1. Parenting Wisdom

2. The humor of the topic
“Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.”
Ray Romano
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3. The honor of the topic
“Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation ”
C. Everett Koop
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4. The BREVITY OF THE JOB
“…kids don't stay with you if you do it right. It's the one job where, the better you are, the more surely you won't be needed in the long run.” Barbara Kingsolver
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5. The terror of the topic
“Parenting is the greatest single preserve of the amateur.”
Alvin Toffler
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6. Refresher: what proverbs is all about
Wisdom…
which includes...
Discernment
Character
Knowledge
Skill
The unwise…
Naïve Youth, Mocker, The Fool
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7. Refresher: What proverbs is all about
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
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8. Parenting’s purpose What’s YOUR purpose (for your child)?
To Trust Christ
What else (be honest)?
What’s PROVERBS’ purpose for parenting?
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9. Parenting’s purpose Proverbs 2:1-5
“My son, if you will receive my words and treasure my commandments within you, make your ear attentive to wisdom and incline your heart to understanding; for if you cry for discernment and lift your voice for understanding…
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10. Parenting’s purpose Proverbs 2:1-6ff
“…if you seek for her as for hidden treasures; then you will discern the fear of the Lord and discover the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom...”
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11. Parenting’s purpose What’s YOUR purpose (for your child)?
To Trust Christ
What else (be honest)?
What’s PROVERBS’ purpose for parenting?
True to itself, Proverbs’ goal is WISDOM
which is solidly grounded
in knowing HIM
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12. Roadblocks to Wisdom Every “new model” has a defect– sin Genesis 8:21
“…for the intent of a man’s heart is evil from his youth…”
Jeremiah 17:9
“The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick…”
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13. Roadblocks to Wisdom Each child comes with a flaw – sin
Their natural bent is toward foolishness
Proverbs 22:15
“Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child…”
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14. Roadblocks to Wisdom Each child comes with a flaw – sin
Their natural bent is toward foolishness
And…Left to themselves, they get worse!
Proverbs 29:15
“…a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.”
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15. Proverbs’ way to wisdom:
“Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child…
…the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.”
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16. DISCIPLINE Proverbs’ way to wisdom:
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17. Proverbs’ way to wisdom: discipline
Where it begins...
Faith in Christ, Power of the Holy Spirit
Parent on Purpose –
Learn, decide, agree & stick with it
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18. Proverbs’ way to wisdom: discipline
Dissecting Discipline –
Three Intensifying Stages…
Instruction/Knowledge/The Word
Warning/Exhortation/Rebuke
Punishment/Chastisement
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19. 3 facets of discipline Instruction (Knowledge/The Word) Proverbs 1:8-9
“Hear, my son, your father’s discipline and do not forsake your mother’s instruction, for they are a graceful wreath upon your head and ornaments around your neck.”
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20. 3 facets of discipline Instruction (Knowledge/The Word) Proverbs 4:1
“Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, and give attention that you may gain understanding, for I give you sound teaching; do not abandon my instruction.”
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21. 3 facets of discipline Instruction (Knowledge/The Word)
Warning (Exhortation/Rebuke)
Proverbs 3:12
“…a father corrects the son in whom he delights.”
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22. 3 facets of discipline Instruction (Knowledge/The Word)
Warning (Exhortation/Rebuke)
Proverbs 4:26-27
“Watch the path of your feet…do not turn to the right or to the left…”
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23. 3 facets of discipline Instruction (Knowledge/The Word)
Warning (Exhortation/Rebuke)
Proverbs 24:25
“…but to those who rebuke the wicked will be delight, and a good blessing will come upon them.”
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24. 3 facets of discipline Instruction (Knowledge/The Word)
Warning (Exhortation/Rebuke)
Chastening (Punishment)
Proverbs 13:24
“He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.”
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25. 3 facets of discipline Instruction (Knowledge/The Word)
Warning (Exhortation/Rebuke)
Chastening (Punishment)
Proverbs 23:13-14
“Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall…rescue his soul from Sheol.”
