1. 5.17 Metaphors Can Convey Big Ideas

2. CONNECTION How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
How do you find the right words to say what you want?

3. TEACHING POINT
Today I want to teach you that writers often take a tiny detail from their lives and let that one detail represent the whole big message.

4. TEACHING
Patricia MacLaughlin once said every book she writes is in some way about a child’s longing for home. Once, after she’d moved and was having trouble writing, Patti told a school she was having trouble. She always carries a bag of prairie dirt with her to remind her of her childhood home. She said maybe she should throw it into her new yard, so the places would mix. A child told her no, and that she needed to keep the dirt in a bowl where she could see it to write. She used that child’s advice and used it in her memoir.
Here is a piece from that memoir…

5. TEACHING
Mama says the baby would miss me If I stay My Mama says how will he know about the way the Cottonwood leaves rattle when it’s dry, If I don’t tell him. And how will he know Uncle Bly’s songs, If I don’t sing them. What you know first stays with you, my Papa says. But just in case I forget I will take a twig of the cottonwood tree I will take a little bag of prairie dirt I cannot take the sky.

6. TEACHING
Mama says the baby would miss me If I stay My Mama says how will he know about the way the Cottonwood leaves rattle when it’s dry, If I don’t tell him. And how will he know Uncle Bly’s songs, If I don’t sing them. What you know first stays with you, my Papa says. But just in case I forget I will take a twig of the cottonwood tree I will take a little bag of prairie dirt I cannot take the sky.
MacLaughlin found one specific object and one line of dialogue and used those two things to represent ideas that are too big for ordinary words.

7. ACTIVE ENGAGEMENT
Can you help Justin bring out the metaphor that is right under the surface?
Justin starts by telling the time in second grade when Danny, a struggling student, read aloud. His story starts, “Hearing him read was the funniest thing in the world to me,” and then Justin talks about someone else making fun of the boy. After snack, another girl read really well. Then it was Justin’s turn to read…

8. ACTIVE ENGAGEMENT
“Justin, your turn,” Mrs. S. said. I stepped up and walked to the brown chair. I sat down. Chills scattered through my bones as I cradled the book in my hands like a feather floating down the water. My stomach was tossed around. I opened my mouth…and nothing came out. I tried again as if every word on page 106, chapter 8 would come stumbling out. Still nothing. I tried one last time. Only a squeak came out. I wish all my troubles disappeared like a popped bubble. They stared laughing, then, “Stop! You can’t laugh at someone if they did not laugh at you!” I could not believe it. Thanks, Danny. He stood up for me after he had no reason. The teacher lost her temper and ended reading short. I got up and walked over to my locker.

9. ACTIVE ENGAGEMENT
“Justin, your turn,” Mrs. S. said. I stepped up and walked to the brown chair. I sat down. Chills scattered through my bones as I cradled the book in my hands like a feather floating down the water. My stomach was tossed around. I opened my mouth…and nothing came out. I tried again as if every word on page 106, chapter 8 would come stumbling out. Still nothing. I tried one last time. Only a squeak came out. I wish all my troubles disappeared like a popped bubble. They stared laughing, then, “Stop! You can’t laugh at someone if they did not laugh at you!” I could not believe it. Thanks, Danny. He stood up for me after he had no reason. The teacher lost her temper and ended reading short. I got up and walked over to my locker.
Justin wants to show that he started to be friends with Danny.
What could Justin have someone do or say at the end to show that they became friends? This should be a metaphor. Turn and talk.

10. ACTIVE ENGAGEMENT Justin could offer food to Danny out of his lunch.
Could look at something Danny has and compliment it.
Justin could ask if Danny wants to come over later.
What Justin wrote…
I shut my locker and walked down the hall with Danny talking. “So, friend, what’s new?”

11. MIDWORKSHOP
One way to make a powerful line is to repeat it across a piece of writing.
Sandra Cisneros repeats “Mama is making a cake for me tonight, and when Papa comes home everybody will sing Happy birthday, happy birthday to you.” Every time you read it, it gets more powerful!
See if you could find a line that could be highlighted in your piece. Think about where else you might write it so it helps your ideas stand out.

12. SHARE
Remember Adam who was writing about saying goodbye to his brother Jon? Adam realized he’d made references to the mournful sound of Jon’s bassoon but that he hadn’t written about Jon’s hat. He added that hat into an earlier section of the draft. Then he used it for his ending too.
Jon rolled his window down and motioned me over. I walked up to the car, not sure what to say or do. He gave me a little punch, but this time I didn’t mind. “I’ll miss you,” he said.
“Yeah, me too,” I said. He handed me his hat.
The car pulled down the driveway. I knew my childhood with my brother was ending this very moment. My brother opened the sunroof and waved his hand. I waved back even though he probably couldn’t see me. The car made a left and climbed the hill til it was out of sight. I walked to the end of the driveway to see if I could get one last glimpse of the car. I knew Jon was moving on. It will be only a matter of time before he has graduated from college, gets married and has kids.
I stood there for a moment, then slowly made my way back up the driveway. I remembered I was holding Jon’s Penn hat, and put it on backwards just as he always did. I walked to his room and sat down on his bed. I squeezed his pillow and looked for any sign that Jon was once there. I picked up Jon’s bassoon and put each piece together the way Jon had taught me. I went over to the chair Jon always sat in when he played, and I played the deep mournful sound I had heard coming from his room so many times.

13. SHARE
What message do you want your metaphor to send? What do you want your metaphor to tell people? Do you want a message of hope? Then look across your lawn and see the sun rising! Do you want to say that you’ve ended a chapter in your life? Then say goodbye and don’t look back! Turn and help your partner with your ending metaphor.