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Language Paper 1 OBJECTIVES: To revise how to approach this question
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Language preparation:
Our lessons will now be focused on Language Paper 1 in preparation for your mock- particularly Q3 and 4. Language paper 1 mock- 6th March Language paper 2 mock- 5th March There will be a paper 2 revision session with me, afterschool, on Wednesday 4th March So , let’s remind ourselves of the different questions for this paper
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Paper 1 recap- which question? You can use your placemats for this
This question is worth 4 marks and you just list 4 things about a section of the text For this question you need to focus on the STRUCTURE of the text For these questions you need to write in a clear PEEF structure You should spend 25 minutes on this question This question is worth 20 marks This question is: How does the writer use language…? This question is: Someone has said …. about the text. To what extent do you agree? These questions are worth 8 marks This question requires you to look at the WHOLE source These questions direct you to a SECTION of the text ONLY These questions need you to ANALYSE LANGUAGE
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Paper 1 recap- which question? You can use your placemats for this
This question is worth 4 marks and you just list 4 things about a section of the text For this question you need to focus on the STRUCTURE of the text For these questions you need to write in a clear PEEF structure You should spend 25 minutes on this question This question is worth 20 marks This question is: How does the writer use language…? This question is: Someone has said …. about the text. To what extent do you agree? These questions are worth 8 marks This question requires you to look at the WHOLE source These questions direct you to a SECTION of the text ONLY These questions need you to ANALYSE LANGUAGE 1 3 2 + 4 4 4 2 4 2 + 3 3 1,2,4 2 + 4
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Question 3 (whole text question)
Structure
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Question 3- it will always be this…
You now need to think about the whole of the source. How has the writer structured the text to interest you as a reader? You could write about: • what the writer focuses your attention on at the beginning • how and why the writer changes this focus as the extract develops • any other structural features that interest you. [8 marks]
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Q3- Key words: Your focus is on structure NOT language techniques
You need to read the entire source carefully for this question You now need to think about the whole of the source. How has the writer structured the text to interest you as a reader? You could write about: • what the writer focuses your attention on at the beginning • how and why the writer changes this focus as the extract develops • any other structural features that interest you. [8 marks] How does it start? - Setting? Character? Dialogue? What happens in the text- are there turning points? You must refer to the READER’s REACTIONS
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You need to look at 3 parts of the text!
1 O________ of the Text: How does it begin? What is the focus? What does it make the reader think/feel? 2 C___________ in Focus: How does it progress? More tense? Exciting? What does the text change focus to? What does it make the reader think/feel now? 3 E___________ of the T_______: How does it end? What is the focus? Is the reader satisfied or are they asking questions? Is it different or similar to how the text started?
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Opening of the Text: Change in Focus: Ending of the Text: 1
How does it begin? What is the focus? What does it make the reader think/feel? 2 Change in Focus: How does it progress? More tense? Exciting? What does the text change focus to? What does it make the reader think/feel now? 3 Ending of the Text: How does it end? What is the focus? Is the reader satisfied or are they asking questions? Is it different or similar to how the text started?
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The Whole Town’s Sleeping
Let’s look at a new source: The Whole Town’s Sleeping This extract is from the middle of the text ‘The Whole Town’s Sleeping’ and centres on a lonely woman walking across a dark ravine at night... with a killer on the loose. Author: Ray Bradbury Published: 1950
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Let’s remind ourselves of the question:
Now read the source You now need to think about the whole of the source. How has the writer structured the text to interest you as a reader? You could write about: • what the writer focuses your attention on at the beginning • how and why the writer changes this focus as the extract develops • any other structural features that interest you. [8 marks] How does it start? What happens in the middle? How does it end?
