1. Block Class Writing Review
Fall, 2017

2. The Basics: Essay Topic
Here is the essay prompt you wrote your Paperman essay on:
After watching the short film Paperman directed by John Kahrs, write an essay identifying the theme of the movie and discuss different ways in which the director expresses this theme through direct evidence and examples from the film.
In order to support yourself well, you should look beyond simple
plot elements.
Any guesses on what we as a class struggled with in regards to our approach to this essay?

3. The Basics: Essay Topic
After watching the short film Paperman directed by John Kahrs, write an essay identifying the theme of the movie and discuss different ways in which the director expresses this theme through direct evidence and examples from the film.
In order to support yourself well, you should look beyond simple plot elements.

4. The Basics: Essay Topic
So what ways could you have supported your theme beyond using plot elements?

5. Specific Areas of Improvement
On many of your papers you’ll see my comment of PLOT SUMMARY (or “P.S.”).
What do you think that means. What am I criticizing you for when I say that?
So how do you support your argument with evidence from the text without summarizing the plot?
Two ways:
First, introduce your argument BEFORE you start talking about examples from the story (not vice versa).
Limit how much you explain in terms of pure reciting of pure plot.

6. Specific Areas of Improvement
Intro paragraphs: Let’s review what you need to do with these.
Beginning of paragraph: couple sentences discussing the issue in a broad sense (without mentioning any specifics of the story). Pro tip: it can be helpful to include an example or two of the idea your are referring to here at the beginning before moving onto #2 below.
A short summary of the story (don’t get into specific plot here). Make sure you’re mentioning both the title and the author.
End the paragraph with your thesis statement (or some call it a claim statement).

7. Specific Areas of Improvement
MLA Headers Moving to new paragraphs. What info does NOT carry over from one paragraph to the next? Avoid absolutes Do not use any 2nd person references

8. Specific Areas of Improvement
Wording issues (word choice/repetitive wording/too informal) Citing the title in your paper Avoid contractions Need to continually mention the author/director throughout your paper (not just one time in the intro). Why?

9. Looking at Some Specific Passages From Your Essays
“The way a person reacts to those events can change their whole course in life.” Here’s another in the same vein: “When a person thinks of fate, they usually…” “…showing what can happen when you put your mind to it.” “A lot of people can have the feeling that bad things can happen if…”

10. Looking at Some Specific Passages From Your Essays
“The way a person reacts to those events can change their whole course in life.” Here’s another in the same vein: “When a person thinks of fate, they usually…” “…showing what can happen when you put your mind to it.” “A lot of people can have the feeling that bad things can happen if…”

11. Looking at Some Specific Passages From Your Essays
(in the intro paragraph) “Finding love may take some time but it always works out for everyone in the long run.” or similarly, “Love always finds a way to form between two people.” (starting off the essay) “Many believe that true love is a myth. Many believe that love does not conquer all. But there are many ways to look at this issue. (starting off the essay) “With all the struggles of life being thrown our way, it’s hard to find true love & true happiness. Dreams don’t come easily so when someone finds something or someone spectacular, it’s worth fighting for.”

12. Looking at Some Specific Passages From Your Essays
(in the intro paragraph) “Finding love may take some time but it always works out for everyone in the long run.” or similarly, “Love always finds a way to form between two people.” (starting off the essay) “Many believe that true love is a myth. Many believe that love does not conquer all. But there are many ways to look at this issue. (starting off the essay) “With all the struggles of life being thrown our way, it’s hard to find true love & true happiness. Dreams don’t come easily so when someone finds something or someone spectacular, it’s worth fighting for.”

13. Looking at Some Specific Passages From Your Essays
(starting off the essay) “The theme of Paperman revolves around two characters that love each other. They’re separated at the beginning. Throughout the story they connect….” (starting off the essay) “Meeting someone at the grocery story who then ends up being a best friend for life, doesn’t just happen by coincidence. Most people would believe in that just being by chance.”

14. Looking at Some Specific Passages From Your Essays
(starting off the essay) “The theme of Paperman revolves around two characters that love each other. They’re separated at the beginning. Throughout the story they connect….” (the problem here is this person is jumping in too quickly) (starting off the essay) “Meeting someone at the grocery story who then ends up being a best friend for life, doesn’t just happen by coincidence. Most people would believe in that just being by chance.” (the problem here is that the two statements seems to contradict each other)

15. Looking at Some Specific Passages From Your Essays
(end of the intro paragraph) “The man attempted to find this girl so many times, that his heart was unable to give up, resulting in them finding each other. The connection of love, even with a split second interaction, was strong enough to pull these 2 people together.” (starting off the second paragraph of the essay) “In the film, the guy stands waiting for his train dreading to have to go to work.” (starting off the second paragraph) “Perseverance. Perseverance is the act of trying and trying until a person will succeed.”

16. Looking at Some Specific Passages From Your Essays
(end of the intro paragraph) “The man attempted to find this girl so many times, that his heart was unable to give up, resulting in them finding each other. The connection of love, even with a split second interaction, was strong enough to pull these 2 people together.” (the problem here is the theme is too specific to the story, it should be universal) (starting off the second paragraph of the essay) “In the film, the guy stands waiting for his train dreading to have to go to work.” (the problem here is that you should be reintroducing the title and character when you move to a new paragraph as well as the wording being too informal) (starting off the second paragraph) “Perseverance. Perseverance is the act of trying and trying until a person will succeed.” (this is an example of poor syntax)