1. Letters and Memos that Carry Negative News
C H A P T E R
Letters and Memos that Carry Negative News 8

2. Learning Objectives
Identify the need for indirectness in delivering bad news.
Recognize six components in an effective indirect strategy.
Apply skilful writing techniques in refusing requests.
Retain good will while refusing claims.
Demonstrate tact in refusing credit requests.

3. Before Applying the Indirect Writing Strategy
Analyze the message.
Anticipate the reader’s reaction.
Know when to be direct

4. Elements of the Indirect Strategy
Buffer
Transition
Explanation
Bad news
Alternative(s)
Goodwill closing

5. Develop a Good Buffer Reduces or cushions the shock of negative news.
Provides a neutral or positive opening that does not reveal the bad news. Is
neutral
upbeat
relevant

6. Build a Smooth Transition
Guides the reader to an explanation that follows.
Plants a key word or idea in the buffer and/or transition that leads the reader to reasons for refusal.

7. Present the Explanation
Presents sound reasons for denying a request.
Projects an unemotional, objective, and helpful tone.

8. De-emphasize Bad News Avoid the spotlight.
Put the bad news in the middle of a paragraph halfway through the letter.
Use a long sentence.
Don’t put bad news in a short, simple sentence.
Put the bad news in a subordinate clause.

9. De-emphasize Bad News
I realize that the new accountant, if hired, would help all departments prepare tax information. You realize, however, that because the fiscal year ends this month, most department
funds are earmarked. Although financial support for additional help cannot be provided by the departments, most employees are willing to devote extra time and effort during tax preparation.

10. De-emphasize Bad News Use the passive voice.
Although financial support cannot be provided by the departments for additional help, most employees are willing to devote extra time and effort during tax preparation.

11. De-emphasize Bad News Be clear but not overly graphic.
Imply the refusal.
I realize that the new accountant, if hired, would help all departments prepare tax information. You realize, however, that because the fiscal year ends this month, most department funds are earmarked.

12. De-emphasize Bad News Offer an alternative.
Although financial support cannot be provided by the departments for additional help, most employees are willing to devote extra time and effort during tax preparation.

13. Close With Goodwill
Provide courteous, pleasant, and forward-looking closing that doesn’t refer directly to the bad news.
We hope that the dedication of the present staff will contribute to successful tax preparation.

14. Close With Goodwill Avoid closings that Refer to the bad news
Conclude with clichés
Invite further correspondence

15. Writing Plan for Refusing Requests and Claims
Buffer:
Identify previous correspondence incidentally or in a subject line.
Begin with a neutral statement on which both reader and writer can agree.

16. Writing Plan for Refusing Requests and Claims
Friendly refusal for a cash refund
Dear Mr. Durante:
SUBJECT: YOUR MAY 15 LETTER
You are one of nearly 500 individuals who took advantage of our membership campaign and joined the MegaGym physical fitness program. We’re glad that you have been able to use our outstanding training equipment and our workout classes for the past seven months.
Identifies previous correspondence.
Neutral statement.

17. Writing Plan for Refusing Requests and Claims
Transition:
Plant a key idea or word that leads naturally to the explanation.

18. Writing Plan for Refusing Requests and Claims
You are one of nearly 500 individuals who took advantage of our membership campaign and joined the MegaGym physical fitness program. We’re glad that you have been able to use our outstanding training equipment and our workout classes for the past seven months.
Because of the success of our membership campaign, we have been able to add a number of state-of-the-art equipment units.
Key Word.

19. Writing Plan for Refusing Requests and Claims
Explanation:
Present valid reasons for the refusal.

20. Writing Plan for Refusing Requests and Claims
Because of the success of our membership campaign, we have been able to add a number of state-of-the-art equipment units. This and other improvements depend on the contracts signed by individuals like you. We hire employees, schedule workouts, and purchase equipment based on the number of contract memberships in effect.
Explanation is logical and objective.

21. Writing Plan for Refusing Requests and Claims
Bad News:
Soften the blow by de-emphasizing refusal.

22. Writing Plan for Refusing Requests and Claims
To allow membership contracts to be broken would make it impossible for us to fulfill our commitments to our employees and to our members. Although your contract payment cannot be refunded, we can deactivate your membership. When you return from your overseas assignment, you may resume your active status and use the remaining five months of your membership.
Refusal is softened by position, wording, and alternative.

23. Writing Plan for Refusing Requests and Claims
Closing:
Renew good feelings with a positive statement.

24. Writing Plan for Refusing Requests and Claims
Goodwill closing focuses on making alternative
easy to accept.
Enclosed is a form for you to return regarding the status of your membership. You can count on MegaGym to help you get back in shape when you are able to resume your membership.

