1. Marks of A True Christian 4 Christian Relationships Ephesians 5:20-6:9
Feedback, questions, or comments welcome! Tom Steed
You may want to begin at slide two.

2. Christian Relationships
True Christianity Positively Affects Our Relationships
In today’s lesson we will be looking at Christian relationships. Since this lesson is a part of our series, “Marks of a True Christian” it is important to remember that true Christianity positively affects our relationships. Christianity is not all about doctrinal disputes but about how we live.

3. Do you think that these two men should be affected by what we read in Ephesians 6?

4. This is a unusual sight- a church in the middle of the city
This is a unusual sight- a church in the middle of the city. Do you think that what goes on in the church should affect what is going on the the office buildings? Of course it should!!

5. What about these men? Should Christianity affect their work?

6. Christianity should affect our home and work relationships.

7. Text Ephesians 5:20-6:9
Let’s read our text together.

8. Three Possible Approaches To The Text
What does the passage say?
Why does it say it?
Why doesn’t it say something different?
I can see three possible approaches to the text. First, we may ask, “What does the passage say?” Second, we may ask, Why does it say it?” Third, we may ask, “ Why doesn’t it say something different than it does?” It is much easier to answer the first than the second and third question.
I may not be able to answer the question as to why it doesn’t say different things than it does. This is in many ways a controversial passage. Not everyone will agree with what it says. But my approach is to ask what the passage says and how we can implement it.

9. Three Approaches To The Teachings
Reject the Bible.
Accept and implement the teaching.
Rationalize or explain the teaching away.
When it comes to the teachings of this passage, we may once again approach it in three ways. The first way is to reject what the Bible says. The second is to accept and implement the teaching of the Bible. The third is to rationalize and explain away the teachings.
It is not my place to judge others. I’m sure that they are acting in good conscience when they come to different conclusions than I do. However, my approach to the scripture is to ask, What does it say, and how can I apply that to my life. Even if I find some of these teachings difficult, I must accept them and apply them.

10. Guiding Principle: Submit to One Another Out of Reverence For Christ
Throughout all these instructions, there is one guiding principle: Submit on one another out of reverence for Christ. The Christ-like spirit is not being interested in getting all that you have coming, We are all to be willing to submit to one another. This is not matter as to what our status may be, we are to be willing to give in and back down for the sake of Christ, so that the kingdom of God can be advanced.

11. Yield to Oncoming Traffic
There is a narrow country road that I travel in Southwest Missouri with a single lane bridge. It is a back country road in the Delta cotton country. One day, as I came barreling down the road, I noticed this sign on the approach: “Yield to Oncoming Traffic.” I was curious why this side was told to yield and not the other since the approaches seemed equal. When I crossed over, I looked in my rear view mirror to see this sign: “Yield to Oncoming Traffic!” Both sides had to yield. I can imagine that if both sides arrived at the same time and both yielded, it would takes some time for one of them to go forward. They might waste a few minutes. If however, both sides refused to yield, I can only imagine the collision!
In our relationships, if we both yield, it may takes a little doing to work it out. But if both refuse to yield, there can only be disaster.

12. (Employees to Employers) (Employers to Employees
Categories
Wives to Husbands
Husbands to Wives
Fathers to Children
Children to Parents
Slaves to Masters
(Employees to Employers)
Masters to Slaves
(Employers to Employees
There are eight categories of relationships mentioned in this passage: wives to husbands, husbands, fathers to children, children to parents, slaves to masters, and masters to slaves. We do not have slaves and masters today but we do have employees and employers. The principles that govern these relationship also govern workplace relationships.

13. Wives
Verb: Submit
Analogy: Husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.
First, Paul tells wives to submit to their husbands. In each of these relationship categories, we find the instruction to the people and then the reasoning or logic behind the instruction. Here, the analogy is that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.
We cannot understand this correctly without turning to the next instruction.

14. Analogy: Love your wife as Christ loved the church.
Husbands
Verb: Love
Analogy: Love your wife as Christ loved the church.
Since wives are to submit to their husbands then the next part is very important. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.
Sometimes husbands are very quick to insist upon submission from their wives. When husbands invoke the rule do, they must take the whole package. This includes husbands being as loving, kind, and self-sacrificial as Christ was to the church. Remember that Christ gave his life on both a daily basis and in one great sacrificial offering for the church.
Maybe we are instructed in the part that is the hardest. So, wives are to submit and husbands are to love. If a husband loves his wife with the tender and sacrificial love that Christ loved the church, it will not be too hard to submit to him.

15. Paul writes, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.”
We have many beautiful pictures in our heads of brides on their wedding day. I certainly have beautiful memories of my bride—and these memories go back almost thirty years. Some say that all brides are beautiful on their wedding day. This picture certainly shows a beautiful bride. The idea of a bride is of one beautiful with an almost spotless perfection. (Can you imagine a wedding gown with a big dirty spot or a dress with a rip in it?) So the church is to maintain its purity and holiness in order that Christ may present the church to God in a pure and beautiful condition.
If husbands love their wives as Christ loved the church, and wives looked on their husbands with the adoration and cooperation that Christ deserves from the church, the condition of marriage in the world would greatly improve.

