1. Building Our Compassion Resilience
Welcome.
Introduce self
Participant intros come in a few minutes.
Program background: other MH programs, request to look younger, partnership with MPS
Focus is the classroom. Let’s make it real. What does this information mean to me? What experience from my classroom can I share to help others process information.
Paired discussion will be used throughout.
Barb Bigalke
Center for Suicide Awareness

2. As caring people, we ask ourselves: How do I do that well
As caring people, we ask ourselves: How do I do that well? How do I let go of what I cannot do/control?
What in our family, work, community and national culture supports this belief?

3. Avoidance, anger and apathy
“If I really wanted to do something, I would be able to.”
self esteem
I am not good.
sense of efficacy
I am not able.
What in our family, work, community and national culture supports this belief?
Avoidance, anger and apathy
So, why try!
Feelings of Shame

4. Trauma – What Role it Has
Prefrontal Lobes
Rational thoughts
What can I learn from this?
Limbic
Emotions
Am I loved?
Brain Stem
Survival instinct
Am I safe?

5. Empathy, Compassion, Self-Compassion
, xxiii,
Empathy is feeling with other people and understanding their feelings.
Concern for the wellbeing of others. It requires the consciousness of others’ distress coupled with a desire to alleviate it.
Compassion is a more empowered state, and is more than an empathic response to a situation.
Kindness is the expression of that compassion through helping.
Compassion is what makes it possible for our empathic response to manifest itself in kindness.
Compassion connects the feeling of empathy to acts of kindness.
Extending kindness to ourselves in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or our own general suffering. (Giving ourselves Grace)
Empathic pain registers in the brain as actual pain.
s feeling with other people and understanding their feelings.”
“When we witness another person suffering, compassion arises from empathy, adding the dimension of wishing to see the relief of suffering and wanting to do something about it. Compassion is a more empowered state, and is more than an empathic response to a situation. Kindness is the expression of that compassion through helping, a basic form of altruism. Compassion is what makes it possible for our empathic response to manifest itself in kindness.” “Compassion connects the feeling of empathy to acts of kindness.”
Compassion feels good!
Kindness feels good!
Empathy often does not feel so good-we are feeling part of other people’s hard, tough feelings, with understanding.
Ouch!
Too Much!
Empathic pain registers in the brain as actual pain. (Tania Singer, researcher from Leipzig Germany)
A Fearless Heart How the Courage to be Compassionate Can Transform Our Lives
Empathy
Compassion
Kindness
Jinpa: pp xxiii,
“Empathy is feeling with other people and understanding their feelings.”
“When we witness another person suffering, compassion arises from empathy, adding the dimension of wishing to see the relief of suffering and wanting to do something about it. Compassion is a more empowered state, and is more than an empathic response to a situation. Kindness is the expression of that compassion through helping, a basic form of altruism. Compassion is what makes it possible for our empathic response to manifest itself in kindness.” “Compassion connects the feeling of empathy to acts of kindness.”
Compassion feels good!
Kindness feels good!
Empathy often does not feel so good-we are feeling part of other people’s hard, tough feelings, with understanding.
Ouch!
Too Much!
Empathic pain registers in the brain as actual pain. (Tania Singer, researcher from Leipzig Germany)

6. Compassion Fatigue Gradual lessening of compassion Main Parts Burnout
Avoid understanding what a person is facing
Belief in the system decrease
Become less effective in our caring role
Work with colleagues can have conflict
Beliefs about self and life satisfaction decrease
Main Parts
Burnout
Work-related trauma ( what we see and interact with)
The burnout part of this tends to be the biggest contributor for most caregivers. But if you are a first responder or helping with significant trauma, secondary trauma plays as big or even bigger role.
Feelings assoc w/burnout?
w/work related trauma?
Compassion fatigue is a NORMAL response to ABNORMAL circumstances.

7. Compassion Fatigue’s Path
Leave Profession
Zealot
Compassion Resilience
Renewal vs Burnout
Irritability
Real suffering as compassion fatigue, burnout and secondary traumatic stress decrease the quality of life and tip the balance away from the positive.
Recognizing that compassion fatigue/burnout is there is the first crucial step. Then getting some help for renewal.
Withdrawal
Zombie

8. How does compassion fatigue show up?
In you? (Feelings, behaviors, thoughts)
Your body? (Physical Symptoms)
Particular populations or persons who challenge your compassion?
In your organization?

9. Have we lost our passion for our work
Have we lost the reason why we are in this type of work
Are we looking for reasons why not to help rather than how can we help
Are we finding ourselves asking “why am I doing this work”
Are we replaying a certain scenario/person over in head – even at night
Have we simply become empty………

10. We are feeling like our opinions are never heard
We seem like we are invisible
We seem like no hears or sees how overwhelmed you are
We seem/feel like we are never good enough – so we say YES
when we really want and need to say NO

11. We feel this constant need to stay
Unplug
We feel this constant need to stay
Connected and even have more than one cell phone

12. Being on time means you are 10 minutes
Late. And you are proud of
Yourself for getting that close!
And when you arrive – you are
Struggling to stay focused and present.

13. We are feeling like we cleaning up the messes in life

14. Does your desk have the following on it:
Papers – some you know what they are and some you have no clue
Random post notes with alien symbols and phone numbers that you wrote down for some reason.
Family photos that are when your kids were 3 and now they are graduating high school.
Toothbrush and other just in case items
Coffee mug – one that is current ---one that might have some kind of fungus growing on it
Receipts that have crumbs on them and possibly coffee stains
A plant that has seriously is in need of water
To Do List……or worse several To Do Lists
*Bonus points – your car has the same!!

