2. Introductions Time for the speaker to introduce themselves
Opportunity to welcome the audience and seek some information about them:
Since this is about family mediation, presume many of you are here because you or a family member have some family problems or concerns that you want to learn about how mediation can help
Who falls into that category?
What kind of problems are you dealing with?
What are you hoping to learn from this session?
[opportunity to manage expectations]

3. Resolving Disputes Quickly & Effectively: How Mediation Can Help Your Business [Name or organization] [Date]

4. Agenda Welcome and Introductions
Current Conflict Challenges for Business
The Truth(s) About Conflict
The Cost of Conflict
What is Mediation
How can Mediate BC help
Real-life Examples
Discussion & Questions

5. Current Conflict Challenges for Business
What brings you here today?
What kinds of conflicts are challenging your business? Your family?
Exercise to help us to address the topics of most interest to you today – business or family issues
Go around the room
Consider asking: have you ever been involved in a mediation?

6. The Truth(s) About Conflict
Conflict IS!
Conflict that is not addressed can fester and escalate
Deal with it – Conflict is an Opportunity
Conflict often starts with communication problems
Our focus today is on how to deal with conflict in your business in a healthy and cost-effective way
We are going to start with some things you probably already know but you may not have thought about them in the context of your business life
1. Everyone experiences conflict – part of life; conflict is “normal”
The key is how to deal with it in a healthy way
We need a range of tools in our toolbox. Different situations require different responses. If all we have is a hammer everything looks like a nail!
Avoidance is sometimes a valid strategy; but in the workplace or with our business partners or customers – not so much. If we don’t deal with something it will escalate – out of control
Deal with it – try to view conflict as an opportunity
Neuroscience tells us that when we are in conflict our “lizard brain” tells us to…..fight or flee (the fight or flight response)
It seems at the time as if there are ONLY those two choices. We know, however, that there are almost always more options to consider – more choices and possibilities
If we can slow down, avoid fight or flight, and consider our needs and goals as well as those of the other person we may actually uncover some really important things – root causes which lead to a range of possible approaches
4. Communication skills can be learned. Helpful responses to conflict can be learned. This is good news. There are some easy tips to remember that really do help. One example: when confronted by someone who is very upset, don’t immediately go to your defensive self. Try to be CURIOUS about what is going on for them. Show empathy and acknowledge their situation. You will be amazed how the temperature in the room will go down. We will get to some helpful tips re dealing with difficult/upset people in a moment

7. What Kinds of Conflicts Do You Face?
Fee disputes with suppliers or customers
Unpaid debts
Allegations of poor service or damaged goods
Disputes with government
Disagreements with investors or lenders
Commercial lease disputes
This is just a list I brainstormed from past experience
Obviously it depends on the sector, type and size of business etc.
It could be a much longer list but the font would be TOO SMALL!
The information you provided in the intro – how does it match with this list
What are the things that are causing you the most problems?
It is not on this list but I need to mention family conflict.
Almost 50% of Canadian first marriages end in divorce. Higher for second marriages. Your employees who are experiencing separation and divorce are under a great deal of stress, particularly if there are children involved. Sounds heartless but The longer they are in a protracted high conflict family battle the less they will be able to focus on their work for you. It is in the interests of the business to encourage their employees to find ways to resolve family disputes quickly, affordably and effectively

8. What Kinds of Conflicts Do You Face? (cont’d)
Insurance disputes
Copyright or trademark disputes
Workplace conflict:
Wrongful dismissal / constructive dismissal
Bullying & harassment
Team dynamics
Etc.
This is just a list I brainstormed from past experience
Obviously it depends on the sector, type and size of business etc.
It could be a much longer list but the font would be TOO SMALL!
The information you provided in the intro – how does it match with this list
What are the things that are causing you the most problems?
It is not on this list but I need to mention family conflict.
Almost 50% of Canadian first marriages end in divorce. Higher for second marriages. Your employees who are experiencing separation and divorce are under a great deal of stress, particularly if there are children involved. Sounds heartless but The longer they are in a protracted high conflict family battle the less they will be able to focus on their work for you. It is in the interests of the business to encourage their employees to find ways to resolve family disputes quickly, affordably and effectively

9. “Unmanaged conflict is the largest reducible cost in organizations today, and the least recognized” Dan Dana
Let’s talk about the cost of conflict
This was said in relation to workplace conflict but it applies equally to any kind of conflict or dispute faced by a business

10. The Cost of Conflict UK:
Conflict costs over £33 billion / yr – every year
Over 80% is damage to the business and not legal costs
Over ¼ of managers spend 5 – 8 hrs/week dealing with conflict
Canada:
Only 13% of leaders surveyed felt they were effective in dealing with conflict
US:
$359 billion/yr for time spent dealing with conflict in the workplace
I think you already know this:
The cost of conflict for business is huge
These are only some examples from recent research
UK = CEDR 2006
PeopleResolutions survey 2010
Think about it, your managers could be spending an average of one full day per week dealing with conflict – and not focusing on your mission!

11. The Cost of Conflict Types of costs for business conflict:
Time away from business
Legal and support costs
Reputational costs
Time away from business ( who can spend endless hours in examinations for discovery or trial?)
Legal fees, disbursements, expert fees and related costs can be astronomical
[Insert short version of your story: Explain why you believe mediation is better than litigation for most business disputes; why are you in the mediation business?]