16. Fathers Verb: Do Not Provoke Verb: Bring Up
I like this picture of junior walking along holding Dad’s hand. They kind of favor, don’t you think?
“Fathers: Do not provoke your children to wrath.” Why do you suppose that this is phrased in this way? Could it be because fathers might have a tendency to be overbearing—to be impatient—to demand so much of little ones that they become exasperated: in other words, “to wrath”?
Instead, fathers are to “bring them up,” in the training and instruction of the Lord. The picture that comes to my mind is the idea of patiently training and teaching, with love, affection and discipline. It is a happy picture of a loving and patient father giving individual instruction to his children.
All the instruction cannot be left to the public schools or the Sunday schools either one. It takes concerned parents to encourage children brought up in the “nurture and admonition (KJV) of the Lord.” And this can be one of the most satisfying relationships this side of heaven.

17. Reasoning: The first commandment with promise.
Children
Verb: Obey
Reasoning: The first commandment with promise.
There are also some instructions for children. Children are to OBEY. Every parent understands why this is mentioned. Without some authority in the home, everything collapses. Children need to learn the word, NO! A concept that is foreign to many kids. Obedience to God is learned by learning obedience to parents.
The reasoning: This is the first commandment with promise. What is the promise: “That your days may be long upon the earth.” Perhaps this means that God will bless the obedient with longer life. Perhaps it means that if you obey, it will keep you from killing yourself by doing something foolish. I have told my kids to drive carefully many times. The reason: I wanted them to grow up to be adults!
Within these instructions for relationships among close family members--wives, husbands, children and parents--there is great wisdom for happy families.
Now we turn to relationships that are not as close as other family relationships. However remember that in the first century, slaves were an integral part of the household.

18. Reasoning: As you would obey Christ
Slaves
Verb: Obey
Reasoning: As you would obey Christ
Once again we are faced with questions. Why not condemn slavery as a great evil. My theory is that the Bible is written to man under the influence of sin. That is to say, human kind as it actually exists as well as it should be. In the history of the world, slavery has been practiced. It is never a good thing, but it has been and may be again. The purpose of the Bible is to regulate the abuses that can take place—with the eventual goal being the eradication of the evil itself.
It shouldn’t surprise anyone that slaves are told to obey. Why, as you would obey Christ. One of the principles of the Bible found frequently is to do everything as if you were doing it to God. In the Old Testament, people were to treat widows and orphans with kindness and compassion because God was watching. If anyone gives a cup of cold water in the name of Christ, it is as if you were giving it to Christ himself. So obedience is to be “as you would obey Christ.” The hierarchy of relationships is invoked to define lesser human relationships.
Sometimes we may feel resentment toward our employers. While I would reserve the right to lodge fair complaints and the right to protest in a just manner, (or to quit and find another job) employees should show their employers the same respect that they would Christ. If it was required of slaves, it should work for employers, don’t you think?

19. Masters Verb: Treat them by the same principles.
Verb: Do not threaten them.
Reasoning: You have a master in heaven.
Masters are also not exempt from instruction. Masters are to treat their slaves in the same way, that is with the same respect as if they were dealing with Christ. There is a real tendency for power to “go to people’s heads” or to cause supervisors to resort to threats to try to eek out the last bit of productivity. I never did care for the techniques of many coaches who managed highly effective teams but motivated through intimidation. Masters are not to threaten their slaves because they too have a master in heaven, and he does not—nor do we want him too—deal with us in that way.
Back to the original thesis: The way that you deal with others must be affected by our Christian principles. Let’s wrap this lesson up by looking at some general principles that come from this study.

20. Authority and Power Exist!
We need to understand that authority and power exist. This authority exists in the world, the home, the church, and the family. We do not want to exist in the absence of power, but in the Christian regulation of power.

21. Authority is No Excuse for Abuse
Discipline is not to provoke but to instruct.
Acknowledging the existence of power is not excuse of abuse. Abuse must not exist in the family or in the work place. This principle is best summarized in the instruction to children. Discipline is not to provoke but to instruct.

22. Christian Authority Implies Love & Self-Sacrifice
Along these same lines, Christian authority implies love and Self-sacrifice. Christ and his life is the model for the Christian in everything. In this passage, it is clearly shown how much Christ gave up for us. He is the model of sacrificial leadership and authority.

23. Christianity Eradicates and Regulates Abuse
If one follows the model of Christ, the Christianity eradicates and regulates abuse.

24. Service is to the Lord and Not to Men
Changing subjects slightly, these instructions tell us that service is to the Lord and not to men. Others may not appreciate you diligence and sacrifice, but Christ certainly does. We are to do all things as if we were doing them for the Lord and not for men.

25. Treat others as you would like to be treated if you were in their place!
The next principle is that we are to treat others as you would like to be treated if you were in their place. Sound like, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you, doesn’t it?

26. Christianity Affects Our Relationships!
We can sum it all up once again with this thought: Christianity must affect our relationships. If it doesn’t, it is not much Christianity!

27. How Have You Been Treating Others?
In light of all this, it is time to take personal inventory. How have you been treating others? If you have not been treating other well in your relationships, isn’t it time to change?

28. Christ Died for the Church— Are You a Part of the Body of Christ?
I close with this exhortation: Christ dies for the church as clearly shown in this passage. Are you a part of the body of Christ? If not, why not become a part of the church and Christ’s body today?

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31. STEED’S SERMONS
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