1. Conflict

2. What is conflict? Conflict:
A disagreement between 2 or more people who have different ideas
It occurs in all relationships at 1 time or another
If not resolved:
Stress
Interfere with your well being

3. Healthy vs. Unhealthy When a relationship is healthy….
People talk about what is causing the conflict
Work together to find a solution
When a relationship is unhealthy…
Conflict can go unresolved
Unresolved conflict interferes with well being and can cause stress, depression, anger and resentment

4. Managing Conflict
Does not always mean eliminating the conflict completely
Instead…
Means you are able to recognize what is causing the conflict & that you can cope with it in an honest and respectful way.

5. Types of conflict
The way you respond to conflict depends on what it is & how it affects your well being
Minor and short lived:
Resolve by talking about them and coming to a compromise or agreement
Example:
Disagreeing with a co-worker about who should clean up the lunchroom

6. Types of conflict Serious or ongoing conflict: Example:
Refusing to promote a product your company sells or disagreeing with the way your supervisor treats co- workers
Often comes from conflicting values and could be difficult- or even impossible- to resolve
Solutions:
Agree to disagree
Other times, you may have to end the relationship

7. Causes of conflict: Any disagreement can cause conflict
Understanding what causes disagreements can help you resolve the conflict more quickly.
3 causes of conflict:
Differences in Values and standards
Ineffective communication and misunderstanding
Personal qualities like stubbornness
Differences in values and standards: your supervisor might schedule you to work on Sunday, but it is important to you to spend sundays with your family.
Ineffective communication and misunderstandings: if your supervisor doesn’t tell you that she will be alte for work, you might schedule a meeting for her. Then you are angry when you must change the schedule.
Conflict may be caused by personal qualities such as stubbornness or conceit. Your co-worker might refused to turn down the music volume when you are trying to talk to a customer on the phone

8. Resolving Conflict
You will be more successful in resolving or minimizing conflict by working with the other person!
Steps to take:
1. Together you can identify the disagreement or problem.
2. You can then negotiate
-Negotiate: discuss options that will lead to an agreement that satisfies everyone
3. Finally, you can compromise & select the implement the best solution

9. Tips for resolving conflict
Show respect & understanding for the other person
Remain calm & objective
Take responsibility for your own actions & feelings, without blaming anyone else.
Use effective communication
Ie: send a clear, concise message; listening carefully
Insults hurt & cause new conflict. You can attack the conflict without attacking the other person

10. Resolving conflict Hardest thing to do…
Apologize!
Even if you don’t think you caused the conflict or did anything wrong, you can apologize for making the other person feel bad.
If someone refuses to resolve the conflict or refuses to admit there is a problem then you will have to decided whether you need to take action on your own or just walk away.

11. Anger management
Conflict can make you mad and when you are angry you might not be reasonable or realistic about conflict
Tips:
Take a deep breath
Count to ten
Exercise
Identify your role in the conflict
Brainstorm solutions
Consider what you could say to start resolving the conflict
Ask someone you trust for advice
Once you calm down, you will be able to think critically about what is causing the conflict and how to resolve it.

12. Asserting yourself Positive way to cope with conflict:
Be assertive: Stand up for yourself!
Express your feelings & thoughts with confidence, in a strong, honest, & direct way
When you are assertive, you show others that you have a right to be treated with respect

13. Asserting your self Negative way to cope with conflict:
Be aggressive: force your opinion on others
You express your feelings and thoughts in a hostile, or angry, way.
When you are aggressive: shows others that you have no respect for their thoughts or feelings.

14. Unresolved Conflict Slowly eat away at a relationship
When you don’t speak up you can start to resent the other person
Resent: blame him for your unhappiness
Unless you speak up, you will not be able to resolve the conflict and move forward toward your common goals.

15. Which option do you pick?
Odors in the office
Scenario
Which option do you pick?
The co-worker who sits at the next desk wears a very strong cologne. It gives you a headache and makes it difficult for you to concentrate on your work. What steps can you take to successfully solve the problem?
Take lots of Advil to make your headache feel better
Sit at your desk & complain about it in a loud voice, hoping he will overhear you.
Leave an anonymous note about it on his desk
Buy him a brand of cologne that you like
Ask to speak with him privately, explain the situation, & see if you can work together to find a solution
Ask your supervisor to speak with him about changing his behavior
IF he will not change his behavior, request a different desk