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1 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 Silence. A summer-night silence which lay for a thousand miles, which covered the earth like a white and shadowy sea. Faster, faster! She went down the steps. Run! Only a little way, she prayed. One hundred eight, nine, one hundred ten steps! The bottom! Now, run! Across the bridge! She told her legs what to do, her arms, her body, her terror; she advised all parts of herself in this white and terrible moment, over the roaring creek waters, on the hollow, thudding, swaying almost alive, resilient bridge planks she ran, followed by the wild footsteps behind, behind. He’s following. Don’t turn, don’t look! If you see him, you’ll not be able to move, you’ll be so frightened. Just run, run! She ran across the bridge. Oh, God, God, please, please let me get up the hill! Now up the path, now between the hills, oh God, it’s dark, and everything so far away. If I screamed now it wouldn’t help; I can’t scream anyway. Here’s the top of the path, here’s the street, oh, God, please let me be safe, if I get home safe I’ll never go out alone; I was a fool, let me admit it, I was a fool, I didn’t know what terror was, but if you let me get home from this I’ll never go without Helen or Francine again! Here’s the street. Across the street! She crossed the street and rushed up the sidewalk. Oh God, the porch! My house! Oh God, please give me time to get inside and lock the door and I’ll be safe! And there—silly thing to notice—why did she notice, instantly, no time, no time—but there it was anyway, flashing by—there on the porch rail, the half-filled glass of lemonade she had abandoned a long time, a year, half an evening ago! The lemonade glass sitting calmly, imperturbably there on the rail and . . . She heard her clumsy feet on the porch and listened and felt her hands scrabbling and ripping at the lock with the key. She heard her heart. She heard her inner voice screaming. The key fit. Unlock the door, quick, quick! The door opened. Now - inside! Slam it! She slammed the door. “Now lock it, bar it, lock it!” she gasped wretchedly. “Lock it, tight, tight!” The door was locked and bolted tight. She listened to her heart again and the sound of it diminishing into silence. Home! Oh God, safe at home! Safe, safe and safe at home! She slumped against the door. Safe, safe. Listen. Not a sound. Safe, safe, oh thank God, safe at home. I’ll never go out at night again. I’ll stay home. I won’t go over that ravine again ever. Safe, oh safe, safe home, so good, so good, safe! Safe inside, the door locked. Wait. Look out the window. She looked. Why, there’s no one there at all! Nobody. There was nobody following me at all. Nobody running after me. She got her breath and almost laughed at herself. It stands to reason. If a man had been following me, he’d have caught me! I’m not a fast runner There’s no-one on the porch or in the yard. How silly of me. I wasn’t running from anything. That ravine’s as safe as anyplace. Just the same, it’s nice to be home. Home’s the really good warm place, the only place to be. She put her hand out to the light switch and stopped. “What?” she asked. “What, what?” Behind her in the living room, someone cleared his throat. 2 3 PRINT this 4
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The focus of which section? Write it into the correct section
The focus shifts to the inner thoughts of the character. We realise the woman thinks she is being stalked. The focus then shifts to the woman struggling to unlock the door to her home. The reader thinks she is safe. This is the climax- an unexpected and frightening twist. She is not safe! The cliff-hanger is not knowing what happens next. The setting is established and then the main character is introduced- a frightened woman.
