A Stand
Time Out
Revisit/ Extend Time Out/ Terminate

12. Titus 3:10
As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him.

13. Resistance to Boundaries
Anger
Guilt messages
Countermoves
Physical overpowering
Pain
Blame

14. Warning Signs You are working harder than they are Physical reactions
Isolation/Avoidance
Seeking relief

15. Key Factors to Healthy Boundaries
Confidentiality
Independence vs Co-Dependence
Care (Self Care)
Your Health- sleep, nutrition, exercise
Your Relationships- spouse, children, family, friends
Your Growth- prayer, replenish, enjoyment
Know when to ask for help/refer to a professional

16. Boundaries in the Bible
God is separate from His creation
God has clearly instructed us to believe in certain things
The Bible says we should have boundaries is where we find our identity
The Bible instructs us to have boundaries with our thoughts
The Bible shows boundaries in relationships

17. Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference

18. Resources Boundaries: Dr Henry Cloud & Dr John Townsend
Jesus Set Boundaries, Bill Gaultiere,
5 Benefits of Personal Boundaries, Mark Ballenger,
Boundary Basics, Sue Bohlin,