1. Constructive Listening

2. “Sinawa (the Great Spirit) gave us two ears and one mouth in order that we might listen twice as much as we talk”
Native American saying

3. Read Modes of Listening
Pages 32-33
Ripples of Hope - Building Relationships for Educational Change by Julian Weissglass

4. Modes of Listening
Active Listening - reflect and then interpret what the talker is communicating
Passive Listening - listener does not say a word but indicates interest with nodding or smiling
Inattentive Listening - little attempt to comprehend or respond to talker
Pretend Listening - looks interested but thinking about something else
Conversational listening - role of talker and listener alternates
Argumentative listening - listener is passionate and looks for flaw in talker’s argument.

5. Constructive Listening
Read pages from Ripples.

6. Constructive Listening is useful for:
Helping you think clearly and act intelligently when addressing sensitive issues
Creating the safety people need to speak authentically about their feelings and beliefs
Building alliances and fostering cooperation
Helping reduce stress and anxiety

7. Constructivist listening is a tool for facilitating change.

8. Change Cannot Be Mandated
Change happens when “individuals and groups develop new understanding, build trust, decide to do things differently, and follow through on these decisions.”
“Attempting to mandate change is the antithesis of empowerment.”

9. Support Structures for Constructivist Listening
Dyad
Personal Experience Sharing Group (PES)
Personal Experience Panel (PEP)

10. Guidelines for PES and PEP
Each person is given equal time to talk (a timer is used)
The listener does not interpret, paraphrase, analyze, give advice, or break in with a personal story
Confidentiality is maintained
The talker is not to criticize or complain about the listener or mutual acquaintances in his/her turn

11. Guidelines for PES and PEP
CELL PHONES OFF!

12. Sample PES
The good, the bad, and the ugly!

13. PES Groups Jeff Fawn Chris Maria Heather Sandy Vicki Emily Kathy Echo
Christina
Ryan
Erin
Megan
Deana
Marilyn
Elayne
Helen
Sheryl
Monica
Michelle
Rene
Jeni
Kate
Rocio

14. PES Questions
What do you want the group to know about you? (First 2 minutes)
When do you remember being listened to attentively? How did you feel?
When were you not listened to well? How did you feel?
What are some memories of good conversations you have had? How did the conversation differ from just being listened to?