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1 The setting is established and then the main character is introduced- a frightened woman. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 Silence. A summer-night silence which lay for a thousand miles, which covered the earth like a white and shadowy sea. Faster, faster! She went down the steps. Run! Only a little way, she prayed. One hundred eight, nine, one hundred ten steps! The bottom! Now, run! Across the bridge! She told her legs what to do, her arms, her body, her terror; she advised all parts of herself in this white and terrible moment, over the roaring creek waters, on the hollow, thudding, swaying almost alive, resilient bridge planks she ran, followed by the wild footsteps behind, behind. He’s following. Don’t turn, don’t look! If you see him, you’ll not be able to move, you’ll be so frightened. Just run, run! She ran across the bridge. Oh, God, God, please, please let me get up the hill! Now up the path, now between the hills, oh God, it’s dark, and everything so far away. If I screamed now it wouldn’t help; I can’t scream anyway. Here’s the top of the path, here’s the street, oh, God, please let me be safe, if I get home safe I’ll never go out alone; I was a fool, let me admit it, I was a fool, I didn’t know what terror was, but if you let me get home from this I’ll never go without Helen or Francine again! Here’s the street. Across the street! She crossed the street and rushed up the sidewalk. Oh God, the porch! My house! Oh God, please give me time to get inside and lock the door and I’ll be safe! And there—silly thing to notice—why did she notice, instantly, no time, no time—but there it was anyway, flashing by—there on the porch rail, the half-filled glass of lemonade she had abandoned a long time, a year, half an evening ago! The lemonade glass sitting calmly, imperturbably there on the rail and . . . She heard her clumsy feet on the porch and listened and felt her hands scrabbling and ripping at the lock with the key. She heard her heart. She heard her inner voice screaming. The key fit. Unlock the door, quick, quick! The door opened. Now - inside! Slam it! She slammed the door. “Now lock it, bar it, lock it!” she gasped wretchedly. “Lock it, tight, tight!” The door was locked and bolted tight. She listened to her heart again and the sound of it diminishing into silence. Home! Oh God, safe at home! Safe, safe and safe at home! She slumped against the door. Safe, safe. Listen. Not a sound. Safe, safe, oh thank God, safe at home. I’ll never go out at night again. I’ll stay home. I won’t go over that ravine again ever. Safe, oh safe, safe home, so good, so good, safe! Safe inside, the door locked. Wait. Look out the window. She looked. Why, there’s no one there at all! Nobody. There was nobody following me at all. Nobody running after me. She got her breath and almost laughed at herself. It stands to reason. If a man had been following me, he’d have caught me! I’m not a fast runner There’s no-one on the porch or in the yard. How silly of me. I wasn’t running from anything. That ravine’s as safe as anyplace. Just the same, it’s nice to be home. Home’s the really good warm place, the only place to be. She put her hand out to the light switch and stopped. “What?” she asked. “What, what?” Behind her in the living room, someone cleared his throat. 2 The focus shifts to the inner thoughts of the character. We realise the woman thinks she is being stalked. 3 The focus then shifts to the woman struggling to unlock the door to her home. The reader thinks she is safe. This is the climax- an unexpected and frightening twist. She is not safe! The cliff-hanger is not knowing what happens next. 4
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Which is the best quote to use? Only a little way she prayed
1 The setting is established and then the main character is introduced- a frightened woman. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 Silence. A summer-night silence which lay for a thousand miles, which covered the earth like a white and shadowy sea. Faster, faster! She went down the steps. Run! Only a little way, she prayed. One hundred eight, nine, one hundred ten steps! The bottom! Now, run! Across the bridge! She told her legs what to do, her arms, her body, her terror; she advised all parts of herself in this white and terrible moment, over the roaring creek waters, on the hollow, thudding, swaying almost alive, resilient bridge planks she ran, followed by the wild footsteps behind, behind. He’s following. Don’t turn, don’t look! If you see him, you’ll not be able to move, you’ll be so frightened. Just run, run! She ran across the bridge. Oh, God, God, please, please let me get up the hill! Now up the path, now between the hills, oh God, it’s dark, and everything so far away. If I screamed now it wouldn’t help; I can’t scream anyway. Here’s the top of the path, here’s the street, oh, God, please let me be safe, if I get home safe I’ll never go out alone; I was a fool, let me admit it, I was a fool, I didn’t know what terror was, but if you let me get home from this I’ll never go without Helen or Francine again! Here’s the street. Across the street! She crossed the street and rushed up the sidewalk. Oh God, the porch! My house! Oh God, please give me time to get inside and lock the door and I’ll be safe! And there—silly thing to notice—why did she notice, instantly, no time, no time—but there it was anyway, flashing by—there on the porch rail, the half-filled glass of lemonade she had abandoned a long