1. Why do Some Teens Have Sex?
7th Grade Lesson 5B

2. So, Why Do Some Teens Have Sex?
I’m in Love, I want to be loved
It’s Fun / Feels Good
My Friends Are Doing It
It’s Grown Up
I Want a Baby
It’s Natural
I’m Curious
I’m Drunk! / High!
I Was Pressured!
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Let’s review the reasons some teens have sex. Are any of these good reasons? (Allow time for student responses.) Many of these reasons are because people find themselves in unhealthy relationships and don’t think about long-term consequences.

3. “I’m in Love, I want to be loved!”
Love  Sex
Sex  Love
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Many people have been heartbroken because they decided to have sex with someone who said “I love you.” To love someone means you would never put them in harm’s way. If someone says that sex is a way to prove love, they are putting you in harm’s way. This could lead to a pregnancy or an STD. Many people feel that pregnancy or an STD can never happen to them. Do you know of a teenager who got pregnant? They probably thought it couldn’t happen to them. If a person really loves you, they wouldn’t pressure you to have sex because of their love. How many of you have heard of emotional problems associated with sexual activity?
This can lead to heartbreak

4. “It’s Fun!” “It Feels Good!”
But, what are the consequences?
TEACHER SCRIPT:
We all want to do things that are fun and exciting, such as going to sporting events, riding a roller coaster, or going to a movie with friends. We want to do new things as we grow up like learning how to drive a car. All these things are fun and exciting. Having fun and playing make us happy, but we must make sure that the things we do to make us feel good or have fun in the short-term do not cause unhappiness in the long-term. For example, some kids smoke cigarettes or do drugs because “it’s fun” or “it feels good.” Unfortunately, these activities can lead to immediate and/or long-term health and legal consequences. The same can be said about teens and sex. The lifelong consequences of sex can be pregnancy, STDs, legal problems, or emotional consequences.

5. “My friends are doing it!”
Everyone is NOT doing it.
Most teens today are NOT having sex.
Choose your friends wisely!
TEACHER SCRIPT:
The number of teens having sexual intercourse has decreased. The number of high school students who are remaining abstinent has increased. In fact, over half the high school students in the United States surveyed in 2009 have never had vaginal intercourse.1 They recognize the benefits of abstinence and have future plans that they don’t want to risk having disrupted. Choosing abstinence will require you to resist negative peer pressure. It’s important to surround yourself with friends who are not involved in risky behaviors. If your friends are involved in risky behaviors, you are more likely to also become involved in those behaviors.
1Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance, United States, MMWR. 59(SS-05) June 4, 2010.
Peer Pressure

6. “It’s Grown Up!” Sex doesn’t make you a “man” or a “woman.”
Waiting shows responsibility and maturity.
Can you financially provide for all your needs?
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Having sex does not make a person a man or woman. In fact, not having sex as a teen shows you have self-control and that you feel personally responsible for your actions, a definite sign of maturity that will lead to happiness and success in the future. One other aspect of maturity has to do with being self-sufficient. Are you self-sufficient? Mature adults can pay their own bills, hold down a job, and care for their family. Most 7th graders aren’t ready to do that.
Maturity includes taking responsibility for your actions. You are not ready for the responsibilities of sex (possible pregnancy or STDs). Do you think the teenagers that you know who have a baby were ready for that baby? You show maturity by taking responsibility for your educational success because that is YOUR responsibility.
Why do you think teens say that having sex makes them feel grown up? (Discuss these answers.)

7. “I Want Someone To Love Me!”

8. WRONG! “I Want To Have a Baby!” “My baby will always love me.”
“I will always have someone to love.”
“My boyfriend will stay with me.”
WRONG!

9. “I’m Ready To Have A Baby!”
FACTS:
Teen parents get less education.
Teen parents make less money.
Babies born to teens have a tougher life.
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Sometimes, we may feel neglected or unloved for a variety of reasons. Some teens think having a baby to love will fill this emptiness in their life. Is this fair to the baby? Would you really want to bring a baby into this type of situation? Consider how taking care of a baby as a teenager would limit what you could do. It is hard to focus on your future goals and dreams when you have to focus on a baby. It is tough to enjoy extracurricular activities when you have a baby to worry about.

