1. Personal Effectiveness
UPMC-Katz School of Business – November 2012
Horst Abraham

2. Contents EQ – Managing Self / Managing Others. Personal Best.
Values Assessment.
Behavior Shifts.
Skills and Competencies:
Fierce Conversations
Case Work – Dealing with difficult situations
Coaching
Finding my ‘Edge’.
Managing Personal Energy.
Mapping my personal development

3. According to the latest research
IQ accounts for what percentage of career success?
a. 50 to 60 percent
b. 35 to 45 percent
c. 23 to 29 percent
d. 15 to 20 percent
Your answer:___________ 3

4. The 5 Dimensions Of Emotional Intelligence
THE ABILITY TO MANAGE ONESELF
1. Self-Awareness
Knowing one’s own internal values, preferences, styles, and needs, associated with self-confidence
2. Self-Regulation
Self-control, trustworthiness, adaptability, and integrity
3. Self-Motivation
Personal achievement orientation, energy, and an optimistic inclination toward action

5. 5 Dimensions of Emotional Intelligence
THE ABILITY TO MANAGE OTHERS
4. Empathy
Sensitivity to others’ feelings, needs, and perspectives and the capability to facilitate others’ success
5. Interpersonal Competence
The competence to build strong, mutually reinforcing, life-giving relationships with others

6. Personal Best When you are at your best, …
_________________________________________

7. CoNVERSATIONS: ‘The work horse of a leader’’
What gets talked about and how it gets talked about determines what gets done and what does not get done. *Fierce

8. Three Transformational Concepts
1. Our careers, our relationships and our lives succeed or fail one conversation at a time.
2. The conversation is the relationship.
3. All significant conversations are with myself, and
sometimes they involve others.
* Fierce

9. 7 Principles:
1. Master the courage to interrogate reality.
2. Come out from behind yourself, into the conversations, and make it real.
3. Be here, prepared to be nowhere else.
4. Tackle your toughest challenges today.
5. Obey your instincts.
6. Take responsibility for your emotional wake.
7. Let silence do the heavy lifting.

10. Conflict Conversations Target Chart:
__________________________________________________________________________
Name Topic/Issue: Ideal Outcome:
____________ _____________ _________________
One of these feirce conversations may have to do with coaching/acknowledging people in my orbit =
SEGUE TO NEXT SLIDE 10

11. Prepare for a 60 sec. Confrontation Conversation:
1. Name the Issue.
2. Give 2-3 specific examples of the behavior in question.
3. Describe how you feel about the situation.
4. Explain what is at stake for you, the other person, the organization.
5. Identify how you have contributed to the problem at hand.
6. Indicate your wish to resolve the problem with the other person.
7. Invite the other person to respond.
8. Actively listen, paraphrase, dig for full understanding = Empathy
statements.
9. What have we learned? What else wishes to be said? How can we
move forward from here?
10. Review the agreement and identify a method by which you can
hold each other accountable for the success of the resolution. 11

12. Confrontation Worksheet 1:
What is the issue: A succinct, one sentence statement of the problem: (Example) “I want to speak to you about the effect of your leadership upon our work team”. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Select one or two specific examples that illustrate the behavior or situation you want to change: “When you …(describe the action / behavior)”
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
3. Describe your emotions around this issue: “…….then I feel……”

13. Confrontation Worksheet 2:
4. Clarify what is at Stake: What is at stake for me, you, the team, the organization?! _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
5. Identify your contribution to this problem: How have I behaved to influence/produce
the very result I am unhappy about? _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
6. Indicate your wish to resolve the problem: State that you wish to resolve this issue
(restate the issue) and you wish to work with the addressee to make that possible. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
7. Invite your partner to respond: NOTE : There was no attack, only a clear statement describing the reality around this particular behavior from your point of view. Now I really want to hear from you!
8. Identify agreements: Mutual interests and agreements that satisfy both parties become the basis of a renewed relationship. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

14. Fierce Learning Summary
Fierce = passionate, honest, authentic, well intentioned, .
We succeed or fail a time.
The conversation is the relationship.
The most important conversations are with myself and…..
State the issue – give example – state emotion – clarify what is at stake – id your contribution to the issue – indicate your desire to resolve the issue – invite other person to respond – reach agreement.
Name the persons you need to have a fierce conversation with = Who? When? What? Desired Result?

15. Self-Awareness & Self-Disclosure
“In order to know oneself, no amount of introspection or self-examination will suffice. You can analyze yourself for weeks, or meditate for months, and you will not get an inch further—any more than you can smell your own breath or laugh when you tickle yourself. Our self-reflection in a mirror does not tell us what we are like; only our reflection in other people. We are essentially social creatures, and our personality resides in association, not in isolation.”
SOURCE: Harris, in Cameron, 2007 15

16. Suggestions for effective feedback .
Helpful intention.
No pillows around the issue.
Unambiguous.
Clarify context.
Avoid ‘****’ sandwiches.
Actionable suggestion.