time, a year, half an evening ago! The lemonade glass sitting calmly, imperturbably there on the rail and . . . She heard her clumsy feet on the porch and listened and felt her hands scrabbling and ripping at the lock with the key. She heard her heart. She heard her inner voice screaming. The key fit. Unlock the door, quick, quick! The door opened. Now - inside! Slam it! She slammed the door. “Now lock it, bar it, lock it!” she gasped wretchedly. “Lock it, tight, tight!” The door was locked and bolted tight. She listened to her heart again and the sound of it diminishing into silence. Home! Oh God, safe at home! Safe, safe and safe at home! She slumped against the door. Safe, safe. Listen. Not a sound. Safe, safe, oh thank God, safe at home. I’ll never go out at night again. I’ll stay home. I won’t go over that ravine again ever. Safe, oh safe, safe home, so good, so good, safe! Safe inside, the door locked. Wait. Look out the window. She looked. Why, there’s no one there at all! Nobody. There was nobody following me at all. Nobody running after me. She got her breath and almost laughed at herself. It stands to reason. If a man had been following me, he’d have caught me! I’m not a fast runner There’s no-one on the porch or in the yard. How silly of me. I wasn’t running from anything. That ravine’s as safe as anyplace. Just the same, it’s nice to be home. Home’s the really good warm place, the only place to be. She put her hand out to the light switch and stopped. “What?” she asked. “What, what?” Behind her in the living room, someone cleared his throat. We now need to highlight a quote to support our opening structure point: Which is the best quote to use? Only a little way she prayed Now run! Across the bridge! A summer night silence Silence! She told her legs what to do Faster, faster! She went down the steps.
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‘faster, faster! She went down the steps.’
1 The setting is established and then the main character is introduced- a frightened woman. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 Silence. A summer-night silence which lay for a thousand miles, which covered the earth like a white and shadowy sea. Faster, faster! She went down the steps. Run! Only a little way, she prayed. One hundred eight, nine, one hundred ten steps! The bottom! Now, run! Across the bridge! She told her legs what to do, her arms, her body, her terror; she advised all parts of herself in this white and terrible moment, over the roaring creek waters, on the hollow, thudding, swaying almost alive, resilient bridge planks she ran, followed by the wild footsteps behind, behind. He’s following. Don’t turn, don’t look! If you see him, you’ll not be able to move, you’ll be so frightened. Just run, run! She ran across the bridge. Oh, God, God, please, please let me get up the hill! Now up the path, now between the hills, oh God, it’s dark, and everything so far away. If I screamed now it wouldn’t help; I can’t scream anyway. Here’s the top of the path, here’s the street, oh, God, please let me be safe, if I get home safe I’ll never go out alone; I was a fool, let me admit it, I was a fool, I didn’t know what terror was, but if you let me get home from this I’ll never go without Helen or Francine again! Here’s the street. Across the street! She crossed the street and rushed up the sidewalk. Oh God, the porch! My house! Oh God, please give me time to get inside and lock the door and I’ll be safe! And there—silly thing to notice—why did she notice, instantly, no time, no time—but there it was anyway, flashing by—there on the porch rail, the half-filled glass of lemonade she had abandoned a long time, a year, half an evening ago! The lemonade glass sitting calmly, imperturbably there on the rail and . . . She heard her clumsy feet on the porch and listened and felt her hands scrabbling and ripping at the lock with the key. She heard her heart. She heard her inner voice screaming. The key fit. Unlock the door, quick, quick! The door opened. Now - inside! Slam it! She slammed the door. “Now lock it, bar it, lock it!” she gasped wretchedly. “Lock it, tight, tight!” The door was locked and bolted tight. She listened to her heart again and the sound of it diminishing into silence. Home! Oh God, safe at home! Safe, safe and safe at home! She slumped against the door. Safe, safe. Listen. Not a sound. Safe, safe, oh thank God, safe at home. I’ll never go out at night again. I’ll stay home. I won’t go over that ravine again ever. Safe, oh safe, safe home, so good, so good, safe! Safe inside, the door locked. Wait. Look out the window. She looked. Why, there’s no one there at all! Nobody. There was nobody following me at all. Nobody running after me. She got her breath and almost laughed at herself. It stands to reason. If a man had been following me, he’d have caught me! I’m not a fast runner There’s no-one on the porch or in the yard. How silly of me. I wasn’t running from anything. That ravine’s as safe as anyplace. Just the same, it’s nice to be home. Home’s the really good warm place, the only place to be. She put her hand out to the light switch and stopped. “What?” she asked. “What, what?” Behind her in the living room, someone cleared his throat. Middle of the action- exciting and fast paced. Tension is building due to short sentences. Character afraid and fearful Reader- intrigued/worried for her: what is she running from? What would you say about how this quote INTERESTS the reader? ‘faster, faster! She went down the steps.’ Why has the text opened in this way?