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26. 3 facets of discipline Instruction (Knowledge/The Word)
Warning (Exhortation/Rebuke)
Chastening (Punishment)
Proverbs 29:15
The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.
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27. Proverbs’ way to wisdom: discipline
More about Punishment...
Love as the Foundation
Proverbs 3:12
“…a father corrects the son in whom he delights.”
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28. Proverbs’ way to wisdom: discipline
More about Punishment...
Love as the Foundation
Proverbs 3:12
“For whom the Lord loves, He chastens, as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.”
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29. Proverbs’ way to wisdom: discipline
More about Punishment...
Love as the Foundation
Consequential – makes an impact
Consequences: Natural and “Created”
-Match the offense, match the child
“Non-Corporal” – Consistent & creative
Corporal
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30. Proverbs’ way to wisdom: discipline
He who withholds his rod, hates his son, but he who loves him, disciplines him diligently.
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31. Proverbs’ way to wisdom: discipline
Egyptian Proverb
“Boys have their ears in their backsides; they listen when they are beaten.”
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32. Proverbs’ way to wisdom: discipline
A few words to those who do and those who don’t…
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33. Cultivating wisdom with discipline
Your Child’s (and YOUR) Faith in Christ
Grace and Discipline
Pointers from Parents on Discipline
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34. From some of grace’s parents…
People are more important than things. We buy memories, not stuff.
We discipline quickly, and forgive immediately when asked. No keeping accounts.
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35. From some of grace’s parents…
We strive to parent FIRST from the positive. In other words, instead of emphasizing our opposition to negative behavior, we talk (and train) proactively toward the positive behavior we desire to see. You can’t do this re-actively. We even keep a list on the fridge that reminds us of the positives which counteract the negatives.
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36. From some of grace’s parents…
The single most important thing a father can do to turn his children's heart toward Christ is to sincerely loves Christ himself and to communicate that consistently both in and outside the home.  The thing that can turn a child's heart away from Christ the most is to see his father appear to follow God in front of others but not at home.
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37. From some of grace’s parents…
"There are, of course, many factors that contribute to good parenting such as conveying unconditional love, providing quality time and setting a good example, particularly in the husband-wife relationship. But one of the most important is to establish and maintain control.
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38. From some of grace’s parents…
In the final analysis this is achieved through discipline as clearly taught in the Proverbs.  We have found that  authority must be established early, preferably before the child is five; however, it will continue through the early years of childhood. Proverbs 19:8 clearly implies that such discipline should not be delayed. 
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39. From some of grace’s parents…
Although the discipline may be difficult for both the child and the parent, the rewards are great.  This proverb states that failure to train the child could result in premature death.  More generally, discipline will result in comfort/rest and delight to your soul (29:17), as well as joy and pleasure (23:24,25).  God has graciously blessed us through our children."
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40. What do we do with all this?
Pray!
Begin Today: Lavish, Unconditional Love
Agree Soon: Your goal(s), your standards
Keep Going: Consistent love & discipline
Past Mistakes? – Time to step up!
Seek and model forgiveness
Begin to talk about discipline, new norm
Do 1-4 above
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41. What do we do with all this?
KIDS – work with us – it’s good for you!
Proverbs 20:20
He who curses his father or mother, his lamp will go out in time of darkness.
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42. What do we do with all this?
KIDS – work with us – it’s good for you!
Proverbs 2:4-5
…if you seek (wisdom) as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures; then you will discern the fear of the Lord and discover the knowledge of God.
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43. What do we do with all this?
KIDS – work with us – it’s good for you!
Ephesians 6:1-3
Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your Father and Mother (which is the first commandment with a promise) so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.”
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44. What do we do now? Parent in Community!
-Look for “Parenting with Grace”
-Are you in a small group?
Home Groups, Sunday Morning Groups, First Call, Mom to Mom
Reception TODAY – between services…
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45. Resources
grace-bible.org/resources
Grace Bible Church App