1. Year 11 – Friends and family
I can reflect on the end of relationships and know when it is time to move on
© Leeds South and East CCG

2. Learning outcomes Knowledge Skills
I know how to deal with a breakdown in a relationship and the effects of change, including loss, separation, divorce and bereavement
I know about managing changes in personal relationships including the ending of relationships
I can talk about how changes in friendships, as I move on from Year 11, make me feel and I can develop coping strategies and ways of making new friends 2

3. How we will work together
Can you remember the group agreement we have already talked about, let’s take a minute to think about them.
Teacher notes
Read these through with the children. Hopefully the ground rules will be displayed in the classroom already. 3

4. What do we already know? What do we mean by ‘Identity’?
Can you come up with a definition?
Do we have different ‘identities’?
This can be done either as a whole class or in pairs. It might be helpful to ask pupils to think about it on their own for a minute or so first. They could then reflect on how their ideas have changed doing the exercise and whether this impacts on their identity. Key points are:
• Identity is not fixed and changes and evolves as we develop and have new experiences and meet new people
• We may have different personas or ‘identities’ for different parts of our life; including ‘online’ identities. 4

5. Let’s get started Identity map
Using the handouts or creating their own, encourage pupils to think about both ‘external’ (belonging to family/cultural groups; e.g.. ‘British’, ‘Muslim;) and ‘internal’ aspects of themselves, (how they think and feel e.g.: ‘quiet’ ‘sociable’ ‘anxious’). Once this is complete, if they are happy to share theirs, ask them to find others in the group who might be very similar or dissimilar to them. Was this a surprise? 5

6. How my identity has changed
Activity 1
Activity 2
Using 3 colour pens highlight the areas on your identity map as follows:
Red = areas that you feel are relatively ‘fixed’ and unchanging e.g.. Nationality, gender, personality type
Blue = areas you feel you have developed, nurtured and feel positive about e.g. Related to your interests
Green = areas you feel you feel less happy with or feel will change as you get older
In pairs, take it in turns to discuss which parts of your identity you feel has most changed or is likely to change.
Consider:
Previous identities – how did you used to be?
Why / How do you think this changed?
Do you feel this has been a positive or negative change?
(10-15 minutes)
Facilitators may consider the use of pupils’ phones in being able to access old pictures on social media in order to help them to further reflect on how they’ve changed. At the end of the time, you may offer the option for individuals to share in the larger group key discussion points. 6

7. Relationships and Identity
Working in pairs
Did this change impact or change how you felt about yourself?
Did this relationship / friendship ending make way for a new friendship?
Consider a time when a relationship or friendship ended or broke down.
Ask each other:
Who (or what) ended the relationship?
How did you feel about this relationship ending?
From the previous discussions it’s likely that relationships and friendships were discussed as part of why and how we change. This should follow as an extension of that discussion. 7

8. When do you know it’s time to move on?
Working in small groups
Come up with a list of signs, including feelings, that a relationship is no longer working
(5-10 minutes)
Offer groups opportunity to feedback their ideas to the wider group. 8

9. Coping with loss and grief
Watch video and ask children to make a leaflet on how to cope with grief in pairs.
© Child Bereavement UK

10. Meeting New People Working in pairs
Decide on one of these areas that you both like the most and decide a way that you could (hypothetically!) further pursue and share this interest together
Pair up with the person in the group that you know the least or have not spoken to very much
Find 3 things that you have in common
(5 minutes)
Example: We both like football, zombie films and chips. We could go and see the new zombie film that’s coming out at the cinema. 10

11. Meeting others In your same pairs Did anything surprise you?
What activities do you do that bring you into contact with new people?
Reflect on:
How did you feel having to work with someone unfamiliar?
(5 minutes) 11

12. Relationships and Identity
Quotes
“Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I've ever known.”
Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
“We know what we are, but not what we may be.”
William Shakespeare
“Through others we become ourselves.”
Lev S. Vygotsky
These quotes are picked up on the next slide. 12

13. How has our learning progressed?
Thinking also about the quotes on the previous slide; Why do you think it’s important to meet new people and how does this affect our identity?
How have pupils definitions of identity changed, developed through the lessons? How important to shaping identity do they think that relationships are? 13

14. Taking the learning away
Where and how will you next have the opportunity to meet new people? 14

15. Want to know more or get help?
im-a-young-person
get-support
Contact:
Call, or go online 15