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‘oh, God, please let me be safe’
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 Silence. A summer-night silence which lay for a thousand miles, which covered the earth like a white and shadowy sea. Faster, faster! She went down the steps. Run! Only a little way, she prayed. One hundred eight, nine, one hundred ten steps! The bottom! Now, run! Across the bridge! She told her legs what to do, her arms, her body, her terror; she advised all parts of herself in this white and terrible moment, over the roaring creek waters, on the hollow, thudding, swaying almost alive, resilient bridge planks she ran, followed by the wild footsteps behind, behind. He’s following. Don’t turn, don’t look! If you see him, you’ll not be able to move, you’ll be so frightened. Just run, run! She ran across the bridge. Oh, God, God, please, please let me get up the hill! Now up the path, now between the hills, oh God, it’s dark, and everything so far away. If I screamed now it wouldn’t help; I can’t scream anyway. Here’s the top of the path, here’s the street, oh, God, please let me be safe, if I get home safe I’ll never go out alone; I was a fool, let me admit it, I was a fool, I didn’t know what terror was, but if you let me get home from this I’ll never go without Helen or Francine again! Here’s the street. Across the street! She crossed the street and rushed up the sidewalk. Oh God, the porch! My house! Oh God, please give me time to get inside and lock the door and I’ll be safe! And there—silly thing to notice—why did she notice, instantly, no time, no time—but there it was anyway, flashing by—there on the porch rail, the half-filled glass of lemonade she had abandoned a long time, a year, half an evening ago! The lemonade glass sitting calmly, imperturbably there on the rail and . . . She heard her clumsy feet on the porch and listened and felt her hands scrabbling and ripping at the lock with the key. She heard her heart. She heard her inner voice screaming. The key fit. Unlock the door, quick, quick! The door opened. Now - inside! Slam it! She slammed the door. “Now lock it, bar it, lock it!” she gasped wretchedly. “Lock it, tight, tight!” The door was locked and bolted tight. She listened to her heart again and the sound of it diminishing into silence. Home! Oh God, safe at home! Safe, safe and safe at home! She slumped against the door. Safe, safe. Listen. Not a sound. Safe, safe, oh thank God, safe at home. I’ll never go out at night again. I’ll stay home. I won’t go over that ravine again ever. Safe, oh safe, safe home, so good, so good, safe! Safe inside, the door locked. Wait. Look out the window. She looked. Why, there’s no one there at all! Nobody. There was nobody following me at all. Nobody running after me. She got her breath and almost laughed at herself. It stands to reason. If a man had been following me, he’d have caught me! I’m not a fast runner There’s no-one on the porch or in the yard. How silly of me. I wasn’t running from anything. That ravine’s as safe as anyplace. Just the same, it’s nice to be home. Home’s the really good warm place, the only place to be. She put her hand out to the light switch and stopped. “What?” she asked. “What, what?” Behind her in the living room, someone cleared his throat. 2 The focus shifts to the inner thoughts of the character. We realise the woman thinks she is being stalked. What quote would you highlight here? What would you say about how this quote INTERESTS the reader? ‘oh, God, please let me be safe’ Why does this quote reveal?