15. The power to return to a position of empathy, strength, and hope after the daily witnessing of the challenges families face in our community and the realities of the workplace.

16. Resilience
The ability to recover from tough challenges and traumatic events
To be able to feel optimistic in an imperfect world
Resilience is the goal.

17. Strategies to Build Compassion Resilience:
Expectations - Realistic ones of yourself and others – What is enough and what can I hope for? Exposure to recovery
Compassionate boundary setting
Staff culture - connect with colleagues and others in community
Self-care strategies – Mind, Spirit, Strength and Heart

18. Expectations What role do expectations play?
What impact has your unrealistic expectations had on your well-being?
What has the impact been of others’ unrealistic expectations of you?

19. Building Compassion Resilience!
How I can tell I am approaching people with compassion.
Is the perception real?
Take it down a notch
(quick wins and the long haul)
4. Take control out of the equation
God grant me the serenity
To accepts the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Let it go!

20. Building Compassion Resilience!
5. Recognize and appreciate recovery/resilience
6. Compassionate boundaries - understand your role and your limitations.
7. Connect with colleagues and others in the community
8. Self-care, including Self-Compassion

21. Tips for Setting Compassionate Boundaries
1. Know what you want to say “Yes” to in your life (values and priorities).
2. Just say it! Don’t make them guess. Reinforce by pointing out the violations or near violations of boundaries IN THE MOMENT.
3. Have “meetings” to discuss boundaries. Structure offers safety for both sides.
4. Give explanations that are specific, relevant to the other person, and offer shared solutions.

22. Staff Culture - Connect with colleagues and others in the community
What are my limitations (my role, skills, current capacity, to meet the person’s desires/perceived needs?
What organizations or colleagues can offer services that I cannot?
What do I believe others on “my team can do?”
What do I need to do to increase
my knowledge of and belief in the
capacity of my team?
The third area of strategies for building compassion resilience involves our connection to resources that are available to our clients that meet needs beyond the limitations of our role.
It is difficult for me to approach the complex realities of our clients lives with optimism if I am unaware of the multitude of resources that exist to address client needs that we cannot meet- whether due to the lack of successful engagement in the relationship, or needs that extend beyond what I can offer, I do best when I see that I am not THE answer to a person’s well-being.
These questions can be helpful for teams to address together or individuals to use to discern their level of connection to colleagues and other community services.

23. Time to take out the Negative
Remove the toxic from your life
Yes that might even mean people
Replace negative thoughts with positive
You are not perfect – throw that idea out

24. Reversing Shame and Blame I care for myself & others
When I am Known, Included and Supported ( in your organization)
I am able ✗
I am good
Compassion fatigue
I care for myself & others

25. Care for Self Balance Social Physical Spiritual Intellectual Emotional
When all areas are healthy and working together, you will see the positive influence they have on total health.
Emotional
Creative

26. Some Exercises in Self Care
Close your eyes
Breathe
Feel your heartbeat
Soak up the smells
Tune out the noise
Color
Repeat ---You are Enough

27. We are outta here
Questions/Comments

28. 3 Additional Useful C’s for Us
Get to know people with non- judgmental curiosity
Build trust through consistency (compassionate boundaries)
3. Engage in co-planning to arrive at self-directed decisions ( so you don’t have to do all the work?
As I alluded to earlier, an inclusive and supportive environment for youth and families, while a great universal goal, can require us to dig deep into our professional and personal resources.
Here are 5 points to consider as you continue on your path towards this goal:
1) Get to know youth and families and allow them to know you beyond your role in your school or agency. Seek unconditional positive regard for every youth and parent- a high but important goal and we get there through non-judgmental curiosity that leads to broader and deeper knowledge of the youth and parents you serve.
2) Build trust through consistency- maintaining a calm, welcoming and accepting connection over time will help youth and families to believe that your relationship will not falter throughout the challenges.
3) Guide youth to minimize confusion and manage the transitions between groups to which they belong. Build their capacity to learn and meet diverse expectations.
4) Understand specific needs and use effective responses with youth and parents who are impacted by trauma and mental illness. To do this, Co-plan with youth and parents. It will actually make your job easier because they know best what they need. Bring in others who offer expertise that you are not expected to have.
5) Regularly assess the connections youth and parents have with adults in the school or agency. At least annually, ask youth and parents which adult in your building would they turn to if a need arose and ask staff to identify youth and parents they have deep connections with. Use this information to expand and deepen connections.
As this module comes to the closing slides, we hope that you have been able to explore some ideas from new vantage points. The youth have one more section of their stories to share with you. It is with pleasure that we offer you not only a glimpse into the frustrations and pain of mental health challenges but most importantly, the reality of resilience and recovery.

29. Example
You are in the middle of an phone call and someone is motioning to you in non- verbal motions and gestures and lip movements that you have no clue what they are doing much less trying to get you to understand???

30. Dr. K. Ginsburg’s 7 C’s of Resilience
Competence
Confidence
Connection
Character
Contribution
Coping
Control
**How do you model this?
Ginsburg, KR,
Ken Ginsburg’s 7 Crucial C’s of Resilience-Video

32. We have heard
We know it
If we don’t take care of ourselves
We can’t take care of anyone else
But do we really do it???