1. Husbands Week 15 A Husband’s Role in Marriage
… Likewise, ye husbands, … giving honour unto the wife,
1 Peter 3:7

2. Biblical Counseling Basics 2012 - 2013
Faith Baptist Church of Palm Bay
Biblical Counseling Basics

3. Biblical Counseling Basics Set #2 NOVEMBER / JANUARY 2013 (allowing for holidays)
11/14/2012 – Idols of the Heart
11/28/2012 – Video Example of Counseling
12/05/2012 – Counseling Video Discussion
12/12/2012 – Video Example of Counseling 2
12/19/2012 – Counseling Video Discussion 2
01/09/2012 – The Purpose for Marriage
01/16/ The Role of the Husband
01/30/2012 – The Role of the Wife

4. A Husband’s Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband’s Role in Marriage
Woman arguing that the Bible says the husband should make the coffee, “Hebrews”
Oliver Green “Only a Christian can fulfill the role of a husband
Who makes the Coffee?

5. “Only a Christian can fulfill the role of a husband.”
Week 15
Husbands
“Only a Christian can fulfill the role of a husband.”
– Evangelist Oliver B. Greene
(February 14, 1915 – July 26, 1976)
Founder of “The Gospel Hour Inc.”

6. A Husband’s Role in Marriage Two Reasons Why This is Very Important
Week 15
A Husband’s Role in Marriage
Two Reasons Why This is Very Important
We do more marriage counseling than anything else
(90% couples or couples w/ children)
Good place to apply the principles personally
Woman arguing that the Bible says the husband should make the coffee, “Hebrews”
Oliver Green “Only a Christian can fulfill the role of a husband
“God has given you the privilege of letting your lips say the words that your ears need to hear”
Husbands

7. Learner Lover Leader A Husband's Role in Marriage Week 15
Three Words that Describe The Husband’s Role
Learner
Lover
Leader
Woman arguing that the Bible says the husband should make the coffee, “Hebrews”
Oliver Green “Only a Christian can fulfill the role of a husband
Husbands

8. 1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Husbands

9. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
I. Learner
Dave Bond and Patti’s
Strawberry Shortcake
Husbands

10. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
I. Learner
A Command
World Says: “You can’t Understand a Woman”
A command that takes time
A command that takes study
Husbands

11. A Husband's Role in Marriage Fifty Questions to Ask Your Wife
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
Fifty Questions to Ask Your Wife
(samples)
What are your 5 favorite foods, with the most favorite first?
What are your 5 favorite hobbies, with the most favorite first?
What is your favorite verse(s) of the Bible? Why?
What things (personal, home, car, etc.) need repairing?
What concerns do you have that I do not seem interested in?
What personal habits do I have that you would like changed?
What ways demonstrate to you that you are a very important person who is as important or more important than I am?
Husbands

12. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
I. Learner
A Command to Treat Her as Fragile
…as unto the weaker vessel … (1 Peter 3:7)
Line all the men and women in the world and have them run
4 months of Ranger School – no women there
Marathon
Rangers
Husbands

13. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
I. Learner
Learning Affect Your Spiritual Life
… that your prayers be not hindered … (1 Peter 3:7)
Line all the men and women in the world and have them run
4 months of Ranger School – no women there
Hamlet
Husbands

14. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
II. Lover
What is Love?
American Culture doesn’t help
Feeling, Sex, Falling in/out, Infatuation, Lust, Getting another mother
Biblical View:
John 3:16
Galatians 2:20
Husbands

15. John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Husbands

16. Galatians 2:20
I am crucified with Christ: neverthless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
Husbands

17. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
II. Lover
What is Love?
Biblical Love is a test of God-like masculinity Ephesians 5:25
(not weak / effeminate as Christ is sometimes portrayed)
Husbands

18. Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Husbands

19. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
II. Lover
What Degrees of Love are we to show?
First 1 John 4:19 (not other female friends or co-workers)
Husbands

20. We love him, because he first loved us.
1 John 4:19
We love him, because he first loved us.
Husbands

21. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
II. Lover
What Degrees of Love are we to show?
First 1 John 4:19
Most Ephesians 5:25
Husbands

22. Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Husbands

23. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
II. Lover
What Degrees of Love are we to show?
First 1 John 4:19
Most Ephesians 5:25
Sacrificial Ephesians 5:25
Husbands

24. Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Husbands

25. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
II. Lover
What Degrees of Love are we to show?
First 1 John 4:19
Most Ephesians 5:25
Sacrificial Ephesians 5:25
Howard Hendricks Golf Sacrifice Family Man
Husbands

26. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
II. Lover
What Degrees of Love are we to show?
First 1 John 4:19
Most Ephesians 5:25
Sacrificial Ephesians 5:25
Unmistakable 1 John 3: Daily Loving Deeds List Taking Trash out; Reagan Letters
Husbands

27. 1 John 3:18
My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.
Husbands

28. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
II. Lover
What Degrees of Love are we to show?
In Spite of Faults Romans 5:8
Husbands

29. Romans 5:8
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Husbands

30. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
II. Lover
What Degrees of Love are we to show?
In Spite of Faults Romans 5:8
Without Bitterness Colossians 3:19
Husbands

31. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Husbands

32. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
II. Lover
What Degrees of Love are we to show?
In Spite of Faults Romans 5:8
Without Bitterness Colossians 3:19 Year-old Stories 50 Year-old problem
Love as our own Bodies Ephesians 5:28 (Food, Exercise, grooming)
Husbands

33. Ephesians 5:28
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Husbands

34. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
III. Leader – Matt 20
What Leadership is not
A Dictator
Parable of laborers v. 1-16
Husbands

35. 5 Again he went out about the sixth and ninth hour, and did likewise.
Matthew 20:1-16
1 For the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man that is an householder, which went out early in the morning to hire labourers into his vineyard.
2 And when he had agreed with the labourers for a penny a day, he sent them into his vineyard.
3 And he went out about the third hour, and saw others standing idle in the marketplace,
4 And said unto them; Go ye also into the vineyard, and whatsoever is right I will give you. And they went their way.
5 Again he went out about the sixth and ninth hour, and did likewise.
6 And about the eleventh hour he went out, and found others standing idle, and saith unto them, Why stand ye here all the day idle?
Husbands

36. Matthew 20:1-16
7 They say unto him, Because no man hath hired us. He saith unto them, Go ye also into the vineyard; and whatsoever is right, that shall ye receive.
8 So when even was come, the lord of the vineyard saith unto his steward, Call the labourers, and give them their hire, beginning from the last unto the first.
9 And when they came that were hired about the eleventh hour, they received every man a penny.
10 But when the first came, they supposed that they should have received more; and they likewise received every man a penny.
11 And when they had received it, they murmured against the goodman of the house,
Husbands

37. Matthew 20:1-16
12 Saying, These last have wrought but one hour, and thou hast made them equal unto us, which have borne the burden and heat of the day.
13 But he answered one of them, and said, Friend, I do thee no wrong: didst not thou agree with me for a penny?
14 Take that thine is, and go thy way: I will give unto this last, even as unto thee.
15 Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? Is thine eye evil, because I am good?
16 So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen.
Husbands

38. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
III. Leader – Matt 20
What Leadership is not
A Dictator
Parable of laborers v. 1-16
Example: Unselfish Service v
Christ describes his death
Husbands

39. Matthew 20:17-19
17 And Jesus going up to Jerusalem took the twelve disciples apart in the way, and said unto them,
18 Behold, we go up to Jerusalem; and the Son of man shall be betrayed unto the chief priests and unto the scribes, and they shall condemn him to death,
19 And shall deliver him to the Gentiles to mock, and to scourge, and to crucify him: and the third day he shall rise again.
Husbands

40. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
III. Leader – Matt 20
What Leadership is not
A Dictator
Parable of laborers v. 1-16
Example: Unselfish Service v
Example of selfish service v
Husbands