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‘Safe, oh safe, safe home, so good, so good, safe!’
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 Silence. A summer-night silence which lay for a thousand miles, which covered the earth like a white and shadowy sea. Faster, faster! She went down the steps. Run! Only a little way, she prayed. One hundred eight, nine, one hundred ten steps! The bottom! Now, run! Across the bridge! She told her legs what to do, her arms, her body, her terror; she advised all parts of herself in this white and terrible moment, over the roaring creek waters, on the hollow, thudding, swaying almost alive, resilient bridge planks she ran, followed by the wild footsteps behind, behind. He’s following. Don’t turn, don’t look! If you see him, you’ll not be able to move, you’ll be so frightened. Just run, run! She ran across the bridge. Oh, God, God, please, please let me get up the hill! Now up the path, now between the hills, oh God, it’s dark, and everything so far away. If I screamed now it wouldn’t help; I can’t scream anyway. Here’s the top of the path, here’s the street, oh, God, please let me be safe, if I get home safe I’ll never go out alone; I was a fool, let me admit it, I was a fool, I didn’t know what terror was, but if you let me get home from this I’ll never go without Helen or Francine again! Here’s the street. Across the street! She crossed the street and rushed up the sidewalk. Oh God, the porch! My house! Oh God, please give me time to get inside and lock the door and I’ll be safe! And there—silly thing to notice—why did she notice, instantly, no time, no time—but there it was anyway, flashing by—there on the porch rail, the half-filled glass of lemonade she had abandoned a long time, a year, half an evening ago! The lemonade glass sitting calmly, imperturbably there on the rail and . . . She heard her clumsy feet on the porch and listened and felt her hands scrabbling and ripping at the lock with the key. She heard her heart. She heard her inner voice screaming. The key fit. Unlock the door, quick, quick! The door opened. Now - inside! Slam it! She slammed the door. “Now lock it, bar it, lock it!” she gasped wretchedly. “Lock it, tight, tight!” The door was locked and bolted tight. She listened to her heart again and the sound of it diminishing into silence. Home! Oh God, safe at home! Safe, safe and safe at home! She slumped against the door. Safe, safe. Listen. Not a sound. Safe, safe, oh thank God, safe at home. I’ll never go out at night again. I’ll stay home. I won’t go over that ravine again ever. Safe, oh safe, safe home, so good, so good, safe! Safe inside, the door locked. Wait. Look out the window. She looked. Why, there’s no one there at all! Nobody. There was nobody following me at all. Nobody running after me. She got her breath and almost laughed at herself. It stands to reason. If a man had been following me, he’d have caught me! I’m not a fast runner There’s no-one on the porch or in the yard. How silly of me. I wasn’t running from anything. That ravine’s as safe as anyplace. Just the same, it’s nice to be home. Home’s the really good warm place, the only place to be. She put her hand out to the light switch and stopped. “What?” she asked. “What, what?” Behind her in the living room, someone cleared his throat. What would you say about how this quote INTERESTS the reader? ‘Safe, oh safe, safe home, so good, so good, safe!’ Why does this quote reveal? 3 The focus then shifts to the woman struggling to unlock the door to her home. The reader thinks she is safe.