10. “It’s Natural!” VS. Impulsive Self-Control TEACHER SCRIPT:
The desire to have sex is natural but just because you want to have sex does not mean you should.
For example, if someone makes you angry, your impulse might be to hit them; but as you mature, you learn self-control. You learn acceptable ways to deal with your feelings. This also applies to sexual urges. Acting impulsively on sexual feelings can result in very serious consequences. Each of you needs to plan in advance how you will react when faced with a decision about having sex. By having a plan, you will be able to use self-control and reasoning instead of acting impulsively on your sexual urges.
What other things seem “natural” but are really not the best choice for you? Answers may include: overeating leading to obesity, smoking, and not doing physical activity/exercise.
Impulsive
Self-Control

11. “I’m Curious!” It just happened. I heard it feels good.
I wanted to try
something new.
It just happened.
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Adolescents are naturally curious about things they have never done. This curiosity sometimes leads to risky behavior. One excuse often given for having sex is “It just happened.” That is why it is so important for teens to have a plan before finding themselves in a sexual situation. Even better, don’t let yourself get into a situation that could lead to sex. Don’t go to your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s house when the parents aren’t at home. It is hard to decide what is “too far” when in the middle of kissing, hugging, etc. in the back seat of the car. Decide what your limits are and stick to them no matter what peer pressures are directed towards you. “ I was bored” or “I wanted to try something new” are other excuses given. Just like “it just happened,” teens need to set their limits before ever getting in a situation where it could happen. Even if teens have been sexually active in the past, they can renew their abstinence starting today.
I was bored.

12. “I was drunk!” “I was high!”
“I didn’t know what I was doing.”
“I couldn’t stop them.”
“I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Drugs and alcohol are directly linked to teens having sex. Many teens who normally would not have sex end up doing so while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Even if you don’t want to have sex, you may be physically unable to protect yourself. Drugs and alcohol hurt your body and mind. They make you think you are in control, BUT YOU ARE NOT. Traffic accident deaths are often caused by drunk drivers who THOUGHT they were in control, but they were NOT. You only have one body and one mind; take good care of yourself and make good decisions. Just like alcohol and drugs, sex as an adolescent can have very serious lifelong consequences.

13. “I’m Angry!” “I don’t want anyone telling me what to do.”
“I just want to.”
“I want attention.”
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Teens who are having sex out of anger are using this behavior to get back at authority figures (e.g., parents or other family members). They might be upset because their parents won’t let them do something they want to do or go somewhere they want to go. Sometimes teens are angry because their parents are divorced or separated. Although teens might think they are hurting others, they are really hurting themselves when they have sex.

14. “I Was Pressured!” You do not owe anyone sex.
Pressuring someone into having sex is WRONG!
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Some young people are pressured into having sex. Forced sex is always wrong. Having sex with someone is a choice. If someone is pressuring you or threatening you in order to get sex from you, get out of the situation, and tell a trusted adult. You should not feel obligated to have sex. Just because someone is nice to you, buys you gifts, or spends money on you is not a reason to be pressured into having sex.
Older boys may pay attention to younger girls. It makes these young girls feel good because older boys are noticing them. The girls feel loved. Unfortunately, these older males often pressure the younger girls into having sex. Girls should be warned that dating older boys puts the younger girls at risk for teenage sexual activity and for all of the problems that can go along with it.

15. Know How to Stand Up for Yourself
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Since these pressures are real and a common reason for sexual activity, it’s important that we know how to stand up for ourselves.

16. Yes, No, Yes
When someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do, say
Yes to the friendship,
No to the activity, and
Yes to a positive activity
TEACHER SCRIPT:
The yes, no, yes approach is a non-confrontational assertive approach to standing up for yourself.

17. For Example
Him: You said you like me. If you like me, then you should come with me to my house.
Her: I do like you (yes), but I’m not going there (no). Let’s go to the game (yes). That’s where I told my mom we would be.
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Read the slide.

18. So, Why Do Some Teens Have Sex?
I’m in Love, I want to be loved
It’s Fun/Feels Good
My Friends Are Doing It
It’s Grown Up
I Want a Baby
It’s Natural
I’m Curious
I was Drunk/High!
I Was Pressured!
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Let’s review the reasons some teens have sex. Are any of these good reasons? (Allow time for student responses.)

19. Are Any of These Good Reasons To Have Sex?NO
TEACHER SCRIPT:
The reasons teens list for having sex cannot prevent the potential consequences of sexual activity. I want to encourage you to make a healthy life choice. Abstinence is the healthiest choice for teens.

20. Abstinence is a decision not to have sex (vaginal, oral, or anal) until in a committed relationship (example-marriage). Renewed abstinence is a decision someone makes after having sex not to have it again until in a committed relationship.
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Having sex is a big responsibility. If a person chooses not to engage in sexual activity, this is called abstinence; “to abstain” means to wait. If teens choose abstinence, they do not have to worry about pregnancy, STDs, or how they might feel emotionally after sex. This is why abstinence from sexual activity is considered the healthiest choice for teens.
However, what if someone has already had sex or was forced or pressured to have sex? Can they still choose abstinence? Yes! Whether or not you have sex should always be your choice. Someone who stops having sex and decides to wait until they are older and in a committed relationship before having it again has chosen renewed abstinence. Today, more and more teens are choosing abstinence or renewed abstinence from sexual activity as the best choice for them.