12. The Cost of Conflict Types of costs for workplace conflict:
Over 65% of performance problems
Up to 90% of involuntary departures
Reduced productivity
Degraded decisional quality
Increased sick days, absenteeism, tardiness
Grievances
Vandalism
Recruitment, retraining, etc.
Secondary morale effects
There are many hidden costs…

13. Conflict Tips – Brain Science 101
First Step – the Brain
NOTE: this is a VERY simplified version of the complex truth!!!
Like this image because it shows how the two different halves of our brain operate differently
The Right brain:
non-verbal and implicit communication
emotions are felt, perceived and expressed
collaborative problem-solving and cooperation
see situations holistically, feel empathy and recognize our emotions
attribute intent to others, and judge their mood
analyze the emotional meaning of what happens
inhibits us from over-reacting to emotion-generating events.
The Left Brain:
focused attention
parts of objects and issues, and name them
categorize things and events based on what we know
invents something that seems plausible when we cannot remember and therefore draws mistaken conclusions
vocabulary and sentence structure
activated when we express anger
prefers red
Research shows that when we are confronted with a threatening situation our primal response is to… feels like a life or death struggle – our Amygdala (lizard brain) takes over
Flight or fight (very useful for the sabre tooth tiger situation – not always helpful today)
Need to calm down in order to do problem solving – get into the frontal cortex (higher order thinking and cognitive appreciation)
When we respond to conflict in this way we operate to get us out of the situation – to protect us
Problem – black/white – not able to listen at all
Need to calm first (get out of amygdala) before can ask the upset person to think logically or rationally.

14. Conflict Tips Curiosity Dealing with upset people: Breathe
The presenting issue may not be the real issue
Mirroring
EAR (Empathy, Attention & Respect)
Tone & body language
Make a list
Ask them to make a proposal
Focus on the future
Before we get into mediation in particular, here are a few helpful tips for dealing with conflict

15. What is mediation?
The parties meet to discuss and resolve a dispute with the assistance of an impartial third party – the mediator
Mediators:
Facilitate communication
Encourage the exchange of information
Urge the parties to look at the problem from different perspectives
Help them to explore ideas for resolution
Different from Arbitration
In mediation the parties make the decisions
We’d like to suggest that you consider mediation as one option to deal with business and workplace conflict
What is mediation…

16. Adjudication vs Mediation
What does it look like? Panel members will describe it as part of their stories in a moment
This slide tries to depict the difference between court or arbitration vs mediation environment
Which would you rather be in to resolve your business disputes?
In addition to mediation itself, we suggest that you consider:
Creating a policy which provides your business with a tailored conflict resolution system. The policy will clarify the steps to take when a conflict arises and it can build mediation right into the process. That normalizes the use of mediation (avoids any stigma) and encourages its use.
Including a tiered dispute resolution clause in all of your contracts (negotiation – mediation – arbitration? – litigation)
Variations on the mediation theme including “conflict coaching” – uses the same skill set

17. Why mediation? Mediation saves money
Mediation is quicker compared to a court action
Mediation works
It can be used for many types of conflicts
It is practical, safe and private
It can help to maintain relationships and provide opportunities for personal growth
It can offer unique solutions not available through court
It provides settlement agreements which are enforceable
Settlement rates are high
People are very satisfied with the mediation process
We are not saying that mediation is appropriate for ALL types of disputes
But its advantages are so compelling it should at least be considered as an option

18. Family mediation More affordable, timely and accessible
Considers interests/needs in addition to legal rights
Uniquely tailored solutions
Preserves relationships
Families make their own decisions
Agreements legally binding once signed by both parties
Wide variety of issues…
Mediation is not:
Counseling / therapy
Reconciliation
A substitute for legal advice
No one knows the unique needs of a family and children better than the couple themselves. Mediation lets families create their own arrangements rather than handing that power over to an unknown decision-maker with legal authority.
When children are involved, former spouses usually continue to have a co-parenting relationship after divorce or separation. Mediation can help develop better channels of communication and build a new and appropriate relationship.
Mediation is done in a private setting.
Agreements reached in mediation are legally binding once they are signed by both parties.

19. The New BC Family Law Act
Family mediators must be highly qualified
Mediators must:
Assess for family violence
Discuss various dispute resolution options
Advise of facilities and other resources to help the family
It is very important for families to select a family mediator who is highly qualified SAFETY is paramount
There are many people who call themselves family mediators but have no or insufficient training and experience
Mediate BC Family Roster mediators are highly skilled
We want to help you ensure that your family receives the best mediation services possible
In addition to Mediate BC’s Family Roster, the Act also refers to:
Family Mediation Canada
Family justice counsellors – describe services
Family law mediators – lawyers who have achieved the Law Society’s qualifications for family mediation
Others who have satisfied a very long list of training and experience requirements

20. The New BC Family Law Act (cont’d)
Puts the interests of children first
Encourages families to use mediation and other dispute resolution options before using the courts
Agreements are emphasized
Here are three key points about the new BC Family Law Act – that relate to family mediation

21. How can Mediate BC help your business?
Mediate BC Society is the BC hub for mediation information, services and programs
We are a not-for-profit society committed to providing people with practical, accessible and affordable choices to prevent, manage and resolve disputes.
We are shifting the culture to healthier conflict choices
We can help you:
figure out if mediation would be helpful in your situation
find a mediator on one of our Rosters
design a customized conflict resolution program for your business
Explain the rosters
Mediate BC manages a list of qualified civil and family mediators as well as information about the mediators on British Columbia's Child Protection Mediation Program Roster. Our mediators must meet stringent training and experience admission standards, carry insurance, take ongoing training and follow our Standards of Conduct

22. What’s next – Real Life Examples
Questions?
What’s next – Real Life Examples
Any questions?

23. Questions and Discussion