1. You will take a certificate home after they are signed.
Take a Workbook and trifold brochure
Please fill out the registration form
Print your name on certificate so it can be signed.
Return both to the baskets on the table.
You will take a certificate home after they are signed. .
WELCOME TO PGC
Goal is to raise awareness, save kids
Secret World – ugly and worse that we probably imagine
Real abusers and victims, disturbing
A plan of how to keep children safe.

2. Lord, we ask you to open our minds, help us to be protectors of children, give us the wisdom and strength to be knowledgeable about these terrible sins, yet filled with hope and courage to move forward to make this world a safe and loving place.
Session should open with a prayer. This is a sample. Feel free to substitute with one you prefer.

3. Protecting God’s Children
Diocese of Paterson
Protecting
God’s Children
Virtus is a Latin word for excellence. It denotes the best in the human spirit.

4. Effects of Abuse Abuse is never the child’s fault !
Some felt dirty & ugly
Ashamed of themselves
Confused, don’t comprehend it or know what to do
Feeling that everyone “knows”
Problems with relationships
Substance abuse, depression
Aggressive & violent behaviors, temper, anger
Self-abuse, suicide attempts
Many won’t discuss until adulthood, some never…
Abuse is never the child’s fault !
Eduardo pretended it was not happening and tried to focus his attention out of reality.

5. Reasons children don’t tell:
Afraid no one will believe them
They don’t know whom to tell
Fear getting into trouble or afraid to make their parents angry.
Victim is controlled by / dependent on abuser
May have been threatened.
Molester is an adult – adults have power.
They may want to protect the abuser.
“Grooming” / special attention - makes the child feel cared about or loved, may they trust and even “love” the abuser - lack of understanding
Debra was sure her parents and any adult that she knew would not believe her. She eventually told her best friend who told her mother, who contacted Debra’s mother.
Randy’s only way of communicating was writing a post card and giving it to the cabin leader to mail.

6. A means to gain control and cooperation by using progressive steps.
“Grooming”
A means to gain control and cooperation by using progressive steps.
a. ) Physical:
Subtle - Gradual – Progressive touching –
Goal of becoming more and more familiar.
b.) Psychological:
Gradually shows attention, - develops friendship
Creates a sense of dependence through a “special relationship .”
Tries to create a “wedge” between the child and the parents.
c. ) Community:
Offender has gained much respect and trust of the adults in the child’s life
Often community is outraged that offender is accused.

7. About the Perpetrators:
They “Plan” & they are patient
They “blend” with community
They get jobs & find ways to be around children
Most abusers are male; married or have been married
Have the trust of parents & children.
They think the rules don’t apply to them ***
May use their own children to gain access.
Most are either bisexual or heterosexual
Could be any age, male or female, even another child
Most abusers will never be caught
Disordered thinking :
“They love the children
“They are educating the children about sex.”
“The child initiated the contact” or “The child failed to resist "

8. 20% of all females * 10% of all males How common is abuse?
1 of 5 women
1 of 10 men were sexually abused by age 18
10% of all males
20% of all females *

10. Myth: Priests abuse children because of celibacy.
Myths
Myth: Children usually lie about child sexual abuse.
Myth: There is a relationship between sexual abuse and the parent’s income or education.
Myth: Priests abuse children because of celibacy.
Myth: Most sexual abusers are homosexual. Myth: Strangers are responsible for most child sexual abuse.

11. Video 2
A Plan
To Protect
God’s Children

12. Step One – Know the Warning Signs
More excited to be with children than adults
Discourages other adults from participating, always wants to be alone with children.
They don’t follow the rules!
Wants to wrestle or tickle, goes overboard touching, very physical.
Allows children to engage in activities their parents would not allow, breaking curfew, allowing smoking, drugs or alcohol.
Swearing or tells dirty jokes / pornography, talking about sex, seemingly “relating to teens”.
Randy’s counselor broke the rules, let the boy’s go out after curfew.

13. NOT warning signs…., Dedicated volunteerism Generosity with time
Always ready to help
Loves working with children
Affectionate people
Willing to work extra hours, and go the extra mile
Great teachers who “reach kids”
Always being “the 1st one” to volunteer

14. Step 2 – Controlling Access
Being Careful about whom we allow to work with our children sends a strong message.
Following safe Human Resource guidelines creates a “culture of safety” in the parish
Interviews, Sterling Background checks, training in Child Sexual Abuse Awareness.
Be a positive role model for others who are resentful of the new guidelines

15. Step 3 – Monitoring Programs
If a child can be separated or secluded during the operations of a program, it is not a safe program.
Child Molesters need the opportunity to abuse – time alone with a child.
Identify activities and games—specific activities involving adults and young people—that should be modified or eliminated (e.g., to eliminate potentially intimate touching such as tickling or wrestling).

16. Step 4 – Being Aware of what is going on…
Pay attention to subtle signs - pay attention to “gut feelings”
“They can tell you anything”
We need to talk about sex with our kids with the right words.
Emphasize that they won’t get in trouble by telling you.
Notice sudden changes in behavior
moody or aggressive
lose interest in school
stop taking care of their personal hygiene

17. Step 5 – Communicate Concerns What should you do when you see warning signs?
Take seriously - always do something….
Warning signs don’t mean the person is a sex offender, but……these are red flags”
Discuss concerns with supervisor…Don’t discuss with peers (gossip).

18. If You Suspect Abuse: Call Authorities !!!
Report on Suspicion – not proof.
Report – Don’t investigate, leave that to law enforcement.
NJ Law requires reporting suspicions of abuse: DYFS
& County Prosecutors

19. Virtus.org
This one-time session is designed to raise awareness and to begin shifting attitudes about sexual abuse.
Continuing education is needed to support and achieve the goal of creating safe environments.
Available to you on the Virtus website! ⏎