1. EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
Being aware of our style

2. Personal Communication Style
Most of us operate on autopilot most of the time
We all need to understand what our natural or preferred style is
If we are aware of our style, we know when and how to use it, and when to restrain it
We can then tailor our style to get the most out of our communications with others

3. Transactional Analysis
Nurturing
Controlling
Parent
Logical, problem solving
Self Aware
Adult
Adult
Child
Natural
Adapted

4. The Parent State Nurturing Parent: Notices what others are feeling
Concern for others
Warmth and empathy
Values good relationships
Controlling Parent:
Makes their expectations clear to others
Comfortable taking a lead and directing others
Uses seniority to get what they want
Uses phrases like “you should” or “you must”

5. The Child State Natural Child: Acts spontaneously
Shows what they are feeling
Playful and humorous
May demand attention
Adapted Child:
Conscious of rules, conventions and authority
Tries to do what is expected of them
Concerned about fitting in
May rebel against rules or authority

6. The Adult State In control of emotions
Matter-of-fact tone: “how can we sort this out?”
‘Hard on the problem, easy on the person’
Clarity about what is negotiable and what isn’t
Clear objective for the conversation
Prepared to invest in the relationship, but not needing to be liked by the other person

7. Manager
Team Member
Parent
Parent
Adult
Adult
Child
Child

8. The Emotional Bank Account
Reciprocity is a powerful force in many cultures
Actively manage your relationships as if they were investments
If you have a strong relationship with someone who perceives you to be an ally, they are less likely to discount your views
If we don’t invest in our relationships, goodwill drains away

9. The Emotional Bank Account
Investments
Withdrawals
That you need to avoid
That you may need to make sometimes