1. FRUITFUL USE OF LEISURE TIME, CULTIVATING A HEALTHY SOCIAL LIFE

2. Teens intellectual characteristics
Able to solve problems, think about their future. However teens tend to use their skills inconsistently at times without thinking first.
Improved organizational skills. Many successfully juggle school and outside activities.

3. In an attempt to answer the question “who am I. and What should I be
In an attempt to answer the question “who am I? and What should I be?” teens listen to new music, try out clothing fashions etc.
They frequently question and challenge school and parental rules.

4. TEENS SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL CHARACTERISTICS
Spend less time with families. Prefer friends and be alone.
Try to make close friends and may become part of a group based on interests.
Want to control over more aspects of their life. Independence in decision making.

5. Their most immediate responses to rules are:
But why?
How?
It doesn’t make sense.
It is not the modern way of doing things.

6. Excited and at the same time overwhelmed by the possibilities for their future.
Like adults, get really depressed at times.

7. AVERAGE TEENAGER’S PERCEPTION OF LEISURE
Time to do nothing
It is their own time. Their choices should be respected.
Time to release stress. Associate school, homework, chores with stress.

8. Average parents’ perception
Less engaging but beneficial activities: learning a new instrument, visiting, acquiring new skill etc.
Time when they risk and acquire bad habits.
An excuse for teen to waste time and laze around.

9. How do we merge the two perceptions?
Balance between the realization that a teen needs leisure time and ensuring that this is done in a manner that is not detrimental to the teenager.

10. The teenager
He defines himself relative to the other teens. He has a need to be with his friends.
During primary school years: his choice of friends required approval from the parents.
- Playing outside with friends, family visits/ parties. Parents made decisions

11. During secondary life: he has a right to choose his friends mostly without a second opinion from parents.
- Playing outside is minimized, hanging out seems to be the in thing.

12. Who defines teen’s social life agenda?
Peers/ social media.
Entertainment joints. The Junction, the Mall at Westlands, Sarit, Village market, the Hub, Two rivers, TRM
Party organizers, concerts:
A.K.A April rapper
Diplo (American DJ) 2017 Carnival

13. Striking the elusive balance
Discussing leisure time with the boy.
Guiding him in areas of strength and weakness.
Voicing our concerns.

14. Worrying trends
Addiction to gadgets mostly the internet and TV (movies and series).
Many live double lives. In the eyes of the teachers and parents they seem to be okay. They have another ‘world’ where the value system is very different.

15. A few use excuses such as studying in the library on Saturday at 1
A few use excuses such as studying in the library on Saturday at 1.00pm, or going to Hodari club…
A few are doing well in class and justify their quest for freedom. This end up undermining their performance in F4 when workload increases.

16. Social media craze – YouTube, Instagram, snap chats, FB.
House parties with hidden agenda. Some of these parents are not aware of.
Day – time parties and discos during holidays.
The Betting craze which is a great source of income.

17. They use older friends to access money through Mpesa transactions.
Use random ID numbers
They bribe the bouncers to access entry in Clubs.
Alcohol and drug abuse mostly bhang.

18. WAY FORWARD
Parents the most influential models: they cannot afford to give the impression that they are bored or that they rest by doing nothing.

19. Parents must be
Concerned about activities which will foster development. For example limit activities which lead them to isolate themselves (as happens with TV, play stations or internet) – REGULATE these activities.

20. Know your teens well so as to assist in leisure activities that match their interests and abilities.
Set rules and privileges based on level of maturity and not age.
Let the teen design his own timetable incorporating all his activities.

21. This will include 20 hours of study per week, housework, leisure time activities, sports etc.
Have some control over his use of pocket money. Criteria: not too much, and should a fixed amount per week/ fortnight or monthly.

22. Talk a lot to him, about his friends and get to know them personally
Talk a lot to him, about his friends and get to know them personally. Encourage them to invite these friends at home.
Control of time: to stick to the scheduled outings time e.g. Collect him at agreed – upon time.

23. Show genuine interest
Be quick to recognize and praise effort and improvement.
Give positive criticism and offer hope. Negotiate rules. The more controlling you try to be the more rebellious the teen is likely to be.

24. Discuss consequences of breaking rules
Give second chance if they mess.
Talk to him on ways to handle peer pressure: drinking, smoking and indecent acts with girls. Teach them to say no.

25. Conclusion:
Try to become and remain the best friends of your sons for you to reach into his life.
Remember that teenagers with no mentors end up using trial and error methods which can be risky at times.
These last years of his teens are crucial in making or breaking a character.

26. Take time to understand him. Guide him where necessary.
The teen should feel comfortable talking openly with you and need to know that they will not be punished if he’s honest.

27. THANK YOU