1. Ten Things You Should Discuss Before Marriage

2. 1. Marriage – who, what & why?
Why get married
Lot of bad reasons
Have proper attitude toward marriage
Expectations
Fidelity

3. What kind of people are you?
Talk frankly about perceptions of themselves and each other
Nice to know that someone loves despite some not so personality quirks
Negative feelings are bound to surface
Nagging is a negative sign
What does couple want out of life?

4. Who’s going to do the dishes?
Are there role/gender expectations
Who makes decisions on
Investments
Insurance
Where to live
Job opportunities

5. What is your relationship to your families?
Families influence expectations for marriage & not all families do/expect the same things
Develop ground rules to follow with families
Ex. People should call before dropping by
How/Where will holidays/vacations be spent?

6. How well will you communicate?
Open & Honest communication and sharing of feelings
Risk of rejection prevents people from revealing inmost feelings and thoughts
Do they enjoy talking with each other?
Can they share thoughts and feelings honestly

7. How independent or dependent should you be?
How to maintain your individuality in the midst of being a couple?
Personal Freedom/room for growth
Plenty of quality time with freedom to pursue individual interests
Freedom with members of opposite sex?

8. How should money be handled?
How much money does it take to live?
Expenses
Budget
Savings
Medical care
Education
Who will handle money/bills
Vacations, movies, dinners?
Source of many conflicts w/in marriage

9. What about the sexual expression of love?
How often does each expect to make love?
Adjusting to being/seeing each other in less than optimal settings
Ie. Bathroom
How do you adjust to living with your spouse 24/7

10. What about children? How many? When? NFP? The how to.
Who will care for children?
Philosophy of raising children?
Discipline
Education
Activities

11. How will you deal with spiritual aspects of marriage?
Marriage is a Sacrament and important part of their faith
Does each spouse plan to actively participate in Church/worship?
Have they discussed religion, image of God, beliefs, doubts, prayer?
Esp. imp. For couples of different faith/denominations
FLEXIBILITY