1. Conflict Resolution: Part 1
Richard Jones MA, MBA, LCAS, CCS, CCDP
FAVOR-Greenville

2. Agenda What is a crucial conversation?
Big Picture Framework: less about technique; more about self-awareness. Less about the “head” more about the “heart”.
How do you view human behavior? Why do people do what they do?

3. Crucial Conversations
What makes a conversation “crucial” vs. typical?
First, opinions vary
Second, the stakes are high
Third, emotions run strong

4. Crucial Conversations
“Common” Crucial Conversations
Ending a relationship
Asking a friend to repay a loan
Giving the boss feedback about her behavior
Critiquing a colleague’s work
Talking to a team member who isn’t keeping commitments
Talking to a colleague who is hoarding information or resources

5. Crucial Conversations
How do we handle crucial conversations:
We can avoid them
We can face them and handle them poorly
We can face them and handle them well

6. Crucial Conversations
Why don’t crucial conversations tend to go well?
Emotions tend to rule
Your body physically reacts
We are under pressure
We are stumped
We act in self defeating ways

7. Crucial Conversations
Why it is important to master crucial conversation skills:
Kick Start Your Career
Improve Your Organization
Improve Your Relationships
Revitalize Your Community
Improve Your Personal Health

8. Self-Awareness
The MOST important aspect of managing crucial conversations is managing yourself.
Emotional intelligence: self- awareness, managing emotions, motivation, empathy leads to effective resolution of conflict.
Can you conduct a crucial conversation in a crisis situation?

9. What you do depends on what you want:
Possible desired outcomes:
To put someone in their place?
To get my way?
To get my point across and maintain the relationship…
To get my point across and maintain my reputation… or place of power…or position…etc…
Do you know what you want?

10. Jo-Hari Window

11. Why do people do what they do?
Behaviorist: Because of rewards and consequences; positive and negative reinforcement…People can be controlled and other people’s behavior regulated.
Hardwired: born that way…poor character…a sociopath
Environment: poor upbringing; do not know what is right or wrong…

12. Why?
Motivation: don’t want to be different…
Cognition: Stories they tell… Thoughts lead to emotions lead to behaviors…

13. Stories…Everyone has a different perspective

14. 2 people can look at the same situation or ‘picture’ and see entirely different things

15. Different Perspectives (2)

16. Happinessisnowhere
Mastering you perspective by intentional thinking is a life a changing process…