1. Apply Your Best Listening Skills
Chapter Three
Apply Your Best Listening Skills

2. Quote for the Chapter “No man ever listened himself out of a job.”
Calvin Coolidge

3. Objectives Know the difference between hearing and listening.
Know internal, environmental, and interactional factors that complicate the listening process.
Assess your own listening skills and set goals for improvement.
Avoid five particularly ineffective behaviors that inhibit effective listening.
Employ four simple, positive approaches to enhance your active listening.

4. Doesn’t Anybody Ever Listen?
It’s easy to hear what the customer says, but great customer service begins with great listening skills.

5. Poor Listening = The #1 Communication Problem
Of the four basic communication skills
Reading
Writing
Speaking
Listening
One is not formally taught

6. The difference between listening and hearing
Hearing is a purely physical activity
Listening involves the physiological process

7. What Are Your Listening Habits?
How often do you find yourself relying on these ten bad listening habits?
Pg. 42

8. Listening Style People-oriented Content-oriented Action-oriented
Time-oriented

9. People-Oriented show a strong concern for others and their feelings
get their energy from others and find much meaning in relationships
seek to understand the life stories of others
focus on emotions, be empathetic and use appeal to emotion in their arguments
may seem vulnerable and will use this to show that they are harmless.
can find problems when they become overly involved with others
may associate so strongly with others they do not see limitations and faults
may be drawn into unwise relationships
may be seen as intrusive when they seek to connect with others who are not so relationship-oriented

10. Content-oriented
interested more in what is said rather than who is saying it or what they are feeling
assess people more by how credible they are and will seek to test expertise and truthfulness
focus on facts and evidence and happily probe into detail
cautious in their assessment
seeking to understand cause-and-effect and sound proof before accepting anything as true
look for both pros and cons in arguments and seek solid logical argument
can run into trouble when they ignore the ideas
reject information because it does not have sufficient supporting evidence

11. Action-oriented
interested first on what will be done, what actions will happen, when and who will do them
seek 'so what' answers in their questions and look for plans of action
like clear, crisp descriptions and answers that are grounded in concrete reality
like structure, bullet-points and numbered action items
can be impatient and hurry speakers towards conclusions
critical of people who start with the big picture and talk in ideas or concepts
appear overly concerned with control and less with the well-being of other people

12. Time-oriented have their eyes constantly on the clock
organize their day into neat compartments and will allocate time for listening, though will be very concerned if such sessions over-run
manage this time focus by talking about time available and seeking short answers which are to the point
may constrain and annoy people who are focused first on people elements and want to take as long as is needed

13. What Contributes to Listening?
Internal elements
Environmental elements
Interactional elements

14. Internal Elements Affecting Listening
The words or sounds used by the message source must be received by the hearer.
The words need to make sense.

15. Environmental Elements Affecting Listening
Our individual listening capacity
The presence of noise
The use, or misuse, of gatekeepers

16. Individual Listening Capacity
Too MUCH information
Too little information

17. The Presence of Noise

18. The Use or Misuse of Gatekeepers
Gatekeeper: one who previews incoming information to determine if it is appropriate to the needs of the person the message is aimed at

19. Interactional Elements Affecting Listening
Self-centeredness
Self-protection

20. Effects of Self-Centeredness Upon Listening
We sometimes listen just long enough to formulate our counterargument.

21. Effects of Self-Protection on Listening

22. Listening Habits to Avoid

23. Stop Talking
You can never become a better listener till you aren’t disciplined to be quiet until others have expressed their thought fully.

24. Prepare to Listen
Decide to set aside time so that you can focus on listening
Mentally disconnect from other matters playing on your mind

25. Avoid Faking Attention
The “wide asleep listener”
Eyes on speaker, mind elsewhere
Automatic nodding
Commit yourself to the conversation

26. Be Patient, Defer Disagreement
Changing channels
Tuning out
Be patient and listen

27. Listen for More than the Facts
Listen for feelings, impressions, and emotions
Listen for what they are not saying
People buy based on emotions and feelings
Go beyond the facts and words

28. Bite Your Tongue before Interrupting
We want the speaker to get to the point
We interrupt for clarification
We want information immediately
Be patient and wait for the speaker to finish

29. Do Men and Women Listen Differently?
Communicate to:
Compete with others
Dominate themselves
Says “mm hum”
I agree with you
Communicate to:
Build bonds
Be supportive
Be sympathetic
Says “mm hum”
Listening but doesn’t necessarily agree with the speaker

30. To improve listening effectiveness, take positive steps to better listening

31. Reinforce the Customer with Positive Nonverbal and Verbal Cues

32. Solicit clarification
Clarify tactfully
Don’t figure it out on your own
Don’t guess or interpret
Don’t worry about sounding uninformed
Take the time and make the effort to understand

33. Minimize the Number of Gatekeepers (whenever possible)
Avoid sending an intermediary to get a story for you
Avoid requesting that someone tell his or her story to your assistant and let that person synthesize the information for you

34. Try counter-attitudinal advocacy (CAA)
Take the other person’s position
Restate the position that is counter to your own
Defend that position
Ask if your interpretation is correct
If not, try again

35. Take Notes

36. Listening Game

37. Of all the sources of information we have when dealing with customers, listening is the most important.