1. Narrative Revising Pointers (COPY PURPLE NOTES)
This is your time to reflect on your writing…

2. When you have your narrative…
Revisions will be both a classwork grade - possibly point increaser
Priorities: the form for Revisions must be completed
#1 - any category that is not proficient/exemplary
#2 – the rule of “so what?” (if you provide a purpose/reason for events, dialogue, descriptions, revise them)
#3- add authentic, genuine feelings
#4 – review your diction – power-vivid verbs (eliminate “to be”)
#5 editing—Friday after mini-lessons

3. The Rule of So What?
As you write, you must not only relate events and conversations, but also what the experience means to you, its importance in your life, the SO WHAT? at the center of the story.
The Rule of So What? is a great technique to know for first drafts, but it is also an important consideration in revision.
Once your thoughts and ideas are down on paper, ask yourself, "Okay, so this and this and this occurred: SO WHAT? What’s the point?"
If you don’t know, revise until you do.

4. Hooks
You cannot simply use a question, dialogue, etc. as a hook. It must be engaging. It must make your reader want to keep reading.
How can you use a hook that makes your reader want to keep reading?
If you use a flash forward, how can you transition into the beginning of your story.

5. Reflections A 1-2 sentence reflection is NOT enough.
Why does this experience matter to you?
How has it impacted you?
What would you have done differently?

6. Description
Your description needs to work to make your story more interesting and vivid for your reader.
Can you take “tell” sentences and “show” instead?
Did you take the time to describe setting and characters enough that a reader can picture them?
Where would it be useful to have figurative language in your story? Don’t just throw it in wherever.

7. THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS
Knowing your thoughts and feelings is crucial if a reader is going to be able to participate in your story. Personal reflections—thoughts and feelings—help make a story engaging: interesting to read and vicariously experience. Personal reflections in narratives are often the source of the best so what’s?—the themes and significances of your experiences

8. THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS
When we reached the end of the beach, we turned around and headed back to the dining hall. When we got there, we watched the islanders sing. I was happy, yet it felt awkward to be so far away from home on such a special evening. My sister and mother left, and my dad and I sat down on the steps and gazed out over the pitch black ocean. I felt the peace and joy of Christmas settle within me.

9. THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS -mechanics
Chris slowly descended the stairs, all senses alert. What if someone attacks me? he thought. I won't be much use to Laura if I'm dead. 
He stopped on the bottom tread, holding his breath and peering into the gloom. Over in the far corner, something moved... or was he imagining things? No, he thought, something did move. Chris was sure of it. He swallowed. I wish I had stayed at home.
Note: use of the tag ‘he thought…’
No quotes are used for thoughts!

10. THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS -mechanics
Chris slowly descended the stairs, all senses alert. What if someone attacks me? I won't be much use to Laura if I'm dead. He stopped on the bottom tread, holding his breath and peering into the gloom. Over in the far corner, something moved... or was he imagining things? No, something did move. Chris was sure of it. He swallowed. I wish I had stayed at home Note: use of italics for emphasis –do NOT use big blocks of thought(italics)

11. THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS - mechanics
Chris slowly descended the stairs, all senses alert. What if someone attacked him? He wouldn't be much use to Laura if he were dead.
He stopped on the bottom tread, holding his breath and peering into the gloom. Over in the far corner, something moved... or was he imagining things? No, something had moved. Chris was sure of it. He swallowed. He wished he had stayed at home.
Note: thoughts fully blended

12. Let’s talk Dialogue Take notes and review the Dialogue Powerpoint
The next slides are for a mini-lesson in the coming days

13. An explanation of vague pronoun references and how to avoid them from English Grammar for Dummies, 2nd Edition.
You can improve your writing a lot by taking care not to use vague pronoun references. One pronoun may refer to one noun. A plural pronoun may refer to more than one noun. But no pronoun may refer to a whole sentence or a whole paragraph. Consider the following scenario:
Remember the handout about pronouns and the exercise in Springboard?

14. An explanation of vague pronoun references and how to avoid them from English Grammar for Dummies, 2nd Edition.
Lulu likes to arrive at school around eleven o’clock each day because she thinks that getting up at any hour earlier than ten o’clock is barbaric. The principal, not surprisingly, thinks that arriving two hours late each day is not a good idea. This is a problem.

15. An explanation of vague pronoun references and how to avoid them from English Grammar for Dummies, 2nd Edition.
Lulu likes to arrive at school around eleven o’clock each day because she thinks that getting up at any hour earlier than ten o’clock is barbaric. The principal, not surprisingly, thinks that arriving two hours late each day is not a good idea. This is a problem.
This certainly is a problem, and not because of Lulu’s sleeping habits or the principal’s beliefs. This is a problem because the antecedent of the word this is unclear. What does this mean? The fact that Lulu arrives around eleven? That Lulu thinks getting up before 10 is out of the question, or that the principal and Lulu are not getting along, or all of the above?

16. An explanation of vague pronoun references and how to avoid them from English Grammar for Dummies, 2nd Edition.
Lulu’s history research paper was ten days late and ten pages short. That earned Lulu an F on the assignment.
What convinced the teacher to fail Lulu? The lateness or the fact that she wrote exactly 34 words.
Because Lulu’s history research paper was ten days late and ten pages short, the teacher failed Lulu. (Now you know that both factors influenced the grade.)
Lulu’s history research paper was ten days late, so the teacher failed Lulu.
Lulu’s teacher was willing to overlook the fact that Lulu handed in her history research paper ten days late. However, the teacher failed Lulu for writing only 34 words instead of ten pages. (The teacher doesn’t care about lateness but objects to the length.)