25. Writing Plan for Refusing Credit
Buffer:
Express appreciation for order or for credit application.
Include resale information if appropriate.
Dear Ms. Rhodes:
We genuinely appreciate your application of April 3 for a Holt Platinum credit card.

26. Writing Plan for Refusing Credit
Transition:
Move from buffer to explanation logically.
Repeat key idea or word if possible.
We consider many factors in our evaluation process, and the requirements for this type of card are demanding.

27. Writing Plan for Refusing Credit
Explanation:
Describe submission of application to credit-reporting agency.
Do not specify reasons for denial.
Use objective language.

28. Writing Plan for Refusing Credit
We consider many factors in our evaluation process, and the requirements for this type of card are demanding. After receiving a report of your current credit record from TRW Information Services, we find that a Platinum card cannot be issued at this time.

29. Writing Plan for Refusing Credit
Bad News:
Imply refusal or state it respectfully.
Offer alternatives, if possible.
Suggest possible extension of future credit here or in the closing.

30. Writing Plan for Refusing Credit
After receiving a report of your current credit record from TRW Information Services, we find that a Platinum card cannot be issued at this time. If you feel your credit report contains inaccurate information, please contact TRW and follow the instructions on the enclosed sheet to verify your report.

31. Writing Plan for Refusing Credit
Closing:
Project an optimistic look to the future.
Thanks, Ms. Rhodes, for the confidence you have shown in Holt. We invite you to continue shopping at our stores, and we look forward to your reapplication in the future.

32. Credit Refusals That Retain Business
Avoid language that causes hard feelings.
Include only factually correct information. Avoid adding your opinions or suggestions.
Strive to retain customers on a cash basis
Prepare for possible future credit--without raising false expectations.

33. Try Your Skill
Revise the following refusals so that the bad news appears in a subordinate clause or discuss strategies for revising.

34. Try Your Skill
1. We cannot fill your order because we are out of Model X-25 printer stands. We can, however, substitute Model X-35, which can be shipped immediately.
Although we are out of Model X-25 printer stands, we can ship immediately Model X-35.

35. Try Your Skill
2. Kable Connection cannot extend credit on your Express Card number. However, we can extend credit if you apply for a Kable Card.
Although Kable Connection cannot extend credit on your Express Card number, we can extend credit if you apply for a Kable Card.

36. Try Your Skill
Convert the following sentences from active to passive voice.
1. I am unable to make a cash contribution this year because of unusually high taxes.
A cash contribution this year is impossible because of unusually high taxes.

37. Try Your Skill 2. We cannot process your application this month.
Your application cannot be processed this month.
3. The Transit Authority no longer authorizes reduced fare for college students.
Reduced fares for college students are no longer authorized.

38. Try Your Skill
Study the following openings of actual bad-news letters from well-known companies (with names changed). Discuss strategies for improving the remaining letters—if they need revision. Use the following questions to guide your discussion.
Does the bad-news letter follow an indirect strategy?
Does it open with a buffer?
Does the letter require revision to retain goodwill?

39. Big Name Cable TV Company
Try Your Skill
Ineffective:
Big Name Cable TV Company
Dear Customer:
In order to provide you with the best in customer service, to maintain continued picture quality, and to continue delivering the cable programming you currently enjoy, we must adjust our rates.
Like every business in town, we are faced with increased operating costs.

40. Big Name Cable TV Company
Try Your Skill
Improved:
Big Name Cable TV Company
Dear Valued Customer:
For many years Big name Cable TV Company has prided itself on bringing you remarkable programming and responsive service while keeping customer costs at the lowest in the cable industry.
Like every business in town, however, we are faced with increased operating costs. In order to continue providing you with the best in customer service, to maintain continued picture quality, and to continue delivering the cable programming you currently enjoy, we find it necessary to adjust our rates.

41. Best-Known Garden Product Company
Try Your Skill
Ineffective:
Best-Known Garden Product Company
Dear Unhappy Vegetable Gardener:
I am very sorry that you are dissatisfied with the performance of the PlentiFul plant food product in your garden. We take great care in blending the finest water soluble plant foods. I am inclined to believe that your dissatisfaction with our product is due to some misunderstanding of how water soluble plant foods should be used or due to some other factor in your garden completely unrelated to the plant food.

42. Big Pharmaceutical Company
Try Your Skill
Ineffective:
Big Pharmaceutical Company
Dear Mr. Manning:
Thank you for writing about our product, OptiTears. We can certainly understand your concern over experiencing eye discomfort following use of this particular bottle. It was helpful of you to return the bottle of OptiTears in question so that our laboratories can analyze the product for conformance to specifications. Results of the analysis provide useful information in our continual product evaluations and will be made available to you.