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Behind her in the living room, someone cleared his throat
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 Silence. A summer-night silence which lay for a thousand miles, which covered the earth like a white and shadowy sea. Faster, faster! She went down the steps. Run! Only a little way, she prayed. One hundred eight, nine, one hundred ten steps! The bottom! Now, run! Across the bridge! She told her legs what to do, her arms, her body, her terror; she advised all parts of herself in this white and terrible moment, over the roaring creek waters, on the hollow, thudding, swaying almost alive, resilient bridge planks she ran, followed by the wild footsteps behind, behind. He’s following. Don’t turn, don’t look! If you see him, you’ll not be able to move, you’ll be so frightened. Just run, run! She ran across the bridge. Oh, God, God, please, please let me get up the hill! Now up the path, now between the hills, oh God, it’s dark, and everything so far away. If I screamed now it wouldn’t help; I can’t scream anyway. Here’s the top of the path, here’s the street, oh, God, please let me be safe, if I get home safe I’ll never go out alone; I was a fool, let me admit it, I was a fool, I didn’t know what terror was, but if you let me get home from this I’ll never go without Helen or Francine again! Here’s the street. Across the street! She crossed the street and rushed up the sidewalk. Oh God, the porch! My house! Oh God, please give me time to get inside and lock the door and I’ll be safe! And there—silly thing to notice—why did she notice, instantly, no time, no time—but there it was anyway, flashing by—there on the porch rail, the half-filled glass of lemonade she had abandoned a long time, a year, half an evening ago! The lemonade glass sitting calmly, imperturbably there on the rail and . . . She heard her clumsy feet on the porch and listened and felt her hands scrabbling and ripping at the lock with the key. She heard her heart. She heard her inner voice screaming. The key fit. Unlock the door, quick, quick! The door opened. Now - inside! Slam it! She slammed the door. “Now lock it, bar it, lock it!” she gasped wretchedly. “Lock it, tight, tight!” The door was locked and bolted tight. She listened to her heart again and the sound of it diminishing into silence. Home! Oh God, safe at home! Safe, safe and safe at home! She slumped against the door. Safe, safe. Listen. Not a sound. Safe, safe, oh thank God, safe at home. I’ll never go out at night again. I’ll stay home. I won’t go over that ravine again ever. Safe, oh safe, safe home, so good, so good, safe! Safe inside, the door locked. Wait. Look out the window. She looked. Why, there’s no one there at all! Nobody. There was nobody following me at all. Nobody running after me. She got her breath and almost laughed at herself. It stands to reason. If a man had been following me, he’d have caught me! I’m not a fast runner There’s no-one on the porch or in the yard. How silly of me. I wasn’t running from anything. That ravine’s as safe as anyplace. Just the same, it’s nice to be home. Home’s the really good warm place, the only place to be. She put her hand out to the light switch and stopped. “What?” she asked. “What, what?” Behind her in the living room, someone cleared his throat. What would you say about how this quote INTERESTS the reader? Behind her in the living room, someone cleared his throat Why does this quote reveal? This is the climax- an unexpected and frightening twist. She is not safe! The cliff-hanger is not knowing what happens next. 4
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Opening PEES Highlight the key structure words, and words that relate to the reader The writer has structured the text to interest the reader by opening in the middle of the action, with a girl running away from something/someone. This is demonstrated in the quote ‘Faster, faster! She went down the steps.’ The pace here is fast and energetic due to the short sentences and tension begins to build. It seems she is outside, alone and afraid. By opening the text in this way, it makes the reader feel intrigued as we wonder what/who is frightening the girl. At the same time, however, we are also worried and concerned for her safety. P E E S
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Opening PEES Highlight the key structure words, and words that relate to the reader The writer has structured the text to interest the reader by opening in the middle of the action, with a girl running away from something/someone. This is demonstrated in the quote ‘Faster, faster! She went down the steps.’ The pace here is fast and energetic due to the short sentences and tension begins to build. It seems she is outside, alone and afraid. By opening the text in this way, it makes the reader feel intrigued as we wonder what/who is frightening the girl. At the same time, however, we are also worried and concerned for her safety. P E E S
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It’s your turn You should use your placements
Choose 1 quote from the middle of the text and write a PEES paragraph Remember to refer to reader reactions and structure words Useful phrases include: The pace increases/slows.. Change in focus/shifts in focus The reader feels/realises.. The use of short sentences creates.. There is a sudden/gradual change in… This interests the reader as…
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Now peer-assess Clear PEES paragraph structure and no waffle.
Clear PEES paragraph structure and no waffle. Use of structure words References to the reader’s reaction Spotting links across the text- how the plot develops Long enough
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