21. Until in a Committed Relationship (Such as Marriage)
Waiting To Have Sex
Until in a Committed Relationship (Such as Marriage)
is the
Healthiest Choice!
You are...
TEACHER SCRIPT:
By remaining abstinent until in a committed relationship (such as marriage) neither person has to worry about bringing STDs, a child, or emotional baggage into their lifelong commitment. Set your standards high. To have the best possible chances in life, challenge yourself to remain abstinent from all risky behaviors including sexual activity. When making a decision, stop, think and consider the consequences. Then do the right thing. You are worth the wait!
WORTH THE WAIT!

22. WORTH THE WAIT®. You are . . . Stop Think Do the Right Thing for You.
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Set your standards high. To have the best possible chances in life, challenge yourself to remain abstinent. When making a decision, stop, think and consider the consequences. Then do the right thing. You are worth the wait!
WORTH THE WAIT®.

23. Forcing sex on someone is a serious crime.
Sexual Assault (Rape) ...
is sexual intercourse, oral sex, or contact with or penetration of the genitals or anus without the victim’s consent or doing those things to a child.
is using force or threats to accomplish any of these acts regardless of age.
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Harassment can sometimes lead to sexual assault. However, there does not have to be harassment before an assault takes place. Sexual assault is commonly known as “rape.” Sexual assault can be any genital, oral, or anal penetration by a part of the body or object without the victim’s consent or doing those things to a child. For example, in Texas, no one under the age of 17 can legally consent to sexual activity; therefore, even if that person says “Yes,” the law says “No.”
Forcing sex on someone else is a serious crime no matter what their age.
Note: Each state has laws regarding at what age it is legal to consent to sex. Some also have a specific age for statutory rape (aggravated sexual assault). Teachers should contact a local attorney or other legal official to verify the specific ages in their states.
Forcing sex on someone is a serious crime.

24. Sexual Assault: Date Rape
Date Rape is forced or unwanted sexual activity that occurs on a date.
About half of all sexual assaults occur on dates.
Most sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows.
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Some of you are just starting to date or go to events as part of a couple. Let’s talk about a particular type of sexual assault called date rape. The two people on the date might kiss, hug, and touch each other in sexual ways. Rape occurs when one of the two people wants to stop the sexual activity, and the other person refuses to stop. Sexual intercourse is then forced on the person who wants to stop. This is sexual activity without consent and is against the law. Just like with childhood sexual abuse, most sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows.
An example of a sexual assault called date rape might be the following scenario of a 15-year old boy and his 15-year old girlfriend. They are on a date; the boy wants to have sex and the girl refuses. Despite her refusal, he forces her to have sexual intercourse. He has committed sexual assault or date rape. The girl, her parents, or the police could file charges accusing the boy of this crime.
Date rape is frequently not reported because victims feel guilty. They may think that it was their fault because they encouraged the sexual activity or that they led the other person on. The victims might also be afraid that no one will believe that they wanted to stop. Many of these rapes go unpunished for these reasons. It is important to know that no one has the right to force sex on you! It is extremely important to report this or any other type of assault. It’s also a good idea to seek counseling if you are ever a victim of rape. Rape is a very traumatic experience.
“Facts about sexual assault.” Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network.

25. What if Someone Attempts to Sexually Assault Me?
Say NO.
Get AWAY
TELL someone.
BE BELIEVED.
TEACHER SCRIPT:
If someone attempts to assault you, it is important to BOLDLY say no, get away from the individual, and tell someone. Unreported offenders are likely to offend again. You may help prevent another assault by telling a trusted adult.

26. What if Sexual Assault Happens to Me?
Don’t blame yourself—sexual assault is NEVER your fault.
Get help—tell a trusted adult and REPORT the assault.
BE BELIEVED.
TEACHER SCRIPT:
It is never your fault if you are sexually assaulted. NO ONE has the right to harass you. NO one has the right to force you to have sex or to touch you sexually-not even your boyfriend or girlfriend! If you were assaulted, you need to tell someone about it. If someone gave you date rape drugs or club drugs, you might not clearly remember if you were assaulted. Even if you think you might have been assaulted, you need to tell someone you trust about the incident. If the first person you tell doesn’t seem to believe you, tell another person. Keep telling until you are believed.
Who would you tell if you were assaulted? (Allow time for student responses.)

27. Have a Personal Plan... Set sexual LIMITS. Communicate your limits.
Be with others who RESPECT those limits.
Listen to your instincts; if you have a bad feeling, it’s probably a bad situation
Abstinence is the healthiest choice.
TEACHER SCRIPT:
Before ever getting into a sexual situation, set sexual limits. Before you even start dating, decide with what physical activity you are comfortable. Do you feel comfortable with holding hands, kissing, etc? Let these limits be your guide as you begin any relationship and are faced with sexual situations. It is important to communicate these limits to your date and friends. Don’t assume they know your wishes. You have the right to change these limits at any time.
Develop relationships with people who treat you with kindness and respect. Select activities and locations that are safe and where trusted adults are available. Remember that you never “owe” sex to anyone for any reason and that you always have the right to say “NO.”