1. Business Communication
Lecturer: Gareth Jones
Class 4: Editing

2. Editing Learning Outcomes
Indirect and direct messages
The importance of the introduction and conclusion
The three parts of editing:
Editing for Content
Editing for Style
Editing for Readability
Business Communication (BUS-100)
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3. The writing process We discussed prewriting:
Gathering
Organising
Focusing
And the first stage of writing
Drafting
Business Communication (BUS-100)
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4. To Begin Communication Strategy: Message Structure September 8th 2010
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5. Message Structure Thoughts can be random. Our Message should not be!
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6. Emphasis Your emphasis is the strongest point of your message.
We must learn how to emphasise the important points.
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7. Emphasis Audience Memory Curve. When is the Audience most interested?
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8. Emphasis Lesson: Most interested at the beginning and at the end.
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9. Emphasis
Lesson:
We must state important points either at the beginning or end (or both!)
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10. Emphasis Lesson: Don’t bury good ideas in the middle!!!
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11. Emphasis Direct Approach: main ideas at beginning
Indirect: main ideas at end
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12. Direct Approach I hate my BUS 100 Class It is boring
It makes me sleepy
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13. Direct Approach I need to shower. I am dirty I have a date
I have not showered in a week
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14. Indirect Approach Therefore, I detest my BUS 101 Class
BUS 101 is boring
It makes me sleepy
Therefore, I detest my BUS 101 Class
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15. Indirect Approach Therefore, I need to shower. I am dirty
I have a date
I have not showered in a week
Therefore, I need to shower.
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16. What to use? Most times use the direct approach:
It makes things easier to understand.
It is audience centered
Saves time
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17. What to use? Rarely use the indirect approach. Only if:
The message is sensitive
The message is negative.
Why?
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18. Cross-cultural communication
Which type of communication do you usually use?
Why?
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19. Cross-cultural communication
Low-context cultures such as the UK, Germany, France and America usually communicate directly
High-context cultures such as China, Arab world and Japan usually communicate indirectly
This has ramifications in decision making, problem solving and negotiating- which we will cover in week 5
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20. Editing Summary: Most important part of message: Beginning Ending
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21. Editing In Writing: Introduction – opening Conclusion - closing
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22. Introduction Page 62 Why is it important? What does it do?
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23. Introduction Builds reader interest Explains why you are writing
Gives a preview of the message/report
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24. Introduction Build Reader interest: Refer to an existing situation:
As you know...
As we discussed...
As you requested
As desired...
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25. Introduction Build Reader interest: Refer to shared ideas
We must improve our standards
Our company has to...
This company is...
We must...
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26. Introduction Explain your purpose for writing. Answer the question
“Why am I writing?”
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27. Introduction This report shows... I am writing because...
This message is to...
This will explain
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28. The reader must know why you are writing!
Introduction
The reader must know why you are writing!
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29. Introduction Provides a preview – explains how message is organised
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30. Introduction Preview:
This message covers all new steps in the procedure
This message is organised in three sections (1) (2)..... and (3).....
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31. Introduction Builds reader interest Explains why you are writing
Gives a preview of the message/report
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32. Conclusion Also called “Closing” Summary then…
Feedback – what will I do next?
And/or
What next? – what should you do?
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33. Conclusion Feedback: I will call you next week
I will see you on Thursday
I will you more info
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34. Conclusion What next? Please send any questions
Please contact me by phone, etc..
Please respond by January 20
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35. Conclusion
Goodbye!
Include a polite goodbye, to make the reader end with good feelings
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36. Conclusion Goodbye! I look forward to seeing you
I look forward to working for you
I look forward to talking to
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37. Conclusion Never: Introduce a new topic End too quickly
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38. Editing Think of editing as having 3 parts: For content
For readability
For style
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39. Editing Think of editing as having 3 parts: For content
For readability
For style
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40. Content Editing follows Drafting in our writing process
Print out your draft and begin editing
The three steps of editing need not be done in order
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41. Content To start, review the five communication strategies.
Be sure the message is saying what you want it to.
We will cover these later in the course
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42. Content Read the paper: Are the right main points there?
Give to a friend
Read out loud
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43. Content Shorten: Remove any unnecessary info.
Remember: in Business there is not much time!
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44. Content – Summary Print a copy Review Communication Strategies
Have a friend read it
Shorten the paper
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45. Editing Think of editing as having 3 parts: For content
For readability
For style
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46. Readability Business writing needs to be short, clear, and direct
Here are a few tips and examples to help you improve you writing and make it more clear
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47. Readability Avoid ‘wordiness’ Use as few words as you can
Say as much as you can with as few words as possible
SUCCINCT!
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48. Readability Bad: Too long
He is good in terms of basketball ability and skill
Good: short and clear
He plays basketball well.
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49. Readability Avoid long sentences September 8th 2010
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50. Readability Bad: confusing structure
It doesn’t matter who you are or what you know, because if you want to pass this class you must hand in all of your work on time, take all the tests, and come to each class.
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51. Readability Good: Split into sentences
All students who want to pass this class must come to each class. They must also do all the homework and take all of the tests.
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52. Readability Use the active voice It is shorter and more clear
Put the subject at the beginning of the sentence
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53. Readability Good paragraphs! (Remember?)
Paragraphs should have a topic sentence followed by support sentences
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54. Readability Topic Sentence: introduces the main point of the paragraph
Support (body) sentences: supports the topic sentence
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55. Readability Good: Topic sentence and support.
Today’s lecture is about editing and its different components. First we will focus on content, then on readability. Finally, we will focus on style. All components are equally important in editing.
Business Communication (BUS-100)
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56. Readability Bad: No Topic Sentence.
First we will focus on content, then on readability. Finally, we will focus on style. All components are equally important in editing.
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57. Readability Use transition words: Page 67 & class 1
This will make your writing more interesting
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58. Readability Summary Avoid wordiness Good Paragraph Structure
Use the active voice
Use transition words
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59. Editing Think of editing as having 3 parts: For content
For readability
For style
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60. Style
Now that you have all the words, we must make the document look good.
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61. Style “High Skim Value” Pretend someone is skimming your work.
Change the layout so they can easily find important points, main ideas, etc.
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62. Style Headings White Space Font September 8th 2010
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63. Headings
Headings should be parallel (same form) and make “stand alone sense”
This means they should make sense on their own
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64. Headings Ineffective: does not make stand alone sense Recommendation
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65. Headings Effective: does make stand alone sense
Recommendation: Open a new store location
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66. Headings Ineffective: not parallel Steps to increase business:
Build a new store
Getting more customers
To sell more products
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67. Headings Effective: parallel Steps to increase business:
Build a new store
Get more customers
Sell more products
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68. White Space White space is empty space on the page.
It emphasises main ideas
It presents ideas more clearly
It gives the reader a break
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69. White Space Vary paragraph length
Don’t have one long paragraph, or many small, similar sized ones
Have variety!
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70. White Space Ineffective – one long paragraph
If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process. Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.
Business Communication (BUS-100)
September 8th 2010

