1. Conflict Management
R210C Pastoral Formation

2. Defining Conflict
The process that begins when one party perceives that another party has negatively affected, or is about to negatively affect, something that the first party cares about.
AKA : “Someone else messed up something I care about.”
Three approaches:
Traditional, Human relations, interactionist
Traditional = 30s-40s . Try to avoid.
Human Relations = 40s to 70s. It’s natural, try to embrace it .
Interactionist = today . Natural, but not all of it is good.

3. Resolve through 5-Stage Conflict Process
Two Types of Conflict
Functional- Conflict that supports the goals of the group and performs its performances.
Dysfunctional- Destructive conflict that holds back the group’s performance.
Resolve through 5-Stage Conflict Process

4. Stage One: Recognize Potential for Conflict
The pieces are there for conflict to happen
Communication?
Too little communication can do it…
Structure?
Poor organization structure can do it…
Personal Issues?
Might be something personal or psychological…

5. Stage 2: Cognition and Personalization
Perceived Conflict
Conflict that you can observe, see
Note: You might be aware of it, but you might not necessarily feel it.
E.g. “ I can see we disagree.”
Felt Conflict
It becomes emotional: causes anxiety, tenseness, frustration or hostility.

6. Stage 3: Intentions How a Conflict Situation is handled… Competing
Collaborating
Avoiding
Accommodating
Which conflict style do you have? Take questionnaire.

7. Assertiveness Cooperativeness
Dimensions!
Competing
Collaborating
Assertiveness
Compromising
Avoiding
Accommodating
Cooperativeness

8. Notes about Intentions
Intentions provide general guidelines and define each party’s purpose…
But they’re not permanent…you can change them!

9. Stage 4: Behavior
Is your behavior descructive for resolving the conflict or building towards consensus?

10. Stage 5: Outcome
While it’s hard to imagine conflict as functional or productive… it can be!
Can improve the quality of decisions, stimulates creativity and innovations…
Can be used to challenge the status quo…

11. Conflict-Management Strategies
Negotiation

12. Negotiation
It’s the process in which two or more parties attempt to agree.
Possible Outcomes in Negotiation:
You Win, they lose
You Lose, they win
You Lose, they lose
No Deal
You win, they win

13. The Win/Win Negotiation Process
Not so much a technique, but a philosophy for human interaction!
Requires:
Personal Character
Relationships of Trust
Shared Agreements
Supportive Environment to use win/win solutions
A Functional Process

14. Guidelines for Win/Win Negotiation

15. 1. See the Problem from Other’s Point of View
Perception:
Don’t blame them for your problems
Discuss each other’s perceptions
Look for opportunities to act inconsistently with their perception
Make proposals are consistent with their values
Emotion
Recognize and understand emotions, yours and theirs.
Make them known and obvious, acknowledge them as legitimate
Allow the other side to steam
Do not react to emotional outbursts

16. 1. See the Problem from Other’s Point of View
Communication
Listen ethically and actively and acknowledge what is being said
Speak to be understood
Speak about yourself, not about them
Speak for a purpose
Prevention works best
Build a working relationship
Face the problem, not the people

17. 2. Identify the Key Issues and Concerns
Reconcile interests, not positions:
Interests define the problem.
Identity shared and compatible interests
How do you identify interests?
Ask “Why?” Ask “Why not?”
Are the interests related to human needs, such as maintaining dignity?
Make list of interests
Talk about Interests.
Share your interests, alive and compelling.
Acknowledge their interests, validate, look for strength.
Reconcile, look forward, concrete and flexible.

18. Step 3: Determine what results would constitute a fully acceptable solution.
A little self explained…

19. Step 4: Identify Alternative, New Solutions
Brainstorm…
Other ways to reach outcome that reconciles interests
What outcomes can be “released” or differentiated?
Obstacles to Finding Alternatives?
Premature judgment
Searching for the single answer
Assumption of “fixed pie”
Thinking that solving their problem is their problem

20. The Four essential Parts of the Sacrament of Reconciliation (OP 6)
Contrition
Most Important
Confession by the Sinner
Act of Penance
Absolution
OP stands for Ordo Paenitentiae (Rite of Penance)
Metanoia, a profound change of the whole person by which we begin to consider, judge, and arrange our life according to the holiness and love of God, made manifest in his Son in the last days and given to us in abundance.” (OP 6a)
The confession of sins come from “true knowledge of self before God and from contrition for those sins.
“However, the inner examination of heart and the outward accusation must be made in the light of God’s mercy.” (OP 6b)
The Doctor Analogy
“True conversion is completed by expiation (correction, reform) for the sins committed, by amendment of life, and also by rectifying injuries done.
“The kind and extent of the expiation must be suited to the personal condition of penitents so that they may restore the order that they have upset and through the corresponding remedy be cured of the sickness from which they suffered.” (OP 6c)
God, the Father of mercies,
Through the death and resurrection of his Son
Has reconciled the world to himself
And sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins;
Through the ministry of the Church
May God give you pardon and peace,
And I absolve you from the your sins
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, (+) and of the Holy Spirit.

21. A comparison Contrition Confession Penance Absolution
See the problem from their eyes
Identify the key issues and concerns
Determine what results would constitute a fully acceptable solution.
Identify possible new options to achieve those results.
We view ourselves in light of God’s eyes: how did we fall short of love!?

22. Closing Reflection
The etymology of the word Reconciliation essentially means “to see eye to eye”
Re = again
Con = with
Cilia = eye lash
Concilio = assembly (meeting eye to eye, again and again, return us to assembly, to communion)
The Sacrament of Reconciliation reunites us:
God
CHURCH
Ourselves

23. Discussion Reflect and recall where you experienced win-win.
Reflect and recall where win/win was not possible.
What has been a high, low and muddy from this presentation?
High = positive experience
(like you’re pumped up, excited, energized)
Low = negative experience
(made you feel sour, down or brought up a bad memory)
Muddy =unclear content
Something you would like to clarify