1. Dr Seán Ruth www.seanruth.com
Relationships at Work
Dr Seán Ruth

2. Collaborative Leadership
Building close relationships
Thinking together
Listening and sharing
Supporting each other around struggles
Developing each person’s individual leadership
Encouraging each person to take initiative
© Seán Ruth

3. Leadership Principle
All effective leadership rests on building solid one-to-one relationships with people
© Seán Ruth

7. Two Major Blocks Isolation Lack of safety
Among other things, isolation includes social exclusion, having no one to share with, lack of support, getting no help.
.Radio producer example – going for lunch without her.
.Moving school principal’s chair in staffroom.
.Unlocking 46 doors.
Hostility includes hostile criticism, gossip, resistance and undermining.
.Hospital example. “Yer one will want to say something first”.
.“I felt I was hearing nothing but criticism ... It’s true that I did make mistakes but why isn’t there something positive being acknowledged”
.“When you came in in the morning, they would take you apart straight away. So, you didn’t have a chance. ... You never seemed to be ready for the attack when it came. You were always caught off guard”
.“So that every time any minor thing went wrong, he would send abusive s or he would ring me and scream at me or he would just be quite nasty generally”
.“For sheer ignorant boorishness in dealing with people, you excel by a distance the former title-holder of that office”
.Bypassing
© Seán Ruth

8. Building Relationships
Keep close contact
Listen
Encourage, appreciate, praise
Catch people doing things right
Don’t use criticism or blame
Put the effort in when times are good
© Seán Ruth

9. Rule of Thumb
Whenever you see someone behave rigidly, inflexibly or inappropriately, almost invariably you are dealing with someone who, at that point, is under stress or is in the grip of some painful or negative feelings
© Seán Ruth

10. Effects of Stress Thinking shuts down Judgement gets distorted
Rigid, unthinking, automatic reaction
© Seán Ruth

11. Attacks Correcting a mistake Getting attention
Acting out accumulated hurt
© Seán Ruth
© Seán Ruth

12. Options Avoid it Pretend not to notice Do not discuss it Interrupt it
Show the hurt
Structure it out
Go after the person in between attacks
© Seán Ruth
© Seán Ruth

13. Meetings Give people equal time to talk
No one speak twice until everyone has spoken at least once
Focus on listening and understanding
Hold discussion till all have spoken
Simple questions - positive & negative
Talk from personal point of view
Confidentiality
© Seán Ruth

14. Change and Relationships
It is possible to prepare for the future without knowing what it will be. The primary way to prepare for the unknown is to attend to the quality of our relationships, to how well we know and trust one another …
Nothing else works, no new tools or technical applications, no redesigned organisational chart. The solution is each other. If we can rely on one another, we can cope with almost anything.
Margaret Wheatley
© Seán Ruth