1. CONFLICT
4 WAYS OF DEALING WITH IT

2. AVOIDANCE
Take no action
AVOID contact, people, topic

3. CONQUEST
Competition
Win-lose
Win at all costs
AGGRESSIVE
Self-focused

4. COMPROMISE Win-lose (lose-lose?) So-so approach Passive
Must be avoided on issues relating to values

5. ACCOMMODATION
Win-lose
Gives in
Can be passive-aggressive

6. INTEGRATION Win-win No loser ASSERTIVE, not aggressive
Co-operative; everyone is heard and the problem itself is addressed without being lost in an emotional cloud of words
Cool heads required!

7. Emotional atom bombs !! Beware!
Naming, shaming and blaming
Passive-aggressive - revenge
Stonewalling
Withdrawal
Attack/defence
Rewriting or replaying history
Always and never-ing
Manipulating

8. Fighting fairly.... No interrupting
Tell the truth using “I” messages – kindly!
Avoid too many words, excuses
Have courage
Keep your cool, have Big Match Temp.
Look for a resolution, not a win
Put yourself in the other’s shoes – identify their perceptions, fears etc

9. SOLVE the problem
S = state the facts; see the problem for what it REALLY is – no blame or opinions
O = organise: is there something that can be done immediately?
L = Learn all you can about the issue
V = Have a vision of what success will look like
E = Evaluate afterwards and adjust