1. Reflecting on Down Second Avenue In-Class On-Demand Literary Analysis Responses

2. Both “this” and “that” should always be followed by a noun.

3. “THIS” and “THAT” USE A NOUN!
MISSING CONTENT:
“This is simply another instance of systematic oppression.”
This what? Be specific!
BETTER: This violent police brutality is simply another instance of systematic oppression.
MISSING LIT CONVENTION & CONTENT:
“This captures an effect of systematic racism.”
This what? How does it do so?
BETTER: This extended alcohol metaphor captures the degradation of individuals’ potential as an effect of systematic racism.”
“THIS” and “THAT” USE A NOUN!

4. Book-related Advice This text is not a novel or a book
MEMOIR!
AUTOBIOGRAPHY!
#dictionmatters
Book titles are always underlined when you’re writing about them by hand
Book-related Advice

5. Paragraphing: More is More
In general, you all need to use a lot more paragraph breaks in your writing.  
A paragraph is a sentence or group of sentences that support one main idea.
Length and appearance do not determine whether a section in a paper is a paragraph.
For instance, particularly in some journalistic styles, a paragraph can be just one sentence long.
Paragraphing: More is More

6. Analysis Focus: The Author, NOT The Reader
Focused on the reader’s experience: not as effective
This demonstrates that the people in Apartheid were assaulted. Thus, the reader is able to sympathize with their pain. (19 words)
Focused on effects of specific conventions the author chose: much more effective
This anecdote demonstrates that people under Apartheid were assaulted. Thus, Mphahlele creates sympathy for their pain. (17 words)
Even better—edited more for brevity:
Mphahlele’s anecdote creates sympathy for the pain of assaulted Africans. (10 words)
Analysis Focus: The Author, NOT The Reader

7. Evaluating: Avoid 1st person POV when writing a personal response
Focus on student writer: not as effective
While I personally respect that he was trying to use an objective tone before expressing his opinions in the interlude, I believe that he fails in many subtle ways. (29 words)
Focus on author’s choices: much more effective
Mphahlele tries to use an objective tone before expressing his opinions in the interlude; he fails. (16 words)
Evaluating: Avoid 1st person POV when writing a personal response

8. Focus on Language, Structure, Technique, and Style
Go through your DSA in-class write thoroughly and review your individual
Highlight or underline each instance of a literary word—one that connotes specific analysis of Mphahlele’s use of language, structure, technique, and/or style
Examples: tone, mood, diction, metaphor, symbol, imagery, [any literary convention], chapter, etc.
Focus on Language, Structure, Technique, and Style