71. White Space Ineffective – too many short paragraphs
If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary.
Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.
Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing!
Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.
Business Communication (BUS-100)
September 8th 2010

72. White Space
Effective – varying lengths
If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process. Also, delete unnecessary words.
A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing!
Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.
Business Communication (BUS-100)
September 8th 2010

73. White Space Effective: split ideas into a list
I want to remind you of the following things you must do for me:
Finish your homework
Prepare your presentations
Study for your exam
Business Communication (BUS-100)
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74. White Space Ineffective: paragraph with no structure
You have to do your homework before tomorrow. You also have to come and talk to me. Will you study for your exam? You shouldn’t forget to do that either.
Business Communication (BUS-100)
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75. White Space Indenting is important September 8th 2010
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76. White Space Be sure your lists look like this
And that your lists don’t look like this
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77. White Space It is better to use “ragged right” margins
Don’t use justified margins
Business Communication (BUS-100)
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78. White Space Good: Ragged Right
If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process. Also, delete unnecessary words.
A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing!
Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.
Business Communication (BUS-100)
September 8th 2010

79. White Space Bad: Justified
If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process. Also, delete unnecessary words.
A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing!
Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.
Business Communication (BUS-100)
September 8th 2010

80. Fonts For business writing, use a 12 pt. Font
“Times New Roman” is the standard Font
Business Communication (BUS-100)
September 8th 2010

81. Fonts You can use other ones but don’t go too crazy.!!!
Business Communication (BUS-100)
September 8th 2010

82. Fonts Effective: 12 pt. Normal font
If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.
Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.
Business Communication (BUS-100)
September 8th 2010

83. Fonts Ineffective: 8 pt. Normal font
If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.
Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb-object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.
Business Communication (BUS-100)
September 8th 2010

84. Fonts Ineffective: 12 pt. weird font
If your reader has to get a dictionary to understand your report then you have not used plain English. When writing a report your job is to get your argument across to your reader, not to expand his or her vocabulary. Replace unusual or obscure words with ones that are easier to understand. For example, don't talk about a ‘paradigm shift' unless you really have to, instead tell them about a different approach or change of attitude or process.
Also, delete unnecessary words. A crisis is always serious and dangers are always real so you do not need to say ‘serious crisis' or ‘real danger'. Are there trivial crises or imitation dangers? This point of grammar can seriously improve your report writing! Active sentences will usually have a subject-verb- object structure whereas passive ones have an object-verb-subject structure. Clear as mud? Forget the grammar and just look at some examples.
Business Communication (BUS-100)
September 8th 2010

85. Tutorial You will do some exercises on editing
Business Communication (BUS-100)
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86. Tomorrow Weekly review and quiz
Any questions from this week get them ready for tomorrow!
Business Communication (BUS-100)
18/11/2018