1. Importance of Holding Crucial Conversations
TOC Annual Institute

2. Presenter
John Cleveland – Management Analyst HR Strategy Group, Office of Personnel Management

3. What is a Crucial Conversation? Importance Practice the Skills
Overview
What is a Crucial Conversation?
Importance
Practice the Skills
Prioritize the Issue
Speak Persuasively
Wrap Up

4. How did you get your way as a child?
Group Activity
How did you get your way as a child?

5. When People Don’t Feel Safe
They do not engage in dialogue
Frequently retreat to the patterns of behavior that help them feel “safe”
- Withhold meaning
- Compel others to only hear your meaning and not allowing anyone else to share theirs

6. 3 Elements of a Crucial Conversation
STRONG EMOTIONS
OPPOSING OPINIONS
Here you see the different elements that are necessary for a conversation to be considered “Crucial”
A few examples
Struggling Spouse – issues aren’t getting resolved and they are in Marital Counseling but it just isn’t working
Called in to as arbitrator between a supervisor and their employee who have a very broken relationship and are now as far apart as they can get
A very quiet & shy woman who was about 6 months before she reached her MRA & her friend congratulated her on her impending retirement…when asked why her friend said, that her position was just posted
An organization with a very poor culture & engagement as evidenced by low EVS scores -- where everyone has been walking on egg shells and atmosphere is just a notch or two below actively hostility
HIGH STAKES

7. Crucial Conversations - Goal

8. Costs are Incredibly High!
Each conversation not handled well costs an average of $7,500 in time and resources
Strained relationships between supervisors and their employees
Projects experience delayed timeframes and higher costs
Individual and team morale suffer
Culture is negatively impacted
Low levels of engagement

9. Crucial Conversations The Other Side
Provides tools to actively engage and encourage someone who is apprehensive and/or unwilling to share their facts, opinions, or story

10. What happens when everyone actively engages in dialogue?
Better decisions can be made because everyone has shared their information
Relationships improve
Engagement and morale go up
Culture is improved
Resolutions…
Poor Culture – months later in a follow up, contact shared there has been a shift—lowered tension, less hostility—not solved but moving in the right direction
Arbitrator – using the skills, within 2 hours our arbitrator facilitated an AMICABLE solution
Nearly Retired – gained the confidence to begin the conversation with her supervisor where she shared it would be at least 3 years before she could retire
Struggling Spouse – feels like she finally has the tools to have the conversations that just might save her marriage

11. Let’s Dive in
Prioritize the Issue
Speak Persuasively

12. Identify & Prioritize the Issue – Unbundle with CPR
When facing a complex problem—break it into its various parts decide what to address
Content: a single instance of a problem. If either the action itself or its immediate consequences is the issue
Pattern: a recurring problem—a pattern of behavior over time
Relationship: how the problem is affecting your working relationship—e.g., trust is suffering or competence is in question
IMPORTANT NOTE:
What is the easiest to address? So what makes P & R harder?
If you address a P or R issue as a Content, the likelihood of getting the result you want is VERY LOW & you WILL have the convo again

13. Group Activity - CPR
You are a project manager. The Respondent is a department manager you work with and is not your supervisor. You used to be able to count on his team to deliver, but that has changed in the last few months. This year it has become common for your team to miss deadlines because the Respondent’s department doesn't get you their part on time. This morning you were blindsided in a meeting when the Respondent admitted that his team hasn't finished a deliverable you need today. You are starting to think you can’t depend on the Respondent. You are tempted to work around him. What you really want is a warning. You can deal with missed deadlines if you know about them in advance.
What are the issues? What do you want to address?

14. Exercise
Identify an issue (personal or professional) comfortable sharing with partner Prioritize the issue you want to address Content Pattern Relationship Will use this later

15. Speak Persuasively with STATE
What you say…
Share your Facts
Tell your Story - Why it is important to you
Ask for their Path – What is their side/input
How you say it…
Talk Tentatively
Encourage Testing / Differing viewpoints

17. Facts are facts
In an emotionally charged conversation – they are the LEAST insulting

25. Talk Tentatively / Encourage Testing

26. Degrees of Tentativeness
Too Forceful
More Tentative
The fact of the matter is
That’s a dumb idea
The only reasonable option is to…
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong
In my opinion
Maybe it would make more sense to…
I believe that what we should do is
I’m wondering if that example applies to our organization

27. Encourage Testing
Goal is for the other person to feel safe sharing their side/provide information that may contradict yours

28. Putting it together with CPR

29. Content – Single Instance / Generally Simple Gaps in Expectations
When dealing with content issues, stick with the facts: Describe what you expected versus what you observed.

30. STATE the Facts Content - Example
Expected: I want every customer update to include performance data and analysis, so they can see the impact we’re having. Observed: The presentation you gave this morning didn’t include any data or analysis.

31. Pattern or Relations – Multiple instances and/or Complex issues
When dealing with Pattern and/or Relationship issues, you'll want to share your side/perspective to describe impact and importance.

32. STATE the Facts Pattern / Relationship - Example
Expected: We’ve discussed how every customer updates needs to include performance data and analysis, so they can see the impact we’re having. Observed: I reviewed the presentations you’ve prepared this quarter. Several didn’t include any performance data. When I did see data, the analysis was very basic, just means and t-tests. Story: I want to talk to you about your skills with data and data analytics. Question: Tell me your perspective.

33. Exercise Apply STATE Skills to the issue you selected
Practice with your partner
Share your Facts
Identify pertinent facts about situation (2-3 facts)
Tell your Story
Why is it important to you (1-2 sentences)
Ask for the other person’s side/input
(ONE question)
Talk confidently & with curiosity

34. Identifying a Crucial Conversation Importance & Cost Skills
Wrap Up
Identifying a Crucial Conversation
Importance & Cost
Skills
CPR – Prioritize the Issue
STATE – Talking Persuasively

35. So the Question Becomes…
What could you accomplish when employees engage in meaningful dialogue about high stakes issues where opinions differ and emotions are running strong?

36. Thank You!
Contact Info: John Cleveland (202)