17. Feedback Exercise: In work groups
In round-robin fashion, each group member receives
feedback for 3-5 minutes:
What I appreciate about you – be specific.
The impact of the observed behavior(s).
One thing that would further increase your professional effectiveness (do more of/less of).
Feedback recipient shares what she/he heard
Q&A to ensure that feedback is understood.
Feedback recipient declares what action she/he will take to increase her/his effectiveness.

18. Four Player Model
Key functions in productive relationships, conversations and projects:
Move: Provides Direction, Initiates a course of
action, starts a conversation.
Follow: Provides Completion, supports a move / action
Oppose: Provides Correction, Opposes a move or
asks questions.
By-stand: Provides Perspective, paraphrase to ensure
shared understanding & agreement

19. 4-Player Model
Mover
Supporter
Bystander
Opposer

20. Caselettes Tough Situations you are facing
First tell, then select a story that depicts a tough-to-deal-with situation at work.
As a team, generate a best solution to the situation and map out the manner in which you propose to deal with it.
Later, select one person to tell the story, another to share how you propose to deal with the situation.

21. Values Assessment
Values 1 Values 2 _______________________ ________________________

22. High Performance Team Communication
SOURCE: Losada & Heaphy, 2003
Team Performance
High Medium Low
Positive Statement Ratio 5.6 to to to 1
(supportive, encouraging,
appreciation)
Inquiry/Advocacy Ratio 1.1 to to to 1
(asserting versus questioning)
Others/Self Ratio .94 to to to 1
(internal versus external focus)
Connectivity Average
(mutual influence, assistance)

23. Principles of Energy
Full engagement requires drawing on 4 sources of energy: Physical – Emotional - Mental – Spiritual
Because energetic capacity diminishes with both over- and under use, we must balance energy expenditure with intermittent energy renewal.
If energy management is left unattended, entropy will result.
Positive energy rituals = highly specific routines for managing energy - are key to full engagement and sustained performance.

24. The Dynamics of Energy Negative Positive High Negative Angry Fearful
Anxious
Defensive
Resentful
High Positive
Invigorated
Confident
Challenged
Joyful
Connected
Low Negative
Depressed
Exhausted
Burned Out
Hopeless
Defeated
Low Positive
Relaxed
Mellow
Peaceful
Tranquil
Serene
Positive

25. Exercise
With a partner, briefly share your answers to the following questions:
Think of a time when you were at your very best, when you contributed an unusual amount of value in your role as a leader, when you experienced extraordinary energy in your own life.
What caused you to feel and perform that way?
Report how you can/could produce such energy in your work place (Examples)

26. What research tells us about positive energizers
Those who positively energize others are higher performers themselves.
Position in the energy network is 4 x times the predictor of performance compared to position in the informational or influence/hierarchy network.
Positive energizers tend to enhance the work of others. People who interact with or are connected to energizers also perform better.
High performing firms had 3 x times as many positive energizing networks than low performing firms.
SOURCE: Dr. W. Baker

27. 9 Strategies to awaken motivation when doing creative work:
Theresa Amabile – Professor Harvard University.
FLOW-Test: Which moments produce feelings of ‘Flow’?
How was I better today than I was yesterday?
Performance Review: “What are my one or two most important goals? What am I doing to move myself in that direction?
20% Time: Take ___% of your time and dedicate it to work on a project you really are excited about that will benefit all.
Peer-to-Peer rewards.
Autonomy Audit: On a scale from 1 (Lo) to 10 (hi) , rate the amount of autonomy you have about your time, task, team, technique at work.
Pronoun Test: What is my/our language? I / we?!
Goldilocks: Create a diverse team; Establish a ‘no competition’ zone, Task shifting; Motivate with purpose, not with rewards,
FED-EX Day: chuck the doughnuts, bring on the real challenges / opportunities.

28. Coaching by asking questions
1. What is the most important decision you are facing? What is keeping you
from making it?
2. What are you trying to make happen in the next three months?
3. What topics are you hoping I won’t bring up?
4. What area under your responsibility are you most/least satisfied with?
5. What parts of your responsibilities are you avoiding right now?
6. Who are your strongest employees? What is your plan for them?
7. Who are your weakest employees? What is your plan for them?
8. What conversations are you avoiding right now?
9. What do you wish you had more time for?
10. What things are you currently doing you would like to stop doing &
delegate?
11. What is the highest leverage use of your time right now? Are you doing
that?
12. If you were hired to consult your company, what would you advise?
13. If you were competing with your company, what would you do?
14. What threatens your peace? What threatens your personal health?

29. Exercise #1:
Write a paragraph that describes your organization a year from now, but focus the paragraph on the most obvious negatives that might come/stay in play: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

30. Exercise #2:
Write a paragraph that describes your organization a year from now, but focus the paragraph on the most obvious positives that might come/stay in play: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

31. ‘Fractals’ for Organizational Culture ARE LIKE SNOWFLAKES TO AN AVALANCHE