41. Matthew 20:20-24
20 Then came to him the mother of Zebedees children with her sons, worshipping him, and desiring a certain thing of him.
21 And he said unto her, What wilt thou? She saith unto him, Grant that these my two sons may sit, the one on thy right hand, and the other on the left, in thy kingdom.
22 But Jesus answered and said, Ye know not what ye ask. Are ye able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of, and to be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with? They say unto him, We are able.
23 And he saith unto them, Ye shall drink indeed of my cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with: but to sit on my right hand, and on my left, is not mine to give, but it shall be given to them for whom it is prepared of my Father.
24 And when the ten heard it, they were moved with indignation against the two brethren.
Husbands

42. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
III. Leader – Matt 20
What Leadership is not
A Dictator
Theme of servanthood applied leadership “The test of your servanthood is how you respond when you are treated like one.”
Husbands

43. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
III. Leader – Matt 20
What Leadership is not
All the Decision-Making
Husbands

44. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
III. Leader – Matt 20
Positive Pace Setter
Christ Trained 12 guys well and then left
Turn off TV
and take kids
What’s For Dinner
Include Wife in decision
Pick-up Truck
Admonish Encourage
in private
Public Correction
Husbands

45. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
III. Leader – Matt 20
Positive Pace Setter
Focus On Wife’s Needs Philippians 2:20-21 Ephesians 6:4
Husbands

46. Philippians 2:20-21
20 - For I have no man likeminded, who will naturally care for your state For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ's.
Husbands

47. Ephesians 6:4
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Husbands

48. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
III. Leader – Matt 20
Positive Pace Setter
Focus On Wife’s Needs Phil 2:20-21; Eph. 6:4
Goal Oriented Ephesians 5:26-28
Husbands

49. Ephesians 5:26-28
26 - That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 - That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Husbands

50. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
III. Leader – Matt 20
Positive Pace Setter
Focus On Wife’s Needs Phil 2:20-21; Eph. 6:4
Goal Oriented Eph. 5:26-28
Set Example of Self Control Philippians 4:9 Jeremiah 35:5-6
Husbands

51. Philippians 4:9
Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
Husbands

52. Jeremiah 35:5-6
5 - And I set before the sons of the house of the Rechabites pots full of wine, and cups, and I said unto them, Drink ye wine. 6 - But they said, We will drink no wine: for Jonadab the son of Rechab our father commanded us, saying, Ye shall drink no wine, neither ye, nor your sons for ever:
Husbands

53. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
III. Leader – Matt 20
Positive Pace Setter
Focus On Wife’s Needs Phil 2:20-21; Eph. 6:4
Goal Oriented Eph. 5:26-28
Set Example of Self Control Phil. 4:9; Jer. 35:5-6
Solve Problems Ephesians 4:29
Husbands

54. Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Husbands

55. A Husband's Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
III. Leader – Matt 20
Positive Pace Setter
Teacher
Lives Joyfully
Spiritual Leadership
Husbands

56. A Husband's Role in Marriage Recommended Resources for Further Study:
Week 15
A Husband's Role in Marriage
Recommended Resources for Further Study:
Priolo, Lou. The Complete Husband.
Scott, Stuart. The Exemplary Husband.
Farrar, Steve. Point Man.
Mack, Wayne. Strengthening Your Marriage.
Mack, Wayne. Homework Manual for Biblical Counseling - Vol. 2.
Adams, Jay. Christian Living in the Home.
Husbands

57. A Husband’s Role in Marriage
Week 15
A Husband’s Role in Marriage
Additional Handouts:
50 Questions to Ask Your Wife
103 Ways a Husband May Express Love to His Wife
How to Show Love for Your Wife (17 major points)
Score Card for Husbands – by Wayne Mack (Instructions included with the Husband’s Score Card)
Wives

58. Questions

59. Biblical Counseling Basics Set #2 NOVEMBER / JANUARY 2013 (allowing for holidays)
11/14/2012 – Idols of the Heart
11/28/2012 – Video Example of Counseling
12/05/2012 – Counseling Video Discussion
12/12/2012 – Video Example of Counseling 2
12/19/2012 – Counseling Video Discussion 2
01/09/2012 – The Purpose for Marriage
01/16/ The Role of the Husband
01/30/2012 – The Role of the Wife

60. Biblical Counseling Basics 2012
Faith Baptist Church of Palm Bay
Biblical Counseling Basics 2012