1. Argumentative Essay Feedback
“The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly”

2. My Codes TS = topic sentence
CD = concrete detail (fact, quote, statistic from research)
CM = commentary (your thoughts, analysis, and explanation)
CS = concluding sentence (summarizes the paragraph)
T = transition
Anything circled or underlined needs attention
Org = problem with organization
S/F = sentences fluency
W/C = word choice
Exp = explain
Dev = develop
( ) = needs a citation
? Needs explanation
Rep = repetitive word or idea

3. Problem #1: Organization
Intro: Hook, background, thesis Body: Each body paragraph needs a topic sentence (your claim), at least one concrete detail (fact, quote, or statistic from your research), and at least two sentences of commentary (your thoughts, analysis, explanation and development), and a concluding sentence (summarizes the paragraph) Conclusion: summarizes the essay, call to action, tie back into hook to come full circle

4. Problem #2: Sentence Fluency
The easiest way to solve your SF problem? READ your paper out loud!! You will hear the choppy parts and the parts where you are rambling on forever without a chance to take a breath. In addition, be aware of places where you get STUCK. If YOU get STUCK, your reader will also get STUCK. UNSTICK IT!! Rewrite the sentence until it flows easily off the tongue.

5. Other Problems Avoid contractions (can’t can not)
Avoid personal pronouns (no I, me, my, or you, your, etc.)
could of, is could have
People that play video games is people who
Friends and family that live far away who
Spell out numbers 1-10, use numerals anything larger

6. Citation Problems
Never put the source or website in your parenthetical citation (New York Times), (PETA), or (discovery.com)
Instead, you write the last name of the author and page number if there is one
If you cannot find the author’s name, use the first 2 or three words of the title of the article or web page (“Shark Populations”)

7. You need a Works Cited section!
If you need help formatting this, ask me for a handout or Google MLA formatting, or MLA works cited, or MLA works cited sample. If you can’t figure this out on your own, please